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Old 12-11-2012, 09:11 PM   #31
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Re: Does this seem normal or should I get my child checked out?

We absolutely use time out for that sort of behavior and if she followed us out we put up a baby gate. It will only get worse when they new baby arrives and needs to be nipped in the bud now. Two year olds love control and when they don't have it they lose control of themselves. The answer is not to give them more control. That just makes them feel overwhelmed. Give her simple choices and when she starts to have a fit, put her in a designated place to clam down (time out). When she's calm say something short and to the point, "There is no yelling at Mommy." Hugs and its over. Talking too much can restart the cycle. She'll still have fits, but being firm with her will teach her that screaming doesn't get her what she wants.

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Old 12-11-2012, 10:22 PM   #32
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Time outs only work half the time for us. She starts a fit and looks at me and says 'time out?' She doesn't care.

For us, it only works if she's really and truly in need of a quiet space to calm down. But as a 'punishment', it's ineffective.

Ignoring seems to work best here.
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Old 12-11-2012, 10:32 PM   #33
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Re: Does this seem normal or should I get my child checked out?

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Two year olds love control and when they don't have it they lose control of themselves.
Ok, it's not just my DD. I always thought it was the OCD in her. Everything needs to be JUST so with her.

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After a short nap on the way home she was back to her usual sweet self.
Isn't it amazig how just a little bit of unconciousness takes the crankiness out!

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The main thing I find concerning is lack of effectiveness of your discipline methods.
This is my first baby-toddler rearing experience, so I could be doing it AAALL wrong.

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someone at our playgroup decided that they were going to reward my child's tantrum with positive attention! thank you so much! because my strategy of ignoring my child's tantrum was obviously misguided.
I've had complete strangers stop in the middle the sidewalk where DD's rolling around. I'd be a few yards off, waiting for her to follow, but their mediation usually made it worse. I know they mean well, though.
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Old 12-11-2012, 10:38 PM   #34
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Re: Does this seem normal or should I get my child checked out?

Yep, totally normal.
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Old 12-11-2012, 10:49 PM   #35
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Re: Does this seem normal or should I get my child checked out?

I think most of it sounds sort of normal. But, not the waking and screaming from 2:30-6:00 a.m.

Honestly, this sounds more like an uncomfortable child to me. She can't handle normal frustrations because she's not comfortable for some reason. Like if your pants are too tight, or you have a headache that won't go away, it ruins the rest of your day in other areas... maybe she feels like this for her own reasons. Perhaps she's itching, or is having trouble breathing at night. Allergies, anything that could be causing her to feel more frustrated.

She can't plan ahead...so, if she has a 45 minute tantrum, she can't think about "well, i'm wasting this time now, so I can't go play at friend's house". She's just throwing a fit...and that part is pretty normal.

If you ruin something by putting the M in the wrong place.... the world might as well just explode, because it's all destroyed. You did it wrong, and broke everything. I hope you're happy. In 1994, my ex broke my daughter's egg roll so it would cool off.....BIGGEST. FIT. EVER. I'm pretty sure we are still banned from that restaurant. Never break a two yr old's food. "You can have another egg roll" does not work at that point. Daddy ruined the entire world.
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Old 12-12-2012, 12:58 AM   #36
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I've considered that. She screams more when dad tries to pat her back, and does't listen when I talk. I've learned the best thing to do is physically grab her, wake her and restrain her. I say, "mommy and daddy are here. pink bear and yellow bear are here. we're all sleeping together." I ask if she had a "bad dream" but she doesn't respond, she tries to process the word dream, but I don't think she understands it. Is the "treatment" for night terrors different than that for bad dreams?
Someone may have already answered this: night terrors are different than bad dreams. It's a sleep disturbance that they aren't actually conscious for, and waking them out of it can make it scarier for them bc then they're even more disoriented. The best way to handle night terrors is to be close and hold her if she'll let you or just sit near her and talk soothingly, but don't try to wake her. It sucks. :-(

My DS had them during this same time too. He's 4.5 now and still talks a little in his sleep but hasn't had a terror in over a year.
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Old 12-12-2012, 08:57 AM   #37
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Re: Does this seem normal or should I get my child checked out?

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In 1994, my ex broke my daughter's egg roll so it would cool off.....BIGGEST. FIT. EVER. I'm pretty sure we are still banned from that restaurant. Never break a two yr old's food. "You can have another egg roll" does not work at that point. Daddy ruined the entire world.

LOL. We might need a sticky for this. What not to do with 2 year olds. Absolutely, do not break a two year old's food. This includes eggrolls, french fries, hashbrowns, cheese sticks, bananas, oranges.........
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Old 12-12-2012, 09:12 AM   #38
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Re: Does this seem normal or should I get my child checked out?

I forgot to come back and comment on the night terrors. DD had night terrors around 18months for about 2 weeks. I made the mistake of waking her up the first few times before I researched night terrors. I would call DD's name and try to hug her, if she pushed me away, I knew she was still dreaming. I would let her cry it out for about 15 to 20 minutes while I sat right next to her. I swear she woke all our neighbors up every night at 2am for a good 2 weeks. After 15 mintues, DD would like down and ask to nurse like nothing happened. Sometimes, in the middle of the night terror, I could get her to nurse and she would calm down and go right back to sleep.

I also read that if the child has night terrors at preditable times, you could wake them up briefly. I think it worked on DD. By the end of 2 weeks, I was waking up DD and nursing her back to sleep. The house was finally quiet again.
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Old 12-12-2012, 03:19 PM   #39
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Re: Does this seem normal or should I get my child checked out?

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Originally Posted by escapethevillage View Post
Honestly, this sounds more like an uncomfortable child to me. She can't handle normal frustrations because she's not comfortable for some reason. Like if your pants are too tight, or you have a headache that won't go away, it ruins the rest of your day in other areas... maybe she feels like this for her own reasons. Perhaps she's itching, or is having trouble breathing at night. Allergies, anything that could be causing her to feel more frustrated.
That's actually a very astute observation. DD is horribly sensitive about her diaper's fit and comfort or certain dresses she won't wear because they're "itchy" or even the crease on her socks not being aligned just right on her toes before her shoes goes on. She's had a canker sore for the past week, and when I looked in her mouth some more, LO AND BEHOLD, those wicked 2nd MOLARS!! One had broken through and another about to. THAT JUST MIGHT BE IT!

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LOL. We might need a sticky for this. What not to do with 2 year olds. Absolutely, do not break a two year old's food. This includes eggrolls, french fries, hashbrowns, cheese sticks, bananas, oranges.........
The other night, DD (who loves corn on the cob) wouldn't eat her corn because DH (who didn't know any better) took a bite out of it before she did. She pouted and screamed the rest of dinner time and wouldn't eat anything else either.

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Someone may have already answered this: night terrors are different than bad dreams. It's a sleep disturbance that they aren't actually conscious for, and waking them out of it can make it scarier for them bc then they're even more disoriented. The best way to handle night terrors is to be close and hold her if she'll let you or just sit near her and talk soothingly, but don't try to wake her. It sucks. :-(
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I also read that if the child has night terrors at preditable times, you could wake them up briefly.
GOOD info!
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