Does this seem normal or should I get my child checked out?

[Made of Fleece]

I don't know WHAT is going on my toddler, but as SOON as she turned 2, it's been constant drama and tantrums. We didn't make it to a play date last week because she spent 45 minutes rolling on the sidewalk outside our midwife aptmt because I couldn't carry her. I eventually hauled her the 10 yards to the car caveman style. We missed her friend's b-day party because she wouldn't nap the entire day. I missed a brunch date today because she decided last night at 2:30am that she didn't want to sleep anymore, or eat, or play, or anything except cry until 6am. She'll tantrum about ANYthing, an itchy or "big" diaper but refuses to change it, if I write the letter "m" in the wrong place or color her picture with the wrong color... and especially about things that I can't provide, like defying the laws of physics with her toys or about not having the one and ONLY item of food I didn't pack in our picnic lunch. I'm at my wit's end. I've always thought she was particularly high need, clingy, and slightly OCD, but is this normal?

[luvsviola]

Welcome to 2.

Sadly, yes, it is normal.

[BeccaSueCongdon]

It's pretty normal for a 2 year old, honestly. They've got a more advanced cognitive ability than they do verbal skills and emotional maturity at that age. And they're still 100% self-focused and haven't got the ability to sympathize or see any other perspective than their own. My son was exactly like that, but things got worse as he got to 3, 3.5. We had him evaluated for sensory issues and he did some OT to help him learn some self regulating skills. You could call around and see if she can be evaluated by your local earl intervention program. It's free and they're required to do an evaluation and provide services if your kid qualifies. They could give you some perspective on what's normal for that age and what tools might serve her if she needs assistance.

[CASMama711]

For the most part, that sounds normal for two. The problems in the middle of the night would worry me if they continue, but not if it was an isolated incident. How are her language skills? Toddlers are more likely to tantrum when they're frustrated by not being able to express what they want.

[tinytushi]

It sounds normal to me as well. I have 3 and all of them around the age of 2 began acting like that. My grandma told me it is just the terrible two's and all little one's have it. Problem is it can last past the age of two!

[stevensmom]

sounds like normal 2 year old behavior

watch out for 3s

[mibarra]

Sounds potentially normal. How do you handle it? Maybe trying a new method could help?

[Made of Fleece]

Originally Posted by BeccaSueCongdon We had him evaluated for sensory issues and he did some OT to help him learn some self regulating skills. You could call around and see if she can be evaluated by your local earl intervention program. It's free and they're required to do an evaluation and provide services if your kid qualifies. They could give you some perspective on what's normal for that age and what tools might serve her if she needs assistance.

OT = occupational therapist? I didn't know they worked with toddlers in that kind of stuff. That actually reminds me, our state has a "first five" program that is free.

Originally Posted by CASMama711 For the most part, that sounds normal for two. The problems in the middle of the night would worry me if they continue, but not if it was an isolated incident. How are her language skills? Toddlers are more likely to tantrum when they're frustrated by not being able to express what they want.

Re: waking at night. This became actually a reguar occurrence lately. And it's usually about 2am'ish. Sometimes it seems like nightmares. Most of the time I can hold her and rock her back to sleep (only me, not dad). But sometimes she's completely inconsolable and we're up til dawn. Her language skills are fine for her age. She signs and chatters a lot. And I can understand that her language lags behind her other developmental capacities, but they are still advanced enough to understand when I say: "no, mirror CAN'T close in half" or "too much in box, CAN'T close cover". It's like she thinks I'm intentially witholding some magical physics-defying feat from her.

Oh and by the way, I'm like 2 weeks from my due date with baby#2 and people say toddlers can get extra clingy. I'm also mostly bed-ridden and can't hold her much, so 50% of her tantrums are "uppy, mommy" (wants to be held, and not just held, but held some distance from the ground, and not just that, but walked as well). It's like she thinks I'm intentionally witholding affection or care.

[Made of Fleece]

Originally Posted by mibarra Sounds potentially normal. How do you handle it? Maybe trying a new method could help?

Everything the "books" suggest: redirecting, suggesting an alternative course of action, ignoring, humor (but not much of that these days), and rationalizing (makes it worse). We've never done "time outs" and she's probably young for that, but I don't think of her behavior as "punishable". Just frustrating, annoying, fruitless, and anything I do is futile.

[*KaiMom*]

Lots and lots and lots of patience! Very normal and I've been through these exact things with all three of mine (currently in the heart of it with my 2 year old). Mom alone time is the biggest thing that helps me. I'm a mess if I can't get away and do someting just for me...it makes it so much easier to deal with them.