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Old 12-28-2012, 04:55 PM   #11
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Re: never learning to nurse discreetly?

Maybe she isn't comfortable with people seeing AND she can't do it very well. That is my combo. I have learned over the years and children not to care who sees my breasts when I'm nursing my babies, but it took me at least 3 kids to get that way. Also, I still don't want a man I know seeing if I can help it. I don't care that much, but I avoid it. If I don't know him, I don't care. I couldn't care less if a woman sees my entire breast while I'm nursing, no matter who the woman is. But, I didn't used to feel that way when I was new to nursing.

Anyway, if she expresses a desire to learn, by all means, help her. Or if you are good enough friends you could say something like, "Have you ever tried using a cover?" If not, just leave it alone.

(Oh and my husband would leave too.)

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Old 12-28-2012, 04:55 PM   #12
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Re: never learning to nurse discreetly?

I'm not saying it bothers me at all.. This thread is NOT ABOUT THAT!!! My husband chooses not to look. He's respectful. That isn't childish. And I certainly doing go staring at her breast, no matter if she whips the entire thing out.

The issue here is that my friend will not nurse in public because she I guess hasn't figured out to nurse discreetly. I was wondering if I should offer to HELP her. Geesh people. This isn't about bashign her. This isn't about bashing me. While I may not agree with it, if she felt comfortable enough to just whip it out in public and feed, those rights are protected and I would j ust keep my thoughts to myself. But since my friend won't nurse in public, I just thought that if maybe I showed her how to be more discreet it woudln't be such an issue anymore. Sorry, I'm frustrated that this thread is turning into the "don't like it don't look!!!" mentality when that's not what its about.
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Old 12-28-2012, 04:59 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by crunch!910

I can understand the issues of having really large breasts that can make it impossible or near impossible to nurse discreetly.. I just don't quite understand why she doesn't choose to nurse more discreetly when she's obviously not comfortable with others seeing her breasts when she's nursing.
If you understand how hard it is to nurse with large breasts then you realize that she isn't choosing to bear all she's doing what she can to keep nursing her baby. Honestly you sound very judgmental, this quote along with the whole she wants to wean ASAP (which was not called for or needed in the post) Just really rubs me the wrong way.
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Old 12-28-2012, 05:01 PM   #14
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Just curious op but do you have extra large breasts?
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Old 12-28-2012, 05:08 PM   #15
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Re: never learning to nurse discreetly?

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Originally Posted by kaia.aline View Post
If you understand how hard it is to nurse with large breasts then you realize that she isn't choosing to bear all she's doing what she can to keep nursing her baby. Honestly you sound very judgmental, this quote along with the whole she wants to wean ASAP (which was not called for or needed in the post) Just really rubs me the wrong way.
Why would you assume that he has very large breasts? As far as breast size, we are very similar in size.

I was saying I wanted to be sensitive and that I didn't want to make a comment that would make her even more self conscious, especially if it'd just increase the chances of her weaning early. How in the world is wanting to be sensitive and helpful "judgmental?"
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Old 12-28-2012, 05:13 PM   #16
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Re: never learning to nurse discreetly?

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Gah, I wish I could nurse discreetly. I somehow missed that lesson. My dd is 11 months old and I still use a cover or go int the other room in front of my brother. (for his sake, not mine). I have DDDD breasts and I still have to support my breast for dd to be able to breathe and nurse at the same time. Maybe it is just the way she is built? I honestly wouldn't worry about it unless she asks.
My large breasts comment was not regarding my friend, but in response to this person. Sorry for not quoting.
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Old 12-28-2012, 05:16 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by crunch!910
Why would you assume that he has very large breasts? As far as breast size, we are very similar in size.

I was saying I wanted to be sensitive and that I didn't want to make a comment that would make her even more self conscious, especially if it'd just increase the chances of her weaning early. How in the world is wanting to be sensitive and helpful "judgmental?"
Bc of the post I quoted where you were talking about understanding the difficulties of large breasts, it made it seem as though your friend had large breasts
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Old 12-28-2012, 05:18 PM   #18
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Re: never learning to nurse discreetly?

I don't think you are being judgemental, but I don't know if there is a gentle way to suggest more discreet nursing without risking hurting her feelings or making her more self conscious. In regards to the "if it bothers you don't look" comment I was referring to how *I* feel about personally NIP and the potential looks I get for choosing to not use a cover, but recognize some women feel differently.
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Old 12-28-2012, 05:19 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by crunch!910
because she's not overly committed to breastfeeding and I feel like it'd just be one more reason for her to wean early (baby has no teeth yet, but she keeps saying as soon as he has teeth, she's weaning). But then again, she sees me nursing showing nothing all the time, and has never attempted to mimic?.
This was the other part I felt was judgmental
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Old 12-28-2012, 05:21 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by ktmelody
Who cares? Is there a rule that someone has to nurse a certain way? No, and why does your husband have to leave the room? Surely he is a grown man who can handle seeing a boob. I don't know just seems childish to me, there should be no shame in nursing however a mother chooses.

I would keep my mouth shut.
I wouldn't say anything either. Weaning aside, it could make her feel self conscious. Even if you're close to the same size, they might not be in the same 'condition.' Genetics are mean to some of us.

Quote:
Originally Posted by slyeates
Gah, I wish I could nurse discreetly. I somehow missed that lesson. My dd is 11 months old and I still use a cover or go int the other room in front of my brother. (for his sake, not mine). I have DDDD breasts and I still have to support my breast for dd to be able to breathe and nurse at the same time. Maybe it is just the way she is built? I honestly wouldn't worry about it unless she asks.
Same here. Mine are big, and they are heavy. So they point down, instead of forward. It's sexay, lemme tell you. If you have boobs that point down, you have to hold the thing up with one hand. It's inherently indiscreet.
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