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Old 12-06-2012, 11:10 PM   #31
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Re: Would it bother you if..

yes. i would not like feeling obligated to play hostess. i would have DH tell them no and its rude to invite themselves.

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Old 12-07-2012, 06:54 AM   #32
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Re: Would it bother you if..

Wanting to be there and making the effort to do it - Great! However, not being considerate to ask when it will be a good time to visit and stay, is a big no-no in my book.

Maybe you (or DH) could let him know that the actual day/week of her birthday is not good and to visit the week before or after. Thankfully he gives notice so there is time to adjust things.
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Old 12-07-2012, 07:54 AM   #33
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Thanks so much for all the responses! Dh and I talked last night and came to an agreement. Visits on their birthdays is fine this year, and dh is going to talk to his dad about it being a bi yearly thing. So every other year well have the kids bdays for just our family, starting next year, and I can live with that!

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Old 12-07-2012, 05:47 PM   #34
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Re: Would it bother you if..

Could you suggest that he stay at a nearby hotel?
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Old 12-08-2012, 03:48 PM   #35
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Re: Would it bother you if..

I would love it..we live 8 hours away from family...mil and youngest bil are really the only ones who have ever come visit...my mom spent one day here.

My sister is spending her March break here and all family knows they can come up whenever. I would ask him to consider renting a van for the week so you guys all fit in a vehicle and can do fun things or just renting a car to get himself around...I would be more upset about being housebound. Can you guys just go out during the day while dh works?

If he doesn't want to do that I would tell him to have fun in the house reading or watching tv for a few hours while you guys go out as a family.

I LOVE visits though & am really hoping some family makes it out here this summer since we wont be traveling back their way until October.
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Old 12-08-2012, 03:50 PM   #36
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Re: Would it bother you if..

Quote:
Originally Posted by KaleidoscopeEyes View Post
yes. i would not like feeling obligated to play hostess. i would have DH tell them no and its rude to invite themselves.
I'm a terrible hostess so this isn't an issue for us...it's more of a fend for yourself type of thing when you visit here.
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Old 12-08-2012, 04:03 PM   #37
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I would be very annoyed!! Kids birthday days are just for us to spend with the kids. We go out and do something special. The past 2 years we did the zoo an hour away and wildlife museum and rented a hotel room, this year we're taking him to chuck e. cheese which is like 2 hours away. We'll have a birthday party too after his birthday with a few friends.
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Old 12-08-2012, 04:30 PM   #38
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Re: Would it bother you if..

Yeah, it would bother me. Who invites themselves for a week to someone else's house, brings a friend without real notice and then just expects everyone there to drop everything and cater to you? Yes, it's sweet that he wants to spend time with his grandbaby, and he should, but the way he's going about it is all wrong.

I'd definitely have your hubby have a talk with him. It's one thing if he asks about all this, but just expecting it to happen is way rude.
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Old 12-09-2012, 07:50 PM   #39
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No, not at all. I think it is great when grandparents try to be with their grand kids to celebrate the day they were born.

My fil doesn't even send a card let alone call them on their b-days. I'm not a big fan of his, but if he made the effort to come and be with them then I would def welcome him into our home.
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Old 12-09-2012, 09:12 PM   #40
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Re: Would it bother you if..

Ummmmm, you're DH needs to tell his Dad that IF he's allowed to come its only him, period. And that you and he are planning on taking DD out for her birthday and don't have room in your vehicle, so he should plan on renting one. That whole situation sounds like your FIL doesn't care that his wants are coming before your families needs.
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