Hospital vs. Home Birth...PLEASE HELP!!

[chandni3]

Originally Posted by jaelynsmommy61607 I'd never sit 45 min in the car while in labor.

I guess us country folk are just used to long drives. A few friends don't like our hospital in town and so they drive 45 min to an hour to a different one and I did so too on their advice. The hospital I gave birth at was great. My SIL had to drive an hour as that was the closest hospital. My friends who live in the country all have an hour drive. It's not fun, but, what can you do when you live far away and it's worth it to give birth in a place you like. That's why I did it.
If my husband wouldn't agree to a homebirth and I knew the hospital would not give me the type of birth I wanted, I'd make the drive. 45 mins in the car is worth it to me for a birth in a relaxed safe place. I guess others feel differently. I'm sure there are ways you could work it too. Maybe they'd let you come earlier in labour, or maybe you can get a hotel room to hang out in until you're ready to go in. Just saying, it could still be a possibility.

[gingerpeachee]

Yeah, I drive 20 minutes to the grocery store. 10 minutes if I just need milk.....

[RunawayBunny]

Originally Posted by chandni3 Didn't read all the responses but why is 45 mins too far to travel to the birth center? I gave birth at a hospital an hour away from where I live, in November in Canada (I was lucky we didn't have freezing rain until the day after my baby was born) and so have friends. Unless your babies come super duper fast I'd have the baby at the birth center.

I just moved unexpectedly last week, but where I was living a 45 minute drive (with good traffic) is the very closest option for anything besides an unassisted home birth! 45 minutes is nothing to me anymore, too.

[Kiliki]

I agree with others who have said it all boils down to yourr care provider and your own comfort level.

I birthed my first in a hospital. With a "midwife". she was awful. Just awful. The nurses weren't any better. I had a terrible experience, absolutely horrible.

My next two children have been born at home, with experienced midwives. In my state, midwives are licensed and by law, mothers must be low risk. If a mother has certain risk factors and a midwife still attends her birth, she can lose her license. They carry emergency equipment and medicines. I have always been close to a hospital.

If my circumstances were different, i might feel differently. But as of now, I personally,in my current situation, would not ever consider going to a hospital for birth, unless there were a true life threatening emergency. I am also low risk, and have had three previous uncomplicated, normal deliveries.

It is very important to have competent, able, and kind caregivers. Whether they are an OB in a hospital, or a Midwife at home. Be aware of risks, whether it's the risk associated with the epidural, or the risks associated with birthing at home. And be proactive and reasonable. Your caregiver is a human,too. Some tests I would normally decline, I will take for the sake of my caaregiver. Other things for me are non-negotiable. Know where you stand on major issues and why. Research, research, research. And when you make an informed choice that is right for you, own it. It may be something totally different from the route you expected to take, but if you make a choice that is right for you, in your circumstance, with your experiences and your own comfort level, that choice is yours, and that is ok.

[jaelynsmommy61607]

Originally Posted by chandni3 I guess us country folk are just used to long drives. A few friends don't like our hospital in town and so they drive 45 min to an hour to a different one and I did so too on their advice. The hospital I gave birth at was great. My SIL had to drive an hour as that was the closest hospital. My friends who live in the country all have an hour drive. It's not fun, but, what can you do when you live far away and it's worth it to give birth in a place you like. That's why I did it. If my husband wouldn't agree to a homebirth and I knew the hospital would not give me the type of birth I wanted, I'd make the drive. 45 mins in the car is worth it to me for a birth in a relaxed safe place. I guess others feel differently. I'm sure there are ways you could work it too. Maybe they'd let you come earlier in labour, or maybe you can get a hotel room to hang out in until you're ready to go in. Just saying, it could still be a possibility.

I've always lived in the city. I guess some people don't have a choice. I'm not saying tos wrong just something I'd never be able to do.

[Pyrodjm]

I've had two amazing homebirths. I would never choose to give birth anywhere else.

[gingerpeachee]

Originally Posted by raisingcropsandbabies I have to agree with you here. I was very hush hush about my homebirth-gone-bad story for the first 2-3 years of my son's life (not the fact that it happened, but that it was a traumatic homebirth). Covering up mistakes that were made and down-playing it all because A)I didn't want to give homebirth a bad name B)I didn't want to smudge my old midwife's name C)Blame was placed on me D)Many people in the natural community don't like to hear about the risks of similar choices actually happening. It was like the story no one ever wanted to hear, like no one wanted to acknowledge the homebirth that goes wrong, the ones that would have most likely turned out differently had it happened in the hospital. I know another homebirth lady near me who had an even more traumatic birth and she has said the same. It does make one wonder about other homebirths kept quiet or downplayed because of similar reasons (there have been a few recent ones I've faintly heard of in our area... it's all a mystery because it can't be talked about!). After a long journey of 4 years, I started opening up about my homebirth aspect and stopped being apologetic and so dern quiet about it all. Telling it straight (good, bad, and ugly) and not omitting. I hope other trauma-hmamas will do the same in time. It's a process though and a very personal process as well. It made me deal with guilt, with the honest to goodness mistakes I made and the midwife made, and so on, and the brutal truth about how it all affected my son forever. A bigtime, slightly overwhelming (so much easier to be in denial!) process! Sorry to get on a tangent. You just spoke so honestly and I wanted to respond.

I'm glad you are finding yourself more able to talk about it now. I think that the most important thing needed to make home birth safe is for people to accept the risks as a reality and for those involved to be prepared for them.

[~happy2Bamommy~]

I voted "open to both" because I think every women needs to ready her mind for both but try for the option she feels most comfortable with.

I personally have now had 5 home births (well one was in a hotel but pretty much the same process)

There is zero doubt in my mind that, for me personally, laboring and delivering at home is the way to go. I have fast,easy labors. I recover quickly.

We do choose to have a midwife present. I am to the point I don't really need one,or even want one, but I feel that for me having one present is a good choice. I do think that if we have a 6th child I'll ask the midwife to just hangout in the living room and come in if we need her. Kind of like an unassisted but with assistance a few feet away

[cinderella08]

My vote is both because I am supportive of both home and hospital birth. Only truly low-risk (by state and ACOG/ACNM standards) women, with a qualified provider (IMO, only a CNM or OB), within a decent distance from the hospital, and with the parents fully understanding the risks and benefits however.

[TwinKristi]

I'm open to both but have only had hospital births. If your dh isn't open to the option than its hard to really explore, you NEED his support for sure. Maybe with a MW at a hospital and having options like the jacuzzi they'll be a better option for natural childbirth. My MW births were really positive experiences. I've had OBs, MWs and nurses deliver and they were all different. I wouldn't say any were negative experiences though!