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Old 01-23-2013, 12:12 PM   #101
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Re: January 2013 Chat Thread

A little progress on our front...the judge signed the order to terminate on the 8th and "notice of entry" was done friday the 18th. So, now we wait to see how long our appeal period will be.

We are also having to update our CPR/first aid, and complete our yearly training hours. Double

We were ready to let our license expire! Oh well...

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Old 01-23-2013, 12:25 PM   #102
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Re: January 2013 Chat Thread

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The conference call is today. I'm nervous. Biodad is not a healthy or stable individual and he is being encouraged by his mom and sister to fight this and push for money. Not sure why he thinks he's owed anything. Most of you have dealt with bios who are under the influence of a variety of substances, so you understand that we are not dealing with regular reasoning abilities here.

If he decides to legally contest the adoption there's a good chance Abraham would have to go into foster care until it's settled. That makes me want to vomit.

He's doing well on his amino acid formula. For the first time he's willing to take a bigger bottle at a time without arching his back and screaming halfway through.
Praying for Abraham and his family. I can't even imagine. Would it just be a private foster placement through the adoption agency, or do you mean state custody foster care? If state custody than BD would likely be charged child support to the state.
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Old 01-23-2013, 02:22 PM   #103
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Re: January 2013 Chat Thread

I am sorry that so many are experiencing hard things. So glad to hear that Abraham isdoing well on his new formula,though!
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Old 01-23-2013, 06:03 PM   #104
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Hi Ladies,

I'm new around here and just wanted to say hello. I have yet to find a good group of mamas to connect with who are going through fostercare/adoption, so I'm happy to find this site!

DH and I have been going trough fertility treatment for 2 years now, including 2 IVF cycles. We have decided to continue to pursue treatment, but also go for a fostercare/adoptive placement. DH is a social worker for child protective services, so we will feel very strongly about giving children a good home.

I found this site because I finally convince DH to use cloth diapers, which is a huge success! We're starting to build our stash, so here I am. We currently have all of our paperwork in to the state, and are now just waiting for our homestudy.

Hello again to everyone, and I look forward to hearing your stories!

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Old 01-23-2013, 06:08 PM   #105
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Also, since we're so new to this process, I would LOVE any and all advice that you have. I've been reading your posts and it sounds like you are all amazing mamas and have lots of experience!!

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Old 01-23-2013, 07:48 PM   #106
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Re: January 2013 Chat Thread

Welcome RN83! The mamas around here are so amazing, supportive, and knowledgable!
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Old 01-24-2013, 09:11 AM   #107
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Re: January 2013 Chat Thread

I'm still processing yesterday's phone call. It went really well, all things considered. It was just easier in my mind to have biodad be a bad guy. He really wasn't (at least on the phone). He seemed genuinely concerned about Abraham's welfare.

He is still refusing to sign consent because he doesn't want to consent to the adoption. He wants to be raising Abraham if Kim didn't want to. He was supposedly told that Abraham had died (he didn't say if that was pre or post birth).

Obviously that's fraudulent and if he decided to challenge the adoption right now he would potentially have a shot at winning. That's a tough pill to swallow. It doesn't sound like that's the route he's going to take though. I still think that Abraham is better off with us, but it's still really hard to know that he has a bio parent who wants to parent him. What do I with that info?

Based solely on what biomom has said, he would not be successful at parenting. Based on what he said on the phone, he would have a chance to be ok at it (although I think grandma would end up doing the bulk of the work and she already has 9 children ages 9-30).

He was very respectful on the phone, but at one point in the background you could hear his cousin yell, "Get your ***** baby back!" I'm guessing how he was talking on the phone is not how he usually speaks or acts.

It's all just very confusing and a lot to deal with. He would like an open relationship with us though and we are going to slowly work on developing that.
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Old 01-24-2013, 09:43 AM   #108
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Re: January 2013 Chat Thread

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Originally Posted by FindingMercy View Post
I'm still processing yesterday's phone call. It went really well, all things considered. It was just easier in my mind to have biodad be a bad guy. He really wasn't (at least on the phone). He seemed genuinely concerned about Abraham's welfare.

He is still refusing to sign consent because he doesn't want to consent to the adoption. He wants to be raising Abraham if Kim didn't want to. He was supposedly told that Abraham had died (he didn't say if that was pre or post birth).

Obviously that's fraudulent and if he decided to challenge the adoption right now he would potentially have a shot at winning. That's a tough pill to swallow. It doesn't sound like that's the route he's going to take though. I still think that Abraham is better off with us, but it's still really hard to know that he has a bio parent who wants to parent him. What do I with that info?

Based solely on what biomom has said, he would not be successful at parenting. Based on what he said on the phone, he would have a chance to be ok at it (although I think grandma would end up doing the bulk of the work and she already has 9 children ages 9-30).

He was very respectful on the phone, but at one point in the background you could hear his cousin yell, "Get your ***** baby back!" I'm guessing how he was talking on the phone is not how he usually speaks or acts.

It's all just very confusing and a lot to deal with. He would like an open relationship with us though and we are going to slowly work on developing that.
Mama. This is so hard. But, Abraham has had so many challenges already in his short life, and he is so blessed that he had you and your family to get him through those.

So it seems from what you said that the bottom line as it looks right now is that BD won't sign but isn't going to contest so the next step is to terminate his rights? Did your lawyer give you a plan going forward?
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Old 01-24-2013, 10:17 AM   #109
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Originally Posted by sunnymommy

Mama. This is so hard. But, Abraham has had so many challenges already in his short life, and he is so blessed that he had you and your family to get him through those.

So it seems from what you said that the bottom line as it looks right now is that BD won't sign but isn't going to contest so the next step is to terminate his rights? Did your lawyer give you a plan going forward?
Correct. We are already in process of terminating his rights. He has until feb 18th to chose to fight and then his chance is up. We will have a termination hearing and then proceed to finalize most likely in march.
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Old 01-24-2013, 10:20 AM   #110
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Re: January 2013 Chat Thread

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Correct. We are already in process of terminating his rights. He has until feb 18th to chose to fight and then his chance is up. We will have a termination hearing and then proceed to finalize most likely in march.
Praying he just leaves it alone and you can terminate after the 18th. Maybe his pride will be hurt in signing the consent...but allowing the court to terminate might be easier for him. What a tough pill to swallow indeed.
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