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Old 07-22-2013, 07:37 PM   #1
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Today child support notified me that his license was officially suspended. Later on in the day I find out that he may not have even had a valid license for them to suspend, but whatever.

I text him to let him know I had already notified my DD's school to let them know he didn't have a valid license and was not to pick her up unless someone else (with a valid license) was driving. My DD also knows that if he's driving she's to not get in the car with him.

So he reacts by calling me the *c* word. I kept my cool, but really had he made ONE payment of $30 in 6 months, this wouldn't have happened. Yet this is all my fault and how can he be involved with our DD if I'm always in the way? I mean clearly I see how this is all my fault. How dare I expect him to be responsible! We already had this discussion and I told him if he lost his license I would do exactly what I did. I told him there would be repercussions. I don't want my 5 year old to see her dad get arrested. Nor do I want her involved in accident where she may be hurt (seriously or not) and she wouldn't be covered because an unlicensed driver was driving.

But clearly I'm the irresponsible one here. Whatevs.

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Old 07-22-2013, 07:45 PM   #2
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Re: *rant* They finally took his license

I won't make your thread about me, but I will just say I TOTALLY understand your pain lol

I'm sorry you have to deal with him and his selfish irresponsibility
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Old 07-22-2013, 07:53 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fishie Kisses
I won't make your thread about me, but I will just say I TOTALLY understand your pain lol

I'm sorry you have to deal with him and his selfish irresponsibility
It's all good! I was just venting. You'd think I would know by now to expect this...it's been 5 1/2 years so I'm not really surprised.

I'm in the green...this was after he called me the *c* word, then said "pardon my language".

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I wanted to reply "one payment of $30 in 6 months would have stopped this from happening". He HAS the money, just chooses not to pay...he also complained that I make it too complicated for him to see her. He's come to 2 of her soccer games so far (she's had like 9). He doesn't call her during the week. He gets her for 24 hours a week. This week he cut his time short so he could go to a motorcycle rally...but it's always my fault. I could laugh. Oh and he's unemployed, so he has tons of free time.
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Old 07-24-2013, 02:40 PM   #4
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Re: *rant* They finally took his license

I know how all of that goes too well. It has been 5 years since our last CS order and my kids father has FINALLY to the point that the enforcement in MO has turned things over to the prosecuting attorney. he is behind by over 9000 and is a union employee but some how has avoided payment. IT will get there if it continues...but it takes patience and time. just our custody modification took 7 yrs, 7YRS!!! Im so glad to hear that you do not want your child away from their father but just that he step up his responsibility. far too many times the parents retaliate against the other parent by withholding the children or making rude and unnecessary comments to the children. Unfortunately it only hurts the kids because money is just that, money. Your kids feelings and well being are so much more important than hateful words. I wish more people saw that
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Old 07-29-2013, 08:14 AM   #5
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So, surprisingly, he still showed up last Friday for his visit with my DD. His GF was driving. He's still driving around the other kids, but as long as he's not driving with my DD in the car I can't really do anything. He still hasn't paid anything or attempted to pay, just blames me. Oh well.

Child Support made an appointment for me on Thursday to file a violation. I called and explained my situation...the court house is over 45 minutes away and I'm working that day, so if I have to go in person (I've never had to before) could I please go Tuesday or Wednesday (I have both days off) I haven't received a reply yet. I'm not going to take a day off of work and lose money just to file a violation. It's not worth it to me.
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Old 07-29-2013, 01:10 PM   #6
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So, surprisingly, he still showed up last Friday for his visit with my DD. His GF was driving. He's still driving around the other kids, but as long as he's not driving with my DD in the car I can't really do anything. He still hasn't paid anything or attempted to pay, just blames me. Oh well.

Child Support made an appointment for me on Thursday to file a violation. I called and explained my situation...the court house is over 45 minutes away and I'm working that day, so if I have to go in person (I've never had to before) could I please go Tuesday or Wednesday (I have both days off) I haven't received a reply yet. I'm not going to take a day off of work and lose money just to file a violation. It's not worth it to me.
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Old 08-10-2013, 02:38 PM   #7
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As another update, his stepdad came into my work today and was like "Lolz did you hear about his latest adventure" then proceeds to tell me how he was arrested last week for driving without a license. My DD wasn't with him, but his other 3 kids were. They watched their father get taken away on handcuffs, they were crying about it, but all is good because it was LOLZ ALL AROUND. Like seriously? So I told him mom that hopefully he gets his crap together now, but it's doubtful. He knew he didn't have a license, he knew he'd get arrested, his GF was in the car (she has a license) yet he was still driving. He told them it was for unpaid parking tickets and I said "or well the fact that he hasn't paid a cent of child support in over 6 months". His mom was like "well he doesn't have any money". I said "not working, not having money, doesn't excuse his obligations towards my kid or any of his kids". Then his stepdad said he wasn't sure who was telling the truth and why would he lie to him? So I said "that's what he does, why would you assume he tells the truth about anything"? I mean it's ridiculous. My ex is the way he is because no one calls him on his BS.

Apparently there is a public defender involved now. I'm not sure what that's all about...but the last time he was arrested (that I know of) for unpaid parking tickets, his bail was what he owed in fines. So why would a public defender be involved this time? Too bad they didn't make his bail what he owes in child support.
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Old 08-12-2013, 11:21 AM   #8
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Re: *rant* They finally took his license

My ex has not had is license in years due to failure to pay child support, that was lowered to $60 a month for our 2 kids.

And, of course...it's my fault. I feel ya.

If it makes you feel any better, I got a child support check (we go through the system now since he's no rights to my children and our address and info is confidential) for $0.79!!! DH and I just laughed.
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Old 08-12-2013, 11:25 AM   #9
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Re: *rant* They finally took his license

Quote:
Originally Posted by trying4more View Post
My ex has not had is license in years due to failure to pay child support, that was lowered to $60 a month for our 2 kids.

And, of course...it's my fault. I feel ya.

If it makes you feel any better, I got a child support check (we go through the system now since he's no rights to my children and our address and info is confidential) for $0.79!!! DH and I just laughed.
The minimum here is $350 a month no matter what you make. In what crazy place is it possible to have $60/month???
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Old 08-12-2013, 11:33 AM   #10
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Re: *rant* They finally took his license

I'm in Cali, so I guess so.

The original amount was $120 and that was based off a min. wage job at part time. He was working at the time, and he either paid $120 or did job search. He agree'd to pay $120. However, I NEVER EVER EVER got that.
He got a few warrants for not paying and not going to court to show why, so he ended up in Jail for domestic violence and the CS was brought up too, and they said they can lower it to $60 due to hardship.
Then, he started popping kids out with his GF, wife, Spouse...whatever she is, and went on welfare, so then he had no obligation to pay. That was fine since my husband takes care of them as his own.

Just in the last 2 months, they found him and took him back to court. They first came up with $359 or something like that. He went to court and said that he has his family and that he couldn't afford that much, so they lowered it to $113/mth

I've asked him to sign his parental rights over so DH could adopt them legally, but he said no. (he hasent' seen them in over 7 years and the courts told him no visitation due to his current legal history)
We are currently in the process of a step parent adoption.
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