Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-14-2012, 02:47 PM   #1
wumblefutz's Avatar
wumblefutz
Registered Users
**~DO NOT FSOT~ File with Paypal asap**
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Sacramento
Posts: 93
My Mood:
Reaching FTT Territory-Pls. help :(

Oh, where do I start? My five month old is my first baby, and never in a million years did I imagine how hard this would be. He was born at a healthy 10lbs, 4 ounces-given formula within the first hour of his life for low glucose and continued on formula for juandice until I could get him nursing. I have large breastS on a narrow frame, so consequently my breast hang rather low-this combined with a large baby made it sooo difficult to poSition him in the early days. Sidelying was really the only way I could get it to work, but then my husband pushed for a bigger bed (we had a double), because he was tired of sleeping on the couch. To make a long story short, I wasn't able to nurse in the new bed (son would roll due to the squishiness of the pillow top), and our breastfeeding relationship began to unravel from there. My son would only nurse for a few seconds at a time due to my oversupply. I worked hard to get my supply in check, but the feeding continued to be problematic--with him only nursing for a few seconds, popping on and off, arching his back when I'd try to feed him, even screaming as soon as I'd drop him down to breast level. None of this helped my prednisone induced post-partum anxiety or depression. I began to dread every feeding. He'd refuse to nurse, scream and cry, and I'm ashamed to say it but I started to resent him. I'd set him down and let him cry for a couple seconds, and then I'd try all over again, knowing all the while that ALL I was going to do was piss him off even more. I had to wait until he was sleepy to eat, and even when then, I was tense the whole time. There were a couple of weeks that were better than others, but my anxiety (unmedicated) was intolerable. Fearing that he could sense my anxiety, I couldn't wait until he was done nursing so that I could sneak away. I honestly thought that he would rest better without me right there, but now I fear that he doesn't trust me. When the nursing was going well, I loved laying in bed with him and being close, but when my anxiety rebounded I suddenly became distant...how could he not feel more than a little insecure about mom's feelings for him.

Jump forward a few months, and it's time for me to go back to work. We had a hell of a time finding a bottle he would take. In my eagerness to see his feedings become easier, I only nursed at night (even though he wasn't eating much from the bottle). In my defense, my husband, therapist, and psychologist were all telling me that in order to get him to take the bottle, I had to stop nursing. The "he'll eat when he's hungry enough" argument.

Once he started on the bottle he would only nurse for one let down and since I still had so much anxiety around it, I started to pump exclusively. So, now we're seeing exactly how much he's eating, which brings us up to date. It isn't enough; he went from the 95th percentile for weight at birth and for ther first two months to the 13th percentile. He's five 1/2 months now and over the course of the last two months has actually lost weight a few times. He's only eating about 12-17 ounces a day and 90% of this is feed to him in his sleep. My HMO sucks and since he hasn't actually lost weight in about a month, they're not really caring-even though he's only gained a couple ounces in the last two months. The pediatrician put him on Zantac even though he deosn't through up, ever, and then on prilosec. But they're refusing a referral to a GI Doctor, saying that testing isn't helpful in babies. They're saying the same thing about allergy testing. He's got really bad exzema on his chest and what I believe are fairly mucousy stools. They did approve a visit to a speech pathologist, but that wan't much help. She said it could be a milk allergy (intolerance--not sure about the difference between the two exactly), it could possibly just be behavoiral, though I didn't go into quite as much detail with her about our rocky start as I have here in this post. She also said it could be something called eosinophilic esophagitis, but my pediatrician doesn't think so, and the speech therapist alone doesn't have any authority to order any specialized testing. I'm at the end of my rope; my kid is miserable. My marriage is falling apart, because my husband is deperately clinging on to the idea that he'll just grow out of it and that as long as I stay calm things will be okay. But our child is barely eating enough to stay alive. If any of this sounds familiar to anyone, I'd love to hear a word of advice. If I had more money I'd go out of network to a pediatric GI doctor to try and find out definitely whether or not he has reflux; again he never spits up and once he actually eats he doesn't seem terribly uncomfortable-he's gassy but aren't most babies? Again, please, help by recommending what you would do if you were me. THANKS

Advertisement

wumblefutz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-14-2012, 03:07 PM   #2
kimb96
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,417
Re: Reaching FTT Territory-Pls. help :(

That is classic reflux symptoms. He needs to be medicated better. There are other medications to try other than zantac and the medicine is weight sensitive. It will need to be adjusted as he gains weight. My son had severe reflux and what you are describing is exactly what happened in our house. Once he is medicated better to where it doesn't hurt him to eat, he will eat better. I'd take him to a different doctor. Push for a GI referral as they are better at managing the medications. My son was on an adult dose of reflux medications. My son was miserable until he was on a good medication. He still puked all the time and feeding could be tricky but he was a truly happy baby.

Just because he isn't throwing up doesn't mean he isn't refluxing. It could have silent reflux where the food goes up and down his esophagus but he doesn't throw it up. It's actually more painful because the acid burns on the way up and the way down. Reflux babies do tend to be gassy because the valve at the top of the stomach does not close properly, allowing the food to come back up and air to go in.

Some things to try in the meantime. Don't feed more than 3-4 oz at a time. The more he eats, he more he will reflux. Smaller more frequent feedings are better. Keep him upright for 30-45 minutes after meals. He will probably sleep better upright as well. Ds slept in his carseat.

ETA at the risk of being flamed off the board, you may want to stop nursing and get on some antidepressants. I quit nursing due to severe post partum depression and started antidepressants. You are overwhelmed. Breastfeeding is best but sometimes having a healthy, sane mom is what is best for everyone. Hang in there. Switch doctors and do what is necessary to get someone to pay attention. Reflux is manageable and it will get better once he is properly medicated. Feel free to pm me. I've been exactly where you are.
__________________
Kim

Mama to Ethan

Last edited by kimb96; 12-14-2012 at 03:12 PM.
kimb96 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-14-2012, 03:36 PM   #3
Mom2jandb's Avatar
Mom2jandb
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,963
Hugs mama! Big hugs!

Like you, I am only comfortable nursing lying down in bed. Like you, my master bed is too soft/pillowy for baby. With my first baby, I found the solution was to do all of our nursing and sleeping on the guest bed which is firmer. For my second baby I am also doing all of our nursing and sleeping on her own full size mattress. If you want to continue your nursing relationship I recommend sleeping in a firmer bed, or nurse on a mat on the floor if another bed just isn't an option. Once I let go of the idea that I had to share a bed with DH, it got much easier!

From what you describe, it sounds to me like your baby is sensitive to what's in your milk and his formula (dairy, soy, etc). I have some experience with this! Your LO needs some hypoallergenic breastmilk or formula. Reflux is a symptom of this, so if he has that as well, a cleaner diet will fix it. The gas and poops you describe sound classic allergy/sensitivity. You can find lots of info/support on this in the breastfeeding and formula feeding forums. My first choice is breastmilk . FWIW, my YDD who struggles the most with food sensitivities went from being a terrible nurser exactly as you described to being a great nurser when the milk stopped hurting her tummy. She used to only nurse for a few seconds at a time, getting most of her milk during sleep. Now she's good, when she isn't trying to do headstands while nursing (7 mos).

My over active letdown also played a big role. Block nursing helped, and eventually my supply regulated (around 3 months?). It seems like a lot of mamas and babies struggle with this, from what I can tell.

It's not true that a hungry enough baby will take the bottle. If that advice from others doesn't sound right to you, don't follow it. I don't have any bottle feeding suggestions for you though.

Based on what sounds familiar to me, I highly recommend hypoallergenic food for your baby and a firmer bed for you to nurse and sleep.

I hope you find your answers, and thanks for reaching out to us!
Mom2jandb is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-14-2012, 04:05 PM   #4
myclanof6's Avatar
myclanof6
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: In the land of Oz
Posts: 2,424
Hugs mama!
While I am very pro-bf, I am more pro-healthy mom and baby. If that means not breast feeding and putting him on formula then so be it. I'm not sure on the reflux thing, it could be silent like pp mentioned. If it is a milk intolerance then he may need to be on soy or Nutramagin (sp?) to help with that.
Formula isn't evil. It has a place. If you need your meds to be able to enjoy your son then you need to do what's best for both of you.
If you want to try to continue breastfeeding then how about going to a LLL meeting and talking to those women about your issues? They would be able to help you figure out what he may be reacting to in your diet and maybe help you figure out if his symptoms are because of the intolerance or something else.
Sorry if this seems jumbled. :/ I have a cold and my head is foggy and thoughts are a little scrambled.
__________________
I lift my eyes unto the hills, Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, The Maker of Heaven and Earth. And I'll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands, For You are who You are no matter where I am, And every tear I've cried You hold in Your hand, You never left my side and though my heart is torn, I will praise You in this storm
myclanof6 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-15-2012, 08:47 AM   #5
jen_batten's Avatar
jen_batten
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,616
Re: Reaching FTT Territory-Pls. help :(

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2jandb View Post
Hugs mama! Big hugs!

Like you, I am only comfortable nursing lying down in bed. Like you, my master bed is too soft/pillowy for baby. With my first baby, I found the solution was to do all of our nursing and sleeping on the guest bed which is firmer. For my second baby I am also doing all of our nursing and sleeping on her own full size mattress. If you want to continue your nursing relationship I recommend sleeping in a firmer bed, or nurse on a mat on the floor if another bed just isn't an option. Once I let go of the idea that I had to share a bed with DH, it got much easier!

From what you describe, it sounds to me like your baby is sensitive to what's in your milk and his formula (dairy, soy, etc). I have some experience with this! Your LO needs some hypoallergenic breastmilk or formula. Reflux is a symptom of this, so if he has that as well, a cleaner diet will fix it. The gas and poops you describe sound classic allergy/sensitivity. You can find lots of info/support on this in the breastfeeding and formula feeding forums. My first choice is breastmilk . FWIW, my YDD who struggles the most with food sensitivities went from being a terrible nurser exactly as you described to being a great nurser when the milk stopped hurting her tummy. She used to only nurse for a few seconds at a time, getting most of her milk during sleep. Now she's good, when she isn't trying to do headstands while nursing (7 mos).

My over active letdown also played a big role. Block nursing helped, and eventually my supply regulated (around 3 months?). It seems like a lot of mamas and babies struggle with this, from what I can tell.

It's not true that a hungry enough baby will take the bottle. If that advice from others doesn't sound right to you, don't follow it. I don't have any bottle feeding suggestions for you though.

Based on what sounds familiar to me, I highly recommend hypoallergenic food for your baby and a firmer bed for you to nurse and sleep.

I hope you find your answers, and thanks for reaching out to us!
I agree with all of this. The excema, mucusy stools, gassiness, and nursing trouble/refusal to eat scream food allergies/intolerances to me. If you are wanting to continue to nurse, I would put myself on an allergy free diet for a few weeks. No dairy, soy, gluten, ect. See how he reacts, and if his eating improves. I bet his skin will clear up, he will nurse better, and his stools will regulate. Then you could reintroduce foods to your diet one at a time to see how he reacts. If he has trouble with any foods steer clear of those until after he is weaned.

If you don't think you can continue nursing, I'd get him on an allergy free formula pronto. I wouldn't wait for testing because that can take a while and he needs help now. What can it hurt?
jen_batten is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-15-2012, 10:22 AM   #6
c&w's mama
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,984
Re: Reaching FTT Territory-Pls. help :(

dear mama

sorry to post with no information or ideas, but wanted to offer moral support.
__________________
a happy mama with
thanks DH
Will almost always trade for yarn (vanilla. peppermint.)
c&w's mama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-15-2012, 11:08 AM   #7
songbird516's Avatar
songbird516
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 6,164
My Mood:
Re: Reaching FTT Territory-Pls. help :(

I agree that it might be good to try eliminating soy,,Processed dairy, and GMO foods. Also you can supplement yourself and the baby with probiotics. If that doesn't change anything, you might look up the WAPF for homemade formula and read some testimonials. I would never feed my baby soy formula unless there was literally NO other option.
__________________
Sara- mommy to Claire (01/10) and Micah (3/12) and someone new (10/14)
Birth doula and life-long student of Everything! Need a doula in the central VA area? Let's talk! www.beyondbirthsupport.com
songbird516 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-15-2012, 11:16 AM   #8
christi2705's Avatar
christi2705
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 946
The mucousy stools and eczema tend to make me think a milk protein allergy. I highly suggest a ped GI doctor. But if you can't get in then I would trial Alimentum and see how that works. Also see if your ped will at least order some stool samples.
__________________
Mom to Emma (10/04) and Hannah (4/07)
christi2705 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-15-2012, 01:56 PM   #9
KatieB621's Avatar
KatieB621
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Claxton, GA
Posts: 1,971
My Mood:
Re: Reaching FTT Territory-Pls. help :(

We had many of the same issues with my DS. Even in the hospital we had issues with bf. We worked through the actual physical problems (I have an inverted nip and he had difficulty with his latch), so I thought things were going to get better. For the first 3 months he did NOTHING but cry. Day and night.....no naps....latch on and then latch off few seconds later. They treated him for reflux and it helped some, but he still was crying all the time. Eventually after 3 weeks of non-stop crying I'd had my fill and called the PED. I took him in the next day and they took a stool sample. Turns out he was allergic to milk. I didn't understand how he could be allergic to milk when breast milk was supposed to be the best for my baby! I learned, after that, that if the mama consumes too much dairy and the baby has an allergy to whey or caisen then they will develop GI problems. DS's intestines were actually bleeding by the time we caught it.

I wanted to continue to breastfeed, so I went completely dairy free. It was amazing how fast we saw results!!! Within a few days he stopped crying, almost completely. His eczema, which was so bad that we had to use the strongest Rx topical cream his PED would give us suddenly began to fade and eventually disappeared. His stools were very resmebled mucus before, and suddenly they changed for the better.

I wish I could say our journey ended there, but it didn't. After 3 more months of breastfeeding, we began having issues with his weight as well. DS was always small (6 lbs. 10 oz. at birth at 38 1/2 weeks), but he was on the growth charts. Between his 4 m and 6 m. appointments he failed to gain 1 lb. He ganed a few ounces, but that was it. We found out that my milk, before going dairy free, was pretty lean. There wasn't much fat in it at all, but after I cut out the dairy out of my diet it became even more leaner. He was getting a milk that did not contain enough calories for him to gain weight. This was when I finally bit the metaphorical bullet and put him on the bottle.

Soon after switching him to a soy formula, he did begin to gain weight. He's still very small for his age (12 m. and he weighs 17 lbs. 11.5 oz), but he's making much more progress than he was. My advice would be to look into the possiblilty of a milk allergy. Lactose intolerance is when the body fails to produce the enzyme needed to break down the fat in milk (lactose). With a milk allergy, the individual is allergic to the actual protein that is in milk (Whey and Caisen). You an have an allergy to one or both of the proteins. There are many products on the market for lactose intolerance, but options are much more limited when there is a milk allergy. Milk can also be hidden in many products, such as bread, condensed soups, and boxed mixes. If your baby has a milk allergy, if you ingest any of these things that have milk, whey, or caisen listed as an ingred. then you are basically hurting him with your breastmilk.

Hope that you find answers soon for you LO!
__________________
~Katie B.~
Devoted wife of Cory , SAHM to Sadie (8/12/10), Eli (11/24/11) , Mollyann (8/21/13) and waiting to meet 2 Children God is keeping for us until we get there
KatieB621 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-16-2012, 07:55 PM   #10
CASMama711's Avatar
CASMama711
Registered Users
Formerly: chmom77
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 2,195
Re: Reaching FTT Territory-Pls. help :(



This definitely sounds like silent reflux and/or an allergy. That, combined with the way you're feeling, lead me to recommend that you stop nursing and get him on a hypoallergic formula ASAP (not a soy formula; they're not the the same thing). I would also find a new ped who will order more testing. If you feel that your DS's life is in danger, consider taking him to a pediatric hospital ER and get them to evaluate him.
__________________
Christian WOHMama to DD1 7/07 and twins DD2 and DS 11/11
CASMama711 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.