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Old 12-14-2012, 03:41 PM   #101
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Re: Chat Thread ~ Dec 9th-15th

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Originally Posted by mibarra View Post
This was going to be the last baby, but since it's girl #3 I'm not 100% sure now. DH and I have talked some, and we still feel like it will probably be last baby, since we feel #4 would most likely be a girl as well, but we also felt like we wouldn't really know for sure if we were done done til we see how things go.
Definitely don't make a "permanent" decision until/unless you're absolutely sure.
On one hand, they say after you've had 2 or more babies of the same gender, you're much more likely to continue that gender. But then again our friends had 3 boys, tried once more and got their girl, and I saw a family with 7 boys and then a baby girl, and we had a girl then 3 boys and then another girl... so I just take it as "the luck of the draw" so to speak each time!

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I have a step daughter who is 6, my son turns 6 in a week
Don't know why I never clued in to that - do you find it easy or difficult, that they're so close in age? I mean, when they're both there, it's gotta be damn near like just having twins, eh?

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The school shooting is so, so heartbreaking and sad. I think events such as this remind us to treasure our little ones even more. So horrifying.

The "at peace" is the feeling we aimed for, too! After two, we were unsure and I didn't want to do anything permanent until I felt at peace about it. Now I know why we were unsure, we were waiting for this newbie on the way!

I was asked at my nurse history appointment if I wanted a flu shot and just said no and that was it, no scary propaganda thrown my way.

I have only had first trimester losses, but what you said about the stress, worry, and fear, and how it affects the rest of the family, is very true for us.

And you are indeed very, very busy with holiday activities! We've got a game night, oldest son's birthday, and an Ugly Sweater Party, but other than that, we keep our holiday very low key (easy to do when all our extended family is 5 hours away or across the country!)
I hate that stuff like that happens. People, as a generality, suck.

We are (well, I am anyways) feeling at peace with this being our last pregnancy. I mean, I still feel sentimental, watching Hiccup bouncing and kicking in there, seeing my belly moving around... but it's an okay feeling, not overly sad. Just makes me cherish this time that much more, I guess.
Like I said, adoption has been in my heart for years. Really, my only real fear about it (not that I think it would be a cake-walk, but none of our family journey has been thus far!) is the $$ aspect... and that seems like a not-so-good reason to not look further into it. So, we'll see what comes up in the next few years.
Some people (namely my parents, with some rude comments) made it clear that we should NEVER take the chance of getting pregnant again after losing Elli. We talked about it a lot, and decided that when we were ready, DH would have the vas, but that we weren't totally for sure then so we would wait and see how we felt - being in the midst of grief is not the time for making choices like that! Like you said, now I know why we weren't sure, why we thought "maybe... but maybe not just yet" - thank goodness we followed our hearts instead of listening to others, otherwise Hiccup would never have been

I've never been asked about the flu shot - whether at the OB office, or our fam Dr. I wonder if that's the norm here? Or maybe they just see that I/we haven't ever had it, so figure why bother asking.

We have had 5 very early miscarriages, and then lost Elli. Not very many people know about our miscarriages. They were very hard to get through, and still are remembered (I can remember the months of the losses and exact weeks+days).
We waited as long as possible before telling the kids anything - which really isn't that easy because they noticed my belly and started asking - it's heartbreaking to tell your child that you are pregnant and have them respond "I really hope this baby lives". The u/s was a big deal for them, too, to hear that everything is looking perfect and normal, and to see pictures of Hiccup - I think that's helped them as much as it's helped us.

We've just got a busy week next week, then the actual holidays/break is very laid back. This is our first year with family (DH's parents) nearby so we're used to doing it "alone", just as a family. Thankfully, they just want to come out and do what we normally do, just be with us !

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Old 12-14-2012, 05:17 PM   #102
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Re: Chat Thread ~ Dec 9th-15th

Ah, Christmas cards. We did pictures and everything, but I'm just not up to sending out cards. We'll sent out baby announcements. I also haven't decorated my house. Our tree is up, and that is it. I'm rationalizing by the fact we won't actually be here on Christmas. If we hadn't been out of town for so long, it would have been done. Now, eh... it's so close for so much work. I suppose I will have to get the stockings out though
This will be our last pregnancy. If we were only having one baby, I'd probably consider another, but twins is pushing me to my limit. That's it. Although we will wait to do anything permanent until after babies are born and I am at least somewhat recovered.
I hope everyone gets all their Christmas stuff done this weekend, including me!
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Old 12-14-2012, 06:47 PM   #103
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Re: Chat Thread ~ Dec 9th-15th

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as for us, I am hoping for more babies at this point, so not the last for me. My 'plan' (nothing ever works out for my plans) is to get pregnant when this baby is about 18months old, so they'll be a little closer than these two (mere months), but I think the military might have other plans that may or may not circumvent that plan. We'll see. Even so, getting pregnant isn't usually a very easy feat for us.
Yeah, the military really likes to screw up plans, don't they? We had been TTC essentially since DH got back from his last deployment and finally got this sticky bean 3 months before he deployed again.

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Like I said, adoption has been in my heart for years. Really, my only real fear about it (not that I think it would be a cake-walk, but none of our family journey has been thus far!) is the $$ aspect... and that seems like a not-so-good reason to not look further into it. So, we'll see what comes up in the next few years.

We've just got a busy week next week, then the actual holidays/break is very laid back. This is our first year with family (DH's parents) nearby so we're used to doing it "alone", just as a family. Thankfully, they just want to come out and do what we normally do, just be with us !
We'd really like to adopt, too. We agreed when I got pregnant that this would be our last pregnancy - regardless of outcome. I just couldn't handle the stress of another TTC and first trimester period. I am kind of sad that that's what is preventing us from another biological one. BUT, we almost adopted before DS, after DS, and befor this baby. We just haven't been at a good base/assignment to make it happen. We want to adopt out of the system and it takes too long for our past assignments. So I'm thinking not this coming assignment, but the one after that. This babe will be about 4 or 5. If we adopted an older baby or young toddler it would be perfect.

Glad Christmas will be low key for you. Our Christmas's have always been fast paced, but in a way I kinda like it. It's what I grew up with and expect.

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This will be our last pregnancy. If we were only having one baby, I'd probably consider another, but twins is pushing me to my limit. That's it. Although we will wait to do anything permanent until after babies are born and I am at least somewhat recovered.
You may have mentioned it, but are your twins fraternal or identical? I am so excited for you! Twins!


AFM: had a fun play date with some friends and then heard about the school shooting. I just don't even have words, but I felt like I couldn't post without mentioning those families. They are in my thoughts and prayers, like everyone I am sure. Very busy weekend for us and then we leave for my parent's on Monday. Gonna do my very best to pause and be thankful for every stressful moment I have with DS!
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Old 12-14-2012, 07:49 PM   #104
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Re: Chat Thread ~ Dec 9th-15th

WOW! Just finished all the reading. I have been absent all week bc we just got back from DisneyWorld. We had a blast but I am exhausted and will be good with the whole Disney thing fro another 5 years.

We got the majority of shopping done in Disney actually which was not the thriftiest of ideas but dh kind of took it over and I was happy that I really just had to entertain the kids while he took charge of it. I hate shopping--not sure why it is just boring and causes anxiety for me--again not sure why lol. I just have to send a check to my sister bc we are getting broadway play tickets for my parents and a check to sil for mil gift. Then I just have to get my neice a nephews something and finish up the kids and dh. Dh and I already now what we are getting each other and I will probably have him order his gift and vice versa.

I had a birthday while in disney and dh got me a cute little figurine and I got clothes before the trip from Gap plus I guess I should count the car. Dh keeps wanting to get me things and again I have the anxiety about shopping and keep telling him no but I feel bad telling him I am good.

As for stretch marks I do not have any and not sure why I don't. Not complaining but with my 1st pregnancy I gained 80lbs. I lost all the weight and had not strtch marks. My mom and sister were furious with me bc I did not have any. I hope I do not get any with this one.

This will be my last pregnancy. We are done at 4. We will have 2 and 2 so thats good. Besides I think I am good with the size of the new car and not want anything bigger or more expensive or have to pay $100 to fill it up. All the right reason!?
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Old 12-15-2012, 06:25 AM   #105
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Re: Chat Thread ~ Dec 9th-15th

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We'd really like to adopt, too. We agreed when I got pregnant that this would be our last pregnancy - regardless of outcome. I just couldn't handle the stress of another TTC and first trimester period. I am kind of sad that that's what is preventing us from another biological one. BUT, we almost adopted before DS, after DS, and befor this baby. We just haven't been at a good base/assignment to make it happen. We want to adopt out of the system and it takes too long for our past assignments. So I'm thinking not this coming assignment, but the one after that. This babe will be about 4 or 5. If we adopted an older baby or young toddler it would be perfect.
If we do adopt, it would likely be from overseas. We may foster babies here for a time before we totally decide anything. This, again, would be years in the future. I would want all the kids to be old enough to be able to handle and work through the emotions involved in connecting with a baby while knowing they're going to leave our home. Right now, that would be too difficult for the kids.

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WOW! Just finished all the reading. I have been absent all week bc we just got back from DisneyWorld. We had a blast but I am exhausted and will be good with the whole Disney thing fro another 5 years.

This will be my last pregnancy. We are done at 4. We will have 2 and 2 so thats good. Besides I think I am good with the size of the new car and not want anything bigger or more expensive or have to pay $100 to fill it up. All the right reason!?
Glad to hear you had fun in Disney! I assume all went well? for getting the shopping done, but I totally am with you on the anxiety thing - I'm sure it's about the $$ being spent for the most part. I could do Christmas with no gifts, though - maybe just stockings for the kids. Ah well, I suck it up and get through the gift part and enjoy the food and visiting!

That's definitely a cruddy thing about having a van - our's is about $80 to fill, and that's from between 1/4 and 1/2 tank (we try to fill when it hits 1/2 or the next trip after). If gas prices would be anywhere near reasonable, it would be quite a bit less.

AFM: Gotta get groceries today. When I decided not to go to town yesterday I kinda blanked on the fact that it's coming up to Christmas and tons of people will be out shopping today. Ick.

Hmm... instead, I'll think about the french toast we're having for breakfast

I'm getting antsy to get started on some crochet/knit projects for Hiccup... but I am making myself finish things I had put aside before I can start those. Boo. I'm almost done Levi's birth announcement cross stitch... yeah... the one I should have been finished over 2 years ago! DH teased me the other day saying I need to hurry up and finish that one so I can start Hiccup's! But I'm definitely taking a "break" and doing some other projects first.
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Old 12-15-2012, 08:57 AM   #106
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Re: Chat Thread ~ Dec 9th-15th

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About the girl i met earlier today, i text dh and said, "ivemet someone and we have a pending date on monday." He freaked!! It was hi-lar-ious!!
Haha! That's awesome


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Sorry I have been so absent! DS is finally over (mostly) his first cold ever... Talk about laaaame. I got the same cold (I'm assuming), then just when I thought I was getting better, started throwing up! That lasted about 24 hours, then when I thought surely this is the end of things... I have a sinus infection. Yay. So I'm still trying to fight that - really, really, really don't want to take antibiotics, but it's been several days and I don't know if it's getting any better. I finally broke down and took some "pregnancy safe" decongestants yesterday AM, and they've helped somewhat. I don't feel like my sinuses are about to push my teeth out anymore, but I still feel terrible taking them. Any input for safe home remedies? I'm already flushing my sinuses out with a Sinusense constantly, using TTO over my sinuses, upped my vitamin C intake, and I'm napping every time I get the chance. And it feels like I am making NO headway. Sorry to whine about being sick...

Saw a local midwife earlier in the week. She obviously can't attend my HB, but I thought her standard of care would be better than my OBs, especially since she's been delivering babies for almost 40 years. Nope!! I couldn't believe it.
I got lectured about the flu shot and how the flu could KILL my baby (nevermind the 4200% increase in miscarriages following the flu shot), how HIV testing is MANDATORY (not true) and if I don't submit to it, well that's fine, they'll just draw blood from my baby and do the test on HIM, how I'm putting myself and baby in danger by having a med-rare steak and putting feta on my salads (I didn't tell her I was trying to source local raw milk... Lol), and how I NEED to come every two weeks from now (22 weeks) on because despite the fact that I'm low risk and perfectly healthy, pregnancy might not be a medical condition *now* but oh sweetheart it COULD turn into a serious medical condition VERY quickly and that's why we need to check baby's growth - no, your husband can't do that - and listen to his heartbeat every two weeks.
And then to top it all off, on my way out, the nurse handed me a little welcome bag that contained (among propaganda - I mean, pamphlets - for the flu shot and Tdap which the midwife had already given me) a pregnancy journal and prenatal vitamin samples... With SIMILAC stamped all over them! Nothing against formula feeding moms, really, but to start pushing it on pregnant women from the get go???? I was disgusted.
I honestly can't decide whether to just stay with my OB - at least he knows me, knows AND RESPECTS my preferences, supports, albeit begrudgingly, what I want to do, and will provide care on MY terms - or give this midwife another chance - other women (my mother included) swear by her and love her to death, she has a good reputation, and I'm not good at gauging whether she is really as much of a rigid bully as she came across or whether that's just the standard speech she gives to new patients. And of course DH is no help, even though he hasn't missed a single appointment and has seen everything I've seen. He just says, "Whoever you're most comfortable with." No (apparent) preference or bias whatsoever. So frustrating!




Joe would like for this to be our last, but no way could I handle that. Only two?!! He is crazy. He will come around sooner or later to having a ton of kids.
Sorry you haven't been feeling well. I usually just ride it out but a friend of mine was getting very frequent sinus infections during her pregnancy and she started using a netti pot for relief. She swears it shortened the infections.

I would definitely stick with your OB if the midwife is going to be that pushy. At least your OB is respectful and willing to work with you. My OB/office has never even broached the subject of a flu shot with the last pregnancy or this one. I wonder why some are so adamant about it and others don't even suggest it.


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Originally Posted by mommy2wyatt View Post
I'm feeling better and am starting to randomly feel our baby girl move around which is awesome
So glad you are feeling better! I hope it stays that way. Those first movements are always so exciting!

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Originally Posted by canadianbakers View Post

It is our last pregnancy. Not sure about last baby, though. Adoption is weighing very heavily on my heart the past few years.
I would love to have more pregnancies and babies, but I just don't feel like DH or I, or the other kids, can go through this stress again - the worry and fear, it's just very different this time than it ever was before.
DH is fully on board with getting a vasectomy done, and we're planning to get his appts started and whatnot after Hiccup comes and I'm "recovered" - we don't want to plan things now, for then, and have me end up with a csec with him also laid up, kwim?

I definitely feel sentimental about it being my last time being pregnant. But I'm okay with it. I do wish that Hiccup would stop staying still when DH puts his hands on my belly, though! He wants to feel baby moving, but even when Hiccup is super active, as soon as DH touches my belly, Hiccup goes very quiet. Turkey!






I also have to get some time to get our food for Christmas day and Eve - we sit around and snack on finger foods all evening, let the kids have a "picnic" in the living room, and watch Christmas movies
I told DH during/after our first pregnancy that I would try one more time (since everyone always says every pregnancy is different) but that if the second pregnancy was as bad as the first that I would be done and we would adopt after that. So far, this one has been almost as bad as the first but the real clincher will be whether or not I end up on bed rest again...even then, the thought of this being my last pregnancy is really hard to swallow and I'm sure we will be getting pregnant again because, as I tell myself multiple times a day, even though I hate being pregnant, the result of being pregnant is more than worth it. DH and I both really want a big family and two kids just isn't going to cut it. Not sure at what point we will decide not to have any biologically anymore... I think we will both feel at peace about it when the time is right. We have already talked about fostering/adopting when we are done with pregnancies though.

Kaelan is being the same way with her daddy! She'll be doing all sorts of gymnastic feats and as soon as his hand is on my belly it's as if she's lulled to sleep. While I would love to have him feel her move and i know he would too, it's been nice to get her to settle down at night when I am trying to fall asleep

I love the "picnic" in the living room with Christmas movies idea! So fun and lots of neat memories being created


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Originally Posted by dagmomma View Post
WOW! Just finished all the reading. I have been absent all week bc we just got back from DisneyWorld. We had a blast but I am exhausted and will be good with the whole Disney thing fro another 5 years.

We got the majority of shopping done in Disney actually which was not the thriftiest of ideas but dh kind of took it over and I was happy that I really just had to entertain the kids while he took charge of it. I hate shopping--not sure why it is just boring and causes anxiety for me--again not sure why lol. I just have to send a check to my sister bc we are getting broadway play tickets for my parents and a check to sil for mil gift. Then I just have to get my neice a nephews something and finish up the kids and dh. Dh and I already now what we are getting each other and I will probably have him order his gift and vice versa.

I had a birthday while in disney and dh got me a cute little figurine and I got clothes before the trip from Gap plus I guess I should count the car. Dh keeps wanting to get me things and again I have the anxiety about shopping and keep telling him no but I feel bad telling him I am good.

As for stretch marks I do not have any and not sure why I don't. Not complaining but with my 1st pregnancy I gained 80lbs. I lost all the weight and had not strtch marks. My mom and sister were furious with me bc I did not have any. I hope I do not get any with this one.

This will be my last pregnancy. We are done at 4. We will have 2 and 2 so thats good. Besides I think I am good with the size of the new car and not want anything bigger or more expensive or have to pay $100 to fill it up. All the right reason!?
Glad you had fun in Disney. Happy birthday!




AFM: I heard about yesterday's shooting while at work (I'm a high school teacher) and my heart broke. I can't imagine being in any one of the positions that so many people have been put in this past day...as a parent, waiting to find out if your child is alive; as a child, being scared out of your mind and not understanding the situation you're in; as a teacher/staff, trying to do what ever you can to protect the students; as a relative of the shooter, trying to understand why. I work in a very small district in the middle of nowhere and you always think, that would never happen here but I am sure if you asked anyone In that building that morning, they all would have said the same thing. So scary. I pray that everyone involved finds peace and comfort in the midst of their heartache
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Old 12-15-2012, 10:36 AM   #107
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Sorry you haven't been feeling well. I usually just ride it out but a friend of mine was getting very frequent sinus infections during her pregnancy and she started using a netti pot for relief. She swears it shortened the infections.

I would definitely stick with your OB if the midwife is going to be that pushy. At least your OB is respectful and willing to work with you. My OB/office has never even broached the subject of a flu shot with the last pregnancy or this one. I wonder why some are so adamant about it and others don't even suggest it.
I've been trying to ride it out but it is not fun. my ears started hurting pretty terribly yesterday, but I tried some onion juice and I was so surprised - my ears are almost back to 100% today! I broke down and took a mild decongestant, too, and it has helped so much. Hopefully this is almost over!

I have a Sinusense it's like a battery powered neti pot and I LOVE it! It definitely does help. I couldn't imagine having a cold without it.

The more I think about it, the more I have a gut feeling that it would be better to stick with my OB. There are a lot of things I don't like, but aside from UP'ing, he's really the only choice I've got! I think part of the pushiness might come from the fact that our area is generally poor/depressed/uneducated, and with someone who has a poor diet, doesn't care for their health, etc., some of the things I'm opting out of probably would be the better choice for them. Idk, that's just a guess.
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Old 12-15-2012, 02:19 PM   #108
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Re: Chat Thread ~ Dec 9th-15th

i spent too much on xmas gifts
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Old 12-15-2012, 03:07 PM   #109
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i spent too much on xmas gifts
I think I did ok, but we didn't get much. DH is unemployed Dec 31st. He has 2 potential jobs lined up but won't know til mid-January....
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Old 12-15-2012, 04:30 PM   #110
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i spent too much on xmas gifts
Me, too... I was doing pretty good. Then I reminded DH to pick out a special train track piece for him to open "from daddy" (since he's out of town- we wouldnt normally do that). Well DH was very sweet and picked out a special bridge (like we talked about) plus straight track, an engine, and four train cars that spell "JOEY"... so thats $90 I want expecting. Very sweet that he got so excited, but really? I wouldn't normally mind it, but last paycheck we went into emergency savings twice for a broken heater switch and vet bill.
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