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Old 12-10-2012, 06:22 PM   #1
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Lots of accidents in a 3 year old

Crossed posted in potty training, that sub forum doesn't get much action.

My 3 year old has been PLing actively for about 5 months, and he's still not fully day trained. Sometimes he will go days without an accident (with the except of nighttime) without having to be reminded to go, and sometimes he will refuse to use the potty when I ask and pee on the floor all day (thank goodness for hard wood ) I know regression is normal, but it seems like after 5 months he should be dry more often..? Days like today, he's completely refusing. I tried to put him in a trainer, he took it off. Made another accident, and put him in a diaper. Took it off. Put the diaper back on with pants over. Made an accident. What should I do when he makes accidents? I'm sick of cleaning up after him all day, but I don't want him under the impression that if he has a diaper on he's free to pee where ever. Ideas?

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Old 12-10-2012, 06:44 PM   #2
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Have you tried having him help clean up? I think it sounds like a power struggle. The bigger deal it is the more tempting it is to do. I always treated accidents calmly, with a gentle reminder we go pee in the potty, which seemed to work for DD, because it was never a "big deal", so to speak. Good luck!
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Old 12-10-2012, 07:02 PM   #3
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Re: Lots of accidents in a 3 year old

I treat them calmly, but I do alert him that if he doesn't want to go in the potty, he needs to wear a trainer or a diaper. I'm just not sure what kind of message I'm sending if I put him in something that he knows he can pee in - but I sure don't want to have to sop up 1 accident over another, kwim?

ETA: I've asked him to help clean up, but he refuses. He will, however, take off his wet trainer/diaper/pants and put them in the diaper pail if he goes because he doesn't like to be wet.
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Old 12-10-2012, 07:20 PM   #4
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Re: Lots of accidents in a 3 year old

Don't give him the option of refusing. Sit him there until he's ready to clean up. He'll catch on quickly.

The other option is to put him back in diapers full time and try again later.
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Old 12-10-2012, 07:37 PM   #5
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Re: Lots of accidents in a 3 year old

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Don't give him the option of refusing. Sit him there until he's ready to clean up. He'll catch on quickly.

The other option is to put him back in diapers full time and try again later.
We're exploring some possibly delays/sensory issues right now, and honestly, sitting him down and forcing him to do something is out of the question..especially with another small child to take care of.

He takes off diapers He can easily pull off diapers, trainers, and jeans. He won't wear them unless he wants to (and he usually doesn't.)
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Old 12-10-2012, 08:43 PM   #6
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We're exploring some possibly delays/sensory issues right now, and honestly, sitting him down and forcing him to do something is out of the question..especially with another small child to take care of.

He takes off diapers He can easily pull off diapers, trainers, and jeans. He won't wear them unless he wants to (and he usually doesn't.)
I would wait to see the results of that testing before doing anything drastic. Knowing what, if any, issues there are may be part of the answer
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Old 12-10-2012, 09:20 PM   #7
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Re: Lots of accidents in a 3 year old

Thanks, I'm kind of thinking so too. It's weird though, because he is extremely smart - I think advanced for his age as far as colors, shapes, counting, ect. and I KNOW he knows he is not supposed to pee on the floor. He throws insane tantrums and is very difficult, though. He also has some speech delays and taste sensory problems but that part is unrelated...I try not to push him too hard to do something he doesn't want to do, but he seems to WANT to go on the potty some days, and completely refuses another. I'm just unsure of what to do next
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Old 12-11-2012, 08:53 AM   #8
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Re: Lots of accidents in a 3 year old

My dd went through something similar when she was a young 3 learning to use the potty. She's almost 4 now and still pees a little in her pants a lot of times, and completely pees her pants often enough that it drives me crazy. Part of her issue is she just doesnt want to stop what she's doing to go pee. Even when I see she needs to go I have to say "go pee, go to the bathroom and go pee, go use the toilet, right now, go on, go to the bathroom", etc. And still she'll prance around a minute before getting into the bathroom.
My ds never had these kinds of issues. He helped me clean up the accidents and was PLed in just a couple months at 2, and totally night PLed before 3.5

Curious to know what others say on this.
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Old 12-11-2012, 10:10 AM   #9
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Re: Lots of accidents in a 3 year old

I agree that it sounds like a power struggle, and right now he is winning. Having one of my own children on the spectrum who struggles with sensory issues, I understand your concerns, but if I were you I would pick one thing and stick with it. Either continue to PL him and do away with trainers and diapers and just deal with cleaning up, or stick him in diapers (complete with pants he can not take off- most 3 year olds can not do buttons) and keep him in diapers until he is ready to fully PL.
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Old 12-11-2012, 10:55 AM   #10
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Re: Lots of accidents in a 3 year old

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I agree that it sounds like a power struggle, and right now he is winning. Having one of my own children on the spectrum who struggles with sensory issues, I understand your concerns, but if I were you I would pick one thing and stick with it. Either continue to PL him and do away with trainers and diapers and just deal with cleaning up, or stick him in diapers (complete with pants he can not take off- most 3 year olds can not do buttons) and keep him in diapers until he is ready to fully PL.
That makes sense. He can't undo buttons, but he can pull down bottoms, even jeans that are snug. It takes him awhile, but if he's persistent enough he can take them off. I guess I'll just continue to encourage him to use the potty..

Has anyone done sticker charts or candy with success?
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