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Old 12-17-2012, 08:47 AM   #1
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Newborn coming in less than 3 months and 2 year old won't stay in his bed

I'm having a very hard time figuring out what to do with my 2 year old boy who only wants me at night. He wants me to put him to sleep by laying down with him at night which I don't mind too much but he wakes up at 2 am or more often and wants to get in bed with my dh and I and I don't sleep well like that so I have to get up and comfort him back to sleep which wakes me up and exhausts me. My dd also needs me some nights to get back to sleep she's not as bad and is 4. My dh sleeps like a ROCK and I have to about shout and turn on lights to wake him up. He's also grumpy if I ask for much help and feels useless because the kids just cry harder for mommy. They are VERY attatched. I'd be okay with the situation (NOT thrilled but would deal) except I have chronic fatigue syndrome and have a newborn coming in less than 3 months. I know I'll be exhausted from waking up several times at night with the newbie. I am going to work hard at getting the newbie to sleep through the night but my babies resist it a lot traditionally and want to nurse a lot at night.

Anyways I'm tired and really want to start transitioning my ds into realizing daddy can help him go back to sleep and that he won't climb in my side of the bed constantly. I wish he still slept in a crib but there's no going back He screams for HOURS on end in one.

I've tried putting the kids in the same bed to comfort each other and the ds wakes up the dd and they don't sleep well.

Help! I'm at my wits end! Anyone deal with this?

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Old 12-17-2012, 08:59 AM   #2
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Re: Newborn coming in less than 3 months and 2 year old won't stay in his bed

Why does he get up at night? We had this problem with my son, and found that making him a fresh sippy cup and putting it in his bed soothed him back to sleep. I use to have to get up, make him one, and after 5 minutes we were both wide awake, so it's hard to get back to sleep. But by putting the sippy in his bed next to his pillow, he would reach for it half-asleep after he knew it was there, and drink it, and drift back off to sleep.

I would try that. Whatever he likes to drink, have in a sippy cup near or in his bed. When he wakes up, hand it to him, but always keep it in the same spot so he knows where it is. Eventually he will know where it is, and you won't need to hand it to him. Other than a drink, I don't see why he should be getting up in the middle of the night. So I would try that (even if he wants you).

My son is newly 4, and still needs a sippy cup before going to bed, but stopped the midnight wakes for one around 2.5 years old. It was a life saver, and sanity saver. When DD is just over 1 years old, I will put a bottle in her crib, so she can feed herself and go back to bed, instead of us both waking and having to get stuff ready, feed, and go back to bed. The less 'up' time they have, the easier it will be for them to go back to bed.

Hope this helps! Definitely give it a try! We do milk, because it's filling and comforting.
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Old 12-17-2012, 09:06 AM   #3
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Re: Newborn coming in less than 3 months and 2 year old won't stay in his bed

I do give him a drink in the night but he seems mostly interested in the comfort factor and the fact that he's very into physical touch. When he gets into bed he has to touch my face and arm and wants me in a particular hugging position. It's a comfort holding type thing he wants. He wants to be held all night. Thanks for your idea though. I do think that making sure they aren't thirsty, cold or hurting is vital!
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Old 12-17-2012, 09:21 AM   #4
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I always had DH start handling night waking when I'm about 6 months pregnant. It's rough for a few nights but my girls adjusted pretty quick. My DH is also a lighter sleeper than me.
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Old 12-17-2012, 09:40 AM   #5
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Can you try to transition him to being comforted by some sort of lovey?
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Old 12-17-2012, 09:40 AM   #6
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DH has been putting the boys to bed most of this pregnancy and putting them back to bed when they wake up.

I think it's important for your DH to put them to bed and tell the kids that you are in bed. I think they expect whoever put them to bed to come back in the middle of the night. Also can DH sleep near them for a few nights so he can get up with them easier? Our bedroom is far away from the boys so this helped us a lot.
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Old 12-17-2012, 11:38 AM   #7
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Re: Newborn coming in less than 3 months and 2 year old won't stay in his bed

3 months is still a long time, and lots change in those 3 months. My ds2 has become clingy to me now that I'm pregnant, and due in 9 or less weeks.
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Old 12-17-2012, 12:35 PM   #8
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Re: Newborn coming in less than 3 months and 2 year old won't stay in his bed

I was mean, but I put up a baby gate. For DS, who tried to knock it down, we had two baby gates zip tied together--one on either side of the door jam. If kiddo woke up in the middle of the night, we tucked kiddo back in bed, and left. Usually after a couple nights of this kiddo learns that going in mommy's bed isn't an option.
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Old 12-17-2012, 12:45 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by mibarra
I always had DH start handling night waking when I'm about 6 months pregnant. It's rough for a few nights but my girls adjusted pretty quick. My DH is also a lighter sleeper than me.
I really suggest you get your husband involved. Good luck.
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Old 12-17-2012, 01:04 PM   #10
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Re: Newborn coming in less than 3 months and 2 year old won't stay in his bed

It will be hard at first, but give them job over 100% over to your husband or if this is still continuing when they new baby comes you will be a wreck trying to care for both of them at night.

There will be nights of crying for a long time, and fighting it, but now he knows if he does it long enough he gets you. Don't give in. It's not mean to send daddy in to comfort, it's good to learn to receive comfort from him too!

We had the same problem when I was pregnant with my second, our first 2 are 13 months apart. So when I was about 7 months pregnant, putting the baby to bed became 100% daddy's job, and by the time the new baby was born, it was a non issue.
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