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Old 12-26-2012, 12:58 PM   #31
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Great ideas, but I wanted to agree that there is nothing wrong with declining if you feel that it will be stressful to be a bridesmaid.

My good friend had just had twins right before I got married. She chose to be an "honorary bridesmaid." She was invited to all the girly events, included in some but not all of the pictures, wore a coordinating dress of her choice, and incuded in the program. She also gave a toast. She didn't have to worry about walking in the ceremony or stepping out when needed, but she was still part of my special day. So maybe there is a compromise somewhere there.

People who haven't had newborns (or had easy newborns and pp experiences), don't always get it. Don't feel bad about standing up for what you and your baby will need.

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Old 12-26-2012, 01:50 PM   #32
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Re: Bridesmaid while breastfeeding - am I stressing for nothing.

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I don't think you're overreacting, either. I would absolutely refuse if I couldn't wear a dress with straps - I was a 32F after having my son, so NOTHING strapless was happening, much less a formal dress.

I *went* to a wedding with my son when he was 8 weeks old. The wedding was at the end of July, and I ended up trekking around carting him, sweating my butt off, missing half of everything because of nursing, etc. No way could I have actually participated in the ceremony and other wedding activities that took place ALL DAY and into the evening. Especially without a nice, supportive nursing bra with straps. Hehe

I think she can be considerate of you and your newborn and find a way around absolutely having to have all of her bridesmaids in strapless dresses. If not, oh well. Pick another bridesmaid, then. JMO.


I agree, you're not being melodramatic. I've been a bridesmaid in two weddings while NOT pregnant/nursing and it was a pain in the butt, not to mention stressful. I have a wedding to attend in a few weeks with my 3 month old and I'm dreading that too. He eats on demand and is super grouchy around crowds. He's okay with daddy, but needs to be carried and comforted when he's out and about, which makes it difficult in a wedding atmosphere. I couldn't imagine having to feed him, keep him calm, participate in wedding activities, and not look like a hurricane hit me with milk dripping everywhere (I have to change my nursing pads every hour or it's a mess) and my dress all raggedy from pulling it up/down/up/down at EVERY feeding. If it's stressing you out this much, it's really not worth it. It's her day, I understand that, but for your sanity and nerves, do what feels right for you. Good luck!
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Old 12-27-2012, 01:57 AM   #33
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Re: Bridesmaid while breastfeeding - am I stressing for nothing.

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Even your brothers wedding??? I would think hopefully your DH could step out of baby was fussy? I'd talk to the bride/groom. See if a solution can happen before bowing out. It's your brother!!!
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This is me actually :/ I'm going to
Michigan from Cali in July with 3 kids. 6,4,7 months. Just to make it my brothers wedding. I have to go. It's something I could never imagine missing. But my siblings and I are terribly close. And we are all dying to see the new nieces/nephews so it's a family reunion as well. Idk. I never even thought of but being in my sisters wedding 5 weeks postpartum. It worked out just fine. I however never even considered not doing it. Since you are hesitant, op, perhaps reading your own inner emotions is best.

I feel this way and understand that not everyone does.

Personally, I would have been broken-hearted not to be in my brother's wedding. On the other hand, if being there in support in other ways is what you need, then talk to them they will understand you want what's best for all to celebrate. No one wants to add stress to the situation- and I'm sure having you there-- in a capacity that makes you comfortable-- is what's important to them as well.
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Old 12-27-2012, 02:00 AM   #34
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Re: Bridesmaid while breastfeeding - am I stressing for nothing.

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Great ideas, but I wanted to agree that there is nothing wrong with declining if you feel that it will be stressful to be a bridesmaid.

My good friend had just had twins right before I got married. She chose to be an "honorary bridesmaid." She was invited to all the girly events, included in some but not all of the pictures, wore a coordinating dress of her choice, and incuded in the program. She also gave a toast. She didn't have to worry about walking in the ceremony or stepping out when needed, but she was still part of my special day. So maybe there is a compromise somewhere there.

People who haven't had newborns (or had easy newborns and pp experiences), don't always get it. Don't feel bad about standing up for what you and your baby will need.

like this.
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Old 12-29-2012, 08:51 AM   #35
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Re: Bridesmaid while breastfeeding - am I stressing for nothing.

I decided to decline. It was really stressing me out. I could wind up with a great baby and it be a breeze but I could also have a cranky baby and that would make everything hard. Even with my husband and mother's help I know my daughter will want me all the time and only I can feed the baby. Plus I don't want to be flashing everyone everytime I bend down to my toddler. And it'll save my mom money on a dress. My to be SIL was nice about it but disappointed, she said she'll have me in the wedding some other way and my daughter will still be in it of course. I'm so much more relaxed and now I can enjoy the wedding. I'll find a nice dress or skirt and top that lets me nurse discreetly and I use a cover too so I don't have to be alone in a some other room all the time. And I won't have to spend the whole day getting ready, I can be home, make sure my daughter gets a nap and I can get her ready and all dressed up (not sure daddy would be able to get her ready right. He has trouble with just cloth diapers.) Thanks for all your support and advice.
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Old 12-29-2012, 11:19 AM   #36
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Good for you, Mama, you sound so relieved. Hope it all goes well!
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Old 12-29-2012, 02:26 PM   #37
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Re: Bridesmaid while breastfeeding - am I stressing for nothing.

I have taken both of my children to weddings when they were 8 weeks old! I don't think that I could wear a strapless bra at 8 weeks pp; I'd definitely sew straps on. I like the idea of a ring sling, also. They look elegant and can be made to match anything. I was a bridesmaid when my daughter was 15 months and still nursing, and I wore a dress that had been strapless that I sewed straps to. It wasn't a problem. I would never pump for someone else's wedding, personally. Especially not for an 8 week old. I would wear the baby any time I could outside of the ceremony and pictures.
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Old 12-29-2012, 05:47 PM   #38
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Re: Bridesmaid while breastfeeding - am I stressing for nothing.

Congrats on making a decision : P. I'm glad you and your husband were able to think through what is best for ya'll...and that your sil understood. Enjoy the wedding!
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Old 01-01-2013, 05:29 PM   #39
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Re: Bridesmaid while breastfeeding - am I stressing for nothing.

ETA: Oops, just saw your decision to decline. I'm glad that you were able to work things out and your SIL understood. Enjoy the wedding!

Try to relax. I know it's stressful thinking about how everything will work out but it'll be okay. Mikayla (YDD) was 6-8 weeks old when my youngest brother got married. I was one of the bridesmaids and it was also a sweetheart neckline strapless dress. My ODD (2.5 yo at the time) was the flower girl. So it was a very similar situation. Thankfully the church had a nursery that I visited as needed. I also had a ring sling and a nursing cover so I used all three options as needed. My mom, dad, and uncle were all available to help at various times through the wedding, along with my husband. Have a few people lined up to help with your babies during the wedding and reception so you can just help as needed but they can provide primary care so you can focus on what you need to do as a bridesmaid. The great thing about a strapless dress is that you can easily pull your breast out and feed baby. A ring sling or a cover is a great way to feed baby without showing anything. I definitely recommend buying or making a nice ring sling to match your dress. It will be totally worth it during the reception! Make sure your family members know that you will need help with baby and ODD during the wedding and reception! As far as fittings, I just went by my dress size pre-pregnancy and got a size larger. Once baby was born and I'd had a couple weeks to recuperate, I went in for a fitting and they altered the dress to fit (I was somewhere between my pre-pregnancy size and the size ordered. With a little altering it fit great and was ready for the wedding. I did have to pay a rush fee for the alterations since it was so close to when I needed it but it all worked out well. Try not to stress about it. Just get a nursing cover and a ring sling and everything will be fine!
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Old 01-01-2013, 11:22 PM   #40
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Re: Bridesmaid while breastfeeding - am I stressing for nothing.



enjoy the wedding!
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