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Old 12-31-2012, 09:04 AM   #1
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How to decide what toys are shared?

What do you do about toys and books--does each child have their own things? How do you decide what is just for one child and not for all the kids?

For books--are all books for everyone? or are there some books that are only for one child and others that are only for the other child?

How to decide which toys are only for DD and only for DS? Right now DS only plays with baby toys and has no interest in DD's toys but I'm not sure what the right way is to handle it when he does start playing with toys. DD got most of the toys as gifts, but many of them are big items that I would hope would be for both of them--like an easel, a toy kitchen, a train set, blocks..

But where does the line get drawn? dolls, dollhouse....

I'm just not sure where to draw the line at what needs to be shared and what doesn't.


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Old 12-31-2012, 09:09 AM   #2
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Re: How to decide what toys are shared?

There is no line here. They share their toys, room, diapers, etc. DS plays in DD's dollhouse and DD plays with DS's cars/trucks. They have "bears" that are their lovies and those are the only things for just themselves. They argue, but they argue about everything so keeping the toys separate would just create more stress. And they really do enjoy playing together
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Old 12-31-2012, 09:09 AM   #3
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Re: How to decide what toys are shared?

Toys and books are theirs they day they are given, and shared after that.

If the item is special then it needs to be kept in their room and put away when they are done. If it is in the livingroom or the shared spaces in the it is a shared item.
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Old 12-31-2012, 09:55 AM   #4
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Re: How to decide what toys are shared?

Everything is shared so long as it's age appropriate. (No tiny Legos for the baby.)
Nicole; spunky, sassy mama to my two little wild ones: Logan (9-08) and Liam (11-10) and Grayson (12-12)
I blog about the hilarity that comes along with raising my boys!
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Old 12-31-2012, 09:56 AM   #5
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Re: How to decide what toys are shared?

Pretty much everything is shared. Exceptions are things that younger children could break/choke on do not need to be shared, and there are a few special items that are just theirs.

My 5 year old has a Lego book that he loves, this is his and his alone, he does look at it with his brother, but I wouldn't expect him to have to let him look at it whenever he wants without asking.

My DD has a couple of baby dolls that are just hers, she does not need to share those, though she does share the accessories if her brothers want to play with them too.

Everything else is for everyone to play with as long as you are not breaking it or taking it directly out of someone's hands.
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Old 12-31-2012, 11:23 AM   #6
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Re: How to decide what toys are shared?

6 kids here. Everything that is age appropriate is shared with a few exceptions. Some of my kids have a lovey type toy (or several) that are just theirs. My 7 year old has his own camera (not a toy) and a few Lego sets that he built the plane (or whatever) that he keeps on his shelf. My DD is the only girls. So, while the boys can use her stuff, they often don't. My 5 year old boy has a few things too. Each of the olders (7, 5, 5) have a special drawer in their room (which they share) that is just their own and a shelf. They also have a dresser they can put things on. The 2 year olds share everything but they know which things were given to them and sometimes will claim something as theirs. They each have their own backpack and lovey, but everything else is fair game (even if they claim it. )

For the most part, it is just common sense. The few things that belong to only them are clearly specialty type toys. Everything else is shared by everyone.

It would be much to hard and complicated to try to keep track of whose is whose and then enforce that.

ETA - When things are given, like for Christmas, for at least that day (usually a couple of days) I will allow the toy to belong to whoever it was given to and enforce that. But, after a few days, it's fair game. All my kids know this and will even say to each other, "We share toys in our family." or even, "Well, in a few days, Mom will make you share and I'll be able to play with it."
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Old 12-31-2012, 11:53 AM   #7
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Re: How to decide what toys are shared?

Everything will get shared here except for 'special things'. Things that might fall into those categories will get decided over the years. But right now the only thing that I never require DD to share is her lovey bear.

Everything in this house was bought specifically 'for her', but with the idea that they are house toys.

I anticipate things like 'video game players', cameras, etc will become the kids own toys, but we aren't in that phase yet.
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Old 12-31-2012, 12:36 PM   #8
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Paper books are for ODS only cardboard books are for both. Aside from a few toys that are for DS1 only, it is all fair game. I have a 4.5 year old and 1 year old.
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Old 12-31-2012, 12:49 PM   #9
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Re: How to decide what toys are shared?

All shared here except for things that they may buy themselves. ods bought himself a ds with money that he saved. That is his. Everything else is shared.
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Old 12-31-2012, 01:04 PM   #10
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No line, bc dd wants ds to play dolls with her and ds always asks dd to play dinosaurs with him etc. books are everyone's, same with art supplies. this may change as they get older regarding special items or age appropriate items.
happily married mama enjoying life with my dd 4/7/07 and my ds 6/7/09

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