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Old 12-07-2012, 12:27 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by jason&jilliansmama View Post
We are done. We have two boys and two girls and I got my tubes tied during my c section in August. I was on the fence about it beforehand. We had two boys and a girl and didn't find out the sex before. When she came out a girl I was content to be done. Then my OB said my uterus had become very thin - 4 c sections can do that to you - and I asked him to tie my tubes on the spot.

I'm content being done, but I think I'll always yearn for another baby. I loved being pregnant and I absolutely love everything about babies. Especially itty bitty newborns. My youngest is only 4 months old and I'm already nostalgic about her being a big girl and not a brand new baby anymore. I'm not heartbroken about not being able to have more kids, and I do have my hands very full with my four!! I've only got 2 in school and activities and our life is so hectic!!

Good luck making your decision. It's hard!
I could have written this!!! I didn't ask for my tubes to be tied though. I understand the contentment with 2 boys and 2 girls. I was even on the fence with having a 4th so when we found out the 4th was our second boy, it made the decision easy to be done and we feel complete. Hubby is getting a V next month. I am still feeling super busy. 1 in school. I love nursing and babies though. Will miss the snuggles, but kids growing up is also awesome too!!!

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Last edited by mariamommy; 12-07-2012 at 12:32 PM.
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Old 12-07-2012, 12:36 PM   #22
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Re: How do you kbow that you are done?

I just had my 3rd and we are very done. We said we might be done when I was pregnant with #2 but as soon as she was born I had this overwhelming feeling that someone was missing. Like I actually had another baby out there and I had to go bring him home. I would get this pang of sadness when someone announced their pregnancy. I really, really, really wanted another baby. I asked DH if he was done and he said he didn't feel done.

This time though about 3 days after DS2 was born we were all sitting around and I looked and said,"yep okay that's all of us". I felt relief and just very complete. Also my body is done. My BP went to scary high levels after my last 2 births. I think I would be putting my life in jeopardy to have another and my OB said as much. Also it's just so hard on the family with me pregnant. I don't want to put the kids through that again. Three is our max and DH is getting a V soon.
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Old 12-07-2012, 01:47 PM   #23
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Re: How do you kbow that you are done?

When DH and I got married we said we would have 2 children. We had our two kiddos. When DS2 was about a year and a half, I told DH that I wanted on more baby. We agreed that each of us would think about it for a year. I would try to be content with just having two, and he would really give thought to if he wanted a 3rd, and then we'd talk about it again in a year.

Well, just a few months after the conversation, I got pregnant. I was thrilled, but it really took DH some time to accept it, and even longer to be happy about it.

I still wanted another one though. When DS3 was about a year and a half old, I really really wanted another baby. DH said "NO! Not no but H**L NO!" I really REALLY wanted another one and I didn't feel like my family was complete.

So I prayed about it. My prayer to God was "God, if we are not meant to have another baby, take this intense longing away from me so that I don't end up resenting my husband. If we ARE meant to have another baby, change my husband's heart."
I prayed this at least 3x a week for a few months.

I had decided that while it made me sad to not have another baby, I could live with it and I gave away all of my baby clothes and 90% of my maternity clothes. That was last summer. In January my VERY REGULAR period was late. I took a test at 1 day late and it was negative.

At 3 days late I woke up to spotting and assumed it was my period. By the evening the spotting had stopped and was never even enough to leave traces in my underwear. I took another test and it was positive.

DH was a little upset. And for the record we had been responsible in avoiding a pregnancy. .... He called me the next day on his lunch break at work, he told me how much he loved me, that our newest baby was a blessing and he was excited. I was thrilled of course, our last baby it took him well into my second trimester to be happy.

And now, my DD (my girl after 3 boys), is perfect. I feel totally content with my family. I feel like my family is complete and I now support my DH's choice to get a vasectomy (when we have insurance again). Before I got pregnant with DD, I would tell my DH I didn't want him to get a vasectomy whenever it came it up. I was really against it because I didn't feel like I was done and I didn't feel like my family was complete. Now, I'm like "Yay, I can't wait until you can get your vasectomy done!"

So for me.. it's just been an intuitive "I'm not done yet," and now I feel totally happy with the kids we have and I don't feel the pull to have more.

Sorry that was so long, but I wanted you to have our full story.

God bless!
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Old 12-07-2012, 04:03 PM   #24
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Re: How do you kbow that you are done?

I have 4 kids. After 3 kids I thought I was done. Then when things started getting easier when the youngest was 1 I started thinking I wanted one more. When I got pregnant I was so excited. That pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. I was devasted. I was scared to get pregnant again. My desire for another baby won out and I got pregnant again after a long time of trying. I am very happy with my 4 living children. The thought of having anymore is not appealing at all. I know that I am done.
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Old 12-07-2012, 04:09 PM   #25
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I have 2. One of each. I knew I was done when I conceived with my second. I have normal pregnancies its just the after that I don't handle well. I need sleep and thinking that I won't get it makes me insane!

I think I will always long to hold a newborn baby and nurse that little one, but I know my limits. I think if you know your limits you know how many is too many.
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Old 12-07-2012, 04:33 PM   #26
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Re: How do you kbow that you are done?

I feel complete with my family as it is (my dd and I) but deep down I mourn the loss of not having more children. It's silly because I only want my one child, but I still feel sad that I won't do it again.
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