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Old 12-29-2012, 09:02 PM   #61
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We've been very fortunate to not have to go any lengths for be to be able to be a SAHM. But what makes me even happier is that my husband (who I would consider a little materialistic) has agreed that we would be willing to go any length necessary for us to be the ones raising our children.

I remember in a highschool class we were going around introducing ourselves and we were suppose to say what we wanted to be when we grew up. I said I wanted to be a SAHM and I think half the class were unable to get their jaws back off the floor. Lol.


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Old 12-30-2012, 09:10 PM   #62
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Re: What Lengths Have You/Would You Go To To Stay Home?

Honestly we got pregnant while I was still in college and had never really had a job so it wasn't hard to get by without me working. We don't live in the nicest apartment ever but we're looking to move soon. DH got a much, much better job so we can afford rent, all our bills plus whatever little extras we want in a month. We don't eat out at fancy places, and only vacation to see family a couple times a year but that's fine by us. I would move heaven and earth to stay home with my son, the thought of a stranger watching him actually gives me panic attacks.
Mercedes-, babywearing, extend rear-facing, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, happy mama just trying to do my best for my sweet little Jack (12/2/11)
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Old 12-30-2012, 09:29 PM   #63
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Re: What Lengths Have You/Would You Go To To Stay Home?

Such great discussions. I had never planned to be a sahm. Both my parents woh. When I had #2 I did consider being a sahm. My ex and I couldn't come to an agreement at all on lifestyle changes. I had actually saved quite a bit and wanted to use it up with the intention of going back to work when they were school-aged. It didn't happen and my ex left a few months later so I guess it was good that I kept my job.

I've been single the last 6 years so being a sahm wasn't an option. Now that I'm getting married it would be but they are all in school. I'm also lucky to have a job with an awesome work schedule.
Suzi, working mama to my ODS(2004) , YDS(2006), DSD(2004) and married to the love of my life
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Old 12-31-2012, 06:49 AM   #64
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I'm subbing so I can read through this after I wake up (just got home - I work midnights).

I've never worked full time in the 8 years dh and I have been married. A couple part time jobs from time to time just because but that's it. I've been working full time for about six months now. It's not bad since one boy is in school during the day and the other boy is in school half the day. But now with the baby due in the next two weeks I'm really dreading going back to work. We have only one vehicle payment, no house payment/rent and no credit card debt/student loans. The money that I've been bringing home has been 'play' money. We've paid a few bills with it, bought groceries but really haven't done anything productive with it like I wanted to. It's been nice having the money so we've just had fun with it. Without going crazy.

Here's my dilemma. I'll be working five days a week (8 hour shifts) on midnights. Dh will be home with the kids at night. I'll need a sitter for two kids five days a week while I sleep from 730-3-30 (sometimes til 530). So by the time it's all said and done i think I'll being home around $400/month. That's cash we could use for fixing the house up (some things desperately need to be done), savings for an emergency fund/kids savings/ vacation money...

BUT that means less time with the baby since she will be at the sitters. I'll still be spending more time with her working midnights as opposed to days (if you don't count sleeping time) but its still time missed.

We like nice things but we don't have to have them. I love thrifting, getting good deals and what not. But at the same time I don't want to live the ghetto lifestyle...does that make sense without being ugly?!

Ugh. I just can't decide what to do. I'll have to come back and see what everyone has said before me!
~Tyra~ mom to 2
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I now blog HERE!
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Old 12-31-2012, 02:48 PM   #65
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Re: What Lengths Have You/Would You Go To To Stay Home?

I would do pretty much anything to SAH. Unfortunately, right now, I can't, because I have the only income. Dh is the SAHD. He has a lot of cards stacked against him to find employment, but he is working through those obstacles so eventually we can hopefully switch positions. I seriously doubt we will ever be a 2 parent working household unless all the kids are in full time school. If I can't be home, then I want dh to be (besides if he wasn't home then I couldn't have him bring me the babies to work every day). But to answer the question, I would go to any lengths possible to SAH. Working on it
Natasha: Mom to toddlers and tweens and everything in between.
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Old 12-31-2012, 08:25 PM   #66
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Re: What Lengths Have You/Would You Go To To Stay Home?

When I got PG with DS, we made $200k. $30k from DH. The rest from me. If the incomes were reversed, I'd have stayed home in a heartbeat even if we lost half that income (we'd have been able to still pay our bills though it would have been very tight).

Now, DH is back in college finishing his engineering degree and I am the sole provider. Not a chance in hades I'd get to be a SAHM regardless of the sacrifice.

I work from home for the most part, but I have an intense job so the kids still go to day care. We picked a day care where we knew the people running so we lucked out. The kids aren't taken care of by strangers. That made the decision much easier and there have been a variety of pluses that were a surprise, but nice indeed.

Most people who can figure this out do it because the wife/woman isn't making anywhere near what her DH/SO makes. At least that is what I read here most often.

Plus for those of us who are older when we marry/have a family, we usually already have responsibilities and mortgages. It is one thing to start off life this way (choosing not to use the earning potential of one parent). It is a whole other to divest from a previous life and start anew. Not that it isn't possible, but how each couple strikes the balance that works best for them is idiosyncratic.

My hat's off to you though who figure it out, make it work, and make it last. My parents chose to have my dad work FT during the days and my mom worked FT on graveyard shift. It seems to me if one income won't work, finding a way to do this makes the next most sense.

Good luck to you.
Yvonne (45), WAHM, , DH (39) , RJ (5yrs) , VL (4yrs) , RH (EDD 7/15/14)

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Old 12-31-2012, 08:54 PM   #67
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Re: What Lengths Have You/Would You Go To To Stay Home?

It wouldn't make sense for me to woh honestly. There's no job even with a degree that would cover daycare for 3 kids in this city. Even IF I could, I wouldn't. I love the freedom and flexibility of sah and homeschooling our kids.
Erin- Helpmeet to David, Deaf. Reformed Christian. Homeschooling. SAHM to 5 on earth, 3 in eternity and currently in the family way! Edd July 2014! Grow baby grow!
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Old 12-31-2012, 08:56 PM   #68
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I never thought I'd want to stay at home, but now I'd love to. I work 3 days out of the house, it isn't too much, but it does make for some busy days. But, I get to bring the kids to their grandparents to be watched, and a different grandparent watches them each day I work. If it wasn't family, dh and I would strongly reconsider. The main reason I work is for health insurance. We had private for a while, but costs kept rising. Dh doesn't have the option for health insurance from his job. However, we also have some property and animals, and I love that my kids get to grow up out here.
Now we're homeschooling our oldest in Kindy, and need to figure out what to do this next year. I'd love to keep homeschooling, but we'll see where we end up.
Jesus lover wife to T . Mama to A (6) , K (4) , and J (1) , with another baby girl on the way (May) !
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Old 12-31-2012, 09:15 PM   #69
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I could earn three times what dh does and we could probably swing free child care if we wanted to, but this is what we wanted for our family.
Emma H&T Mama to Faolan 6/7/12 & Malachy 1/29/14
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Old 01-01-2013, 12:39 AM   #70
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Re: What Lengths Have You/Would You Go To To Stay Home?

Originally Posted by aries416 View Post
My DH would really like me to go back to school (my education degree is essentially worthless now) once the kids are in school, but I would like to stay home/work part time until they are out of the house ideally. I feel like we'll be even busier when they're in school with activities and such.
I think this is totally true. My dd's are 8 and 3 and I'm actually feeling like it's more important for me to find a way to be home when they are older than even it is now. I can't send a 13yr old to daycare but I sure don't want her going home alone every day at 3pm. And even now I'm always having to say no to all kinds of activities because I'm just not able to get her to them.
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