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Old 12-30-2012, 09:19 AM   #41
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Re: never learning to nurse discreetly?

I think there are people that have no desire to ever NIP. I was with a friend last night and her new baby and she took the baby into another room to nurse and said that she wants to be able to pump for bottles when out. To me, that just sounds like way more work than necessary, but it's not my life.

As for the modest nursing, I NIP all the time. Yes, even my big 2 yr old still. No one knows because I cover well. Some people get so used to a system because it works that they don't want to change it, or they are afraid to change it. I was like that with my first. She was older before I felt like I could confidently nurse her discreetly with no cover. I see this as really a different strokes for different folks thing and I would only mention it if she asks. Or, maybe make a comment while you are nursing like, "I'm so glad I figured out how to nurse like this. It bothered me so much when I had to expose everything." Something like that.

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Old 12-30-2012, 09:19 AM   #42
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Re: never learning to nurse discreetly?

I think there are people that have no desire to ever NIP. I was with a friend last night and her new baby and she took the baby into another room to nurse and said that she wants to be able to pump for bottles when out. To me, that just sounds like way more work than necessary, but it's not my life.

As for the modest nursing, I NIP all the time. Yes, even my big 2 yr old still. No one knows because I cover well. Some people get so used to a system because it works that they don't want to change it, or they are afraid to change it. I was like that with my first. She was older before I felt like I could confidently nurse her discreetly with no cover. I see this as really a different strokes for different folks thing and I would only mention it if she asks. Or, maybe make a comment while you are nursing like, "I'm so glad I figured out how to nurse like this. It bothered me so much when I had to expose everything." Something like that.
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Old 12-30-2012, 03:20 PM   #43
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Re: never learning to nurse discreetly?

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Originally Posted by ulawolf View Post
If you feel she doesn't know better than say something and take whatever resp
onse she has in stride. And so what if she's not comfortable nursing in public? I rarely nurse in public. I hate it. Also I have large breasts and have to hold my breast also. Maybe she won't be able to nurse very discreetly. It sounds like she is comfortable nursing in front of you and your dh. Though I except your dh is uncomfortable? So we would be more comfortable if she was more disceet?
I'm sorry, I thought in my replies I made it quite clear that I'm concerned with how SHE feels. There's nothing wrong with if she never ever wants to NIP and would rather pump ahead of time. I wouldn't, but as long as she's providing breastmilk, I have no beef with that. I also thought I made it clear that it is SHE that doesn't like to nurse in front of others. She is not comfortable nursing in front of my DH. She IS comfortable nursing in front of me. Yes, if she were comfortable enough to whip it out and not be bothered to nurse in front of my DH, my DH would choose to look away and/or leave the room, but that is not what this thread is about.

Thank you for those that offered helpful examples of how to bring it up without shaming her or making her more insecure. A mutual friend of ours just had a super long status and fight following that by several others on the topic of nursing in public. Next time we talk, I can bring that up and see more how she feels and gage whether or not she wants tips to be able to nurse in public or nurse more discreetly. If she doesn't, that's no chip off my shoulder. Like I said, I wanted to help. If she doesn't need help, great! I'm just glad and proud she's breastfed this long.
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Old 12-30-2012, 05:04 PM   #44
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Good luck mama! I think it's great you're supporting another mama in her bf journey
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Old 01-04-2013, 03:30 PM   #45
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Re: never learning to nurse discreetly?

Discrete nursing? What's that?! Seriously, my cup runneth WAY over and I still need two hands to nurse without suffocating my kiddo so discrete doesn't work for me. Re: your friend, if she's not overly committed to nursing anyhow, she may get defensive before anything else. =/
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Old 01-04-2013, 06:27 PM   #46
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Re: never learning to nurse discreetly?

I've got to say, I'm an extremely modest person, but with DD I've basically just had to get over it. She will not nurse with a cover or my shirt on her face. She will scream bloody murder and not latch until the cover comes off. She needs to be able to see me. DS never did that. DD is also very nosy! She latches and unlatches to look around in one feeding more times than I can count. So I try my best to find a discrete place to nurse, but at the end of the day my daughter needs to eat so my values of modesty are basically thrown out the window. I try to just make eye contact with DD and block everything else out.

I'm curious though about you saying she's not committed to bfing. 8 months seems pretty darn committed to me! Especially considering most never even make it to 6 months. I understand the goal to bf for as long as possible, but it's also important to celebrate the journey along the way and wherever it ends.

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