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Old 01-01-2013, 10:42 PM   #1
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Sleep help, please!



^me every night. I've done it. I've created a terrible sleeper. Looking back, I don't know what I could have done differently, but here I am, with a one year old who keeps me up all hours of the night. Her normal schedule is 1.5 hours of sleep during the day, usually divided between two naps, and then to bed at 6:30, awake at 11:00, 1:00, 3:00, then 6:00 for the day. She will not go back down without being nursed for 10 minutes or rocked for 30, because of this, I always nurse her. I'm not willing to miss more sleep and sanity by sitting up with her jerking at my shirt for an additional 20 minutes or more. I've tried everything I can to sleep train her it seems. Anyone been in a similar boat that can give me advice? It's much appreciated

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Old 01-02-2013, 07:55 AM   #2
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I have no advice or help, mine is same age and worse than yours- I would actually love mine to have your baby's schedule! She's rarely asleep before 830 and generally wakes to "nurse/comfort suck" every hour or two. Lately it's been closer to hour as she is going into week 3 of being sick... so I know what it's like!
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Old 01-02-2013, 08:31 AM   #3
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Re: Sleep help, please!

The Ferber book saved my sanity. If you're going to go that route though, read the whole book.
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Old 01-02-2013, 08:32 AM   #4
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Re: Sleep help, please!

Does she sleep with you? When both my kids turned 1 I decided that waking 10 times a night still to nurse was not ok with me. I tried everything with them in my bed, but that didn't work. So I decided to start doing naps in the crib, and always start the night in there own bed (crib). Since you have no trouble getting her to sleep I'm guessing you have a bedtime routine, but if not, implement one. I always do bath, books, nurse, bed. When they wake in the middle of the night the most gentle way I know of night weaning is to push feeding times back 15 minutes at a time and shorten them by 5, 10 or 15 minutes at a time. if she wakes at 3:00, don't nurse until 3:15 and do 5 minutes less (If she usually nurses 20 minutes, do 15). Keep pushing that time back 15 minutes, and shortening the feeding until you can eliminate that feeding altogether, then work on the next one. (This didn't work for me, but I had some mommy friends who were successful). The only thing that worked for me was fairly quick, but did involve crying. When they would wake, I would go to them, tell them, "No more milkies at night time, it's all gone." (They understood all gone). Then I would say, do you want a hug? Usually they would get mad and say no and ask for milkies again to which I would repeat, "No more milkies at night time, it's all gone." Then walk out of the room (Or get back in bed). They would escalate their cry as I would leave and after a minute I would return, repeat the phrase, and offer a hug again instead. Usually the second time they would except the hug, and I would cuddle them until I felt they were ready, and lay them back down. Sometimes they would cry again, to which I would tell them the same phrase and then say, you can have one more hug, but then it's night time. And it worked! Slowly they woke less and less, and accepted the hug easier and easier. In the beginning sometimes this routine took a few times, but since they were over one and understood, I think they accepted it was gone at night. Anyway...that's my advice. My kids are now 3 and 5, and I never have a problem getting them to sleep or having them stay asleep. The go to bed at 7:00 and wake at 6:00 usually. They go pee in the middle of the night on their own too, and if they have a bad dream or something, they come to my bed and ask for a hug. Good luck mama. I know how desperate you can feel when they just won't stop waking. (At least I did, and was like, "Wait, aren't they suppose to be sleeping through the night now?") Anyway....I hope you figure out something that works for you.
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Old 01-02-2013, 08:44 AM   #5
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Does she sleep with you? When both my kids turned 1 I decided that waking 10 times a night still to nurse was not ok with me. I tried everything with them in my bed, but that didn't work. So I decided to start doing naps in the crib, and always start the night in there own bed (crib). Since you have no trouble getting her to sleep I'm guessing you have a bedtime routine, but if not, implement one. I always do bath, books, nurse, bed. When they wake in the middle of the night the most gentle way I know of night weaning is to push feeding times back 15 minutes at a time and shorten them by 5, 10 or 15 minutes at a time. if she wakes at 3:00, don't nurse until 3:15 and do 5 minutes less (If she usually nurses 20 minutes, do 15). Keep pushing that time back 15 minutes, and shortening the feeding until you can eliminate that feeding altogether, then work on the next one. (This didn't work for me, but I had some mommy friends who were successful). The only thing that worked for me was fairly quick, but did involve crying. When they would wake, I would go to them, tell them, "No more milkies at night time, it's all gone." (They understood all gone). Then I would say, do you want a hug? Usually they would get mad and say no and ask for milkies again to which I would repeat, "No more milkies at night time, it's all gone." Then walk out of the room (Or get back in bed). They would escalate their cry as I would leave and after a minute I would return, repeat the phrase, and offer a hug again instead. Usually the second time they would except the hug, and I would cuddle them until I felt they were ready, and lay them back down. Sometimes they would cry again, to which I would tell them the same phrase and then say, you can have one more hug, but then it's night time. And it worked! Slowly they woke less and less, and accepted the hug easier and easier. In the beginning sometimes this routine took a few times, but since they were over one and understood, I think they accepted it was gone at night. Anyway...that's my advice. My kids are now 3 and 5, and I never have a problem getting them to sleep or having them stay asleep. The go to bed at 7:00 and wake at 6:00 usually. They go pee in the middle of the night on their own too, and if they have a bad dream or something, they come to my bed and ask for a hug. Good luck mama. I know how desperate you can feel when they just won't stop waking. (At least I did, and was like, "Wait, aren't they suppose to be sleeping through the night now?") Anyway....I hope you figure out something that works for you.
Thank you all so much. Last night was officially the worst night ever, but she woke up with 4 NEW teeth, so what else could I expect?? I feel like the walking dead.

I've tried co-sleeping since she's been older, because we had a co-sleeper when she was an infant, but it is impossible for us. She HATES being in bed with us. I've tried the method of going in every couple of minutes and reassuring her, but she cries so hysterically that she'll choke on her own vomit. I am going to start using words or phrases as a pp suggested. She has a clear understanding of things right now, so maybe she'll catch on. In the meantime, I'm spending the next two nights at my parents' home so they can help me. My husband gets frustrated quickly and makes the whole thing worse
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Old 01-02-2013, 08:46 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by earthmama7
Does she sleep with you? When both my kids turned 1 I decided that waking 10 times a night still to nurse was not ok with me. I tried everything with them in my bed, but that didn't work. So I decided to start doing naps in the crib, and always start the night in there own bed (crib). Since you have no trouble getting her to sleep I'm guessing you have a bedtime routine, but if not, implement one. I always do bath, books, nurse, bed. When they wake in the middle of the night the most gentle way I know of night weaning is to push feeding times back 15 minutes at a time and shorten them by 5, 10 or 15 minutes at a time. if she wakes at 3:00, don't nurse until 3:15 and do 5 minutes less (If she usually nurses 20 minutes, do 15). Keep pushing that time back 15 minutes, and shortening the feeding until you can eliminate that feeding altogether, then work on the next one. (This didn't work for me, but I had some mommy friends who were successful). The only thing that worked for me was fairly quick, but did involve crying. When they would wake, I would go to them, tell them, "No more milkies at night time, it's all gone." (They understood all gone). Then I would say, do you want a hug? Usually they would get mad and say no and ask for milkies again to which I would repeat, "No more milkies at night time, it's all gone." Then walk out of the room (Or get back in bed). They would escalate their cry as I would leave and after a minute I would return, repeat the phrase, and offer a hug again instead. Usually the second time they would except the hug, and I would cuddle them until I felt they were ready, and lay them back down. Sometimes they would cry again, to which I would tell them the same phrase and then say, you can have one more hug, but then it's night time. And it worked! Slowly they woke less and less, and accepted the hug easier and easier. In the beginning sometimes this routine took a few times, but since they were over one and understood, I think they accepted it was gone at night. Anyway...that's my advice. My kids are now 3 and 5, and I never have a problem getting them to sleep or having them stay asleep. The go to bed at 7:00 and wake at 6:00 usually. They go pee in the middle of the night on their own too, and if they have a bad dream or something, they come to my bed and ask for a hug. Good luck mama. I know how desperate you can feel when they just won't stop waking. (At least I did, and was like, "Wait, aren't they suppose to be sleeping through the night now?") Anyway....I hope you figure out something that works for you.
Oh, and we have a great nighttime routine that works like a charm. I'm also going to shorten feeding times.
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Old 01-02-2013, 09:19 AM   #7
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We night weaned by having DH rock them back to sleep. Worked very well.
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Old 01-02-2013, 01:52 PM   #8
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Re: Sleep help, please!

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We night weaned by having DH rock them back to sleep. Worked very well.
I have seen this advice several times.

It helps to have dad (or someone else) do it.
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Old 01-02-2013, 03:13 PM   #9
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I have seen this advice several times.

It helps to have dad (or someone else) do it.
Unfortunately it's not an option for everyone. It really helped me not feel like I was "teasing" baby with my milk right there, KWIM?
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Old 01-02-2013, 03:31 PM   #10
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We night weaned by having DH rock them back to sleep. Worked very well.
I would love to try this, but my husband has a very short fuse in the middle of the night. I know it's just upsetting her.
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