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Old 01-14-2013, 09:34 PM   #141
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Re: Pregnancy After Loss (Jan 1-15)

I can barely see the screen to type this b/c I'm over here bawling. My first day alone with three kids was a total disaster. "They" say that if someone has a hard time going from one to two children then it's easier going from two to three, and that if someone has an easy time going from one to two children then it's harder going from two to three. I thought I had a hard time going from one to two, but now I'm having an impossible time going from two to three. My kids have so many behavior issues that I can't seem to get a handle on and I'm very discouraged.

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Old 01-14-2013, 09:36 PM   #142
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Re: Pregnancy After Loss (Jan 1-15)

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I can barely see the screen to type this b/c I'm over here bawling. My first day alone with three kids was a total disaster. "They" say that if someone has a hard time going from one to two children then it's easier going from two to three, and that if someone has an easy time going from one to two children then it's harder going from two to three. I thought I had a hard time going from one to two, but now I'm having an impossible time going from two to three. My kids have so many behavior issues that I can't seem to get a handle on and I'm very discouraged.


Oh no Andrea

take it one day at a time. Is there something that quiets the kids down for at least 30 minutes to give you peace? Even if it means plopping them down infront of the tv?

I felt bad doing that with Steven after Em was born, but it's all I could do to save my sanity.

Is there anyone that can come and help out a day or two? Maybe a friend of dd that she can go visit for a few hours?
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Old 01-14-2013, 10:02 PM   #143
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I'm so sorry it was a rough day Andrea. do you know any jr high or high schoolers that could come over after school to help out or some sahm in your area who could come over for a little bit?

How old are your older children? Are they big enough to "help"? Make chores for them and praise them for doing a good job at it. Coloring or some special toys during feedings that would keep them busy.

Praying for a better day tomorrow. Take it hour by hour. Ask for help. Wish I could do more.
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Old 01-15-2013, 05:16 AM   #144
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Re: Pregnancy After Loss (Jan 1-15)

Congrats on the baby girl Carly. Seems like there's a lot of baby girls in this thread!

Andrea-so sorry you are having a tough time. No matter how many kids you have, there is an adjustment period. Give yourself and your family some time. It will get better!
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Old 01-15-2013, 06:31 AM   #145
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Re: Pregnancy After Loss (Jan 1-15)

I'm so sorry you're having a rough time, Andrea. I hope and pray things get easier. I'm sure it will, but it's just going to take some time for adjustment. Anytime there's change like adding a new family member there's gotta be an adjustment period.
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Old 01-15-2013, 07:47 AM   #146
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Andrea!

I'm so sorry that you had such a rough day. Try not to be too discouraged yet...bad days happen, but they don't mean that every day going forward will be awful. Your kids are adjusting to the newbie, too, so maybe they're testing limits right now. I tend to think that the first days alone are going to be hard no matter what, but as everyone settles it gets easier.

I've never heard that how you went from one to two kids will predict how things go from two to three. Guidelines like that are only guides anyway, and every family is different. Please don't stress yourself out more by trying to predict the future...just know that there WILL be bad days and that there WILL be good days. God will help you through it all--lean on Him. You can do this.
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Old 01-15-2013, 08:01 AM   #147
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Re: Pregnancy After Loss (Jan 1-15)

My kids' behavior has gotten progressively worse over a very long time. This is not something new. Lydia (6 last month) has always had issues and now that she's older and not growing out of them, I'm highly suspicious that she has ADHD like her dad might. I even finally went so far as to get the screening questionnaires from her doctor at her well-child visit the other day and will be giving the "teacher" one to her Bible class teacher to have her fill out. There are times when she is amazing, but when she's off her game, she is REALLY REALLY OFF her game. And then B (3) sees what she does and he is learning her bad habits by imitation.
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Old 01-15-2013, 08:24 PM   #148
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Harmony96
My kids' behavior has gotten progressively worse over a very long time. This is not something new. Lydia (6 last month) has always had issues and now that she's older and not growing out of them, I'm highly suspicious that she has ADHD like her dad might. I even finally went so far as to get the screening questionnaires from her doctor at her well-child visit the other day and will be giving the "teacher" one to her Bible class teacher to have her fill out. There are times when she is amazing, but when she's off her game, she is REALLY REALLY OFF her game. And then B (3) sees what she does and he is learning her bad habits by imitation.
Hugs! Adding #3 was by far the most challenging for me. It felt like 3x the work, chaos, etc. I agree do some movie time, or find something olders can do together... For us it was gymnastics for a couple hours a week while I watched. It's always an adjustment but also mentally and emotionally it was hard bringing home our rainbow.
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Old 01-15-2013, 08:35 PM   #149
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Re: Pregnancy After Loss (Jan 1-15)

Andrea!

I wanted to throw this out here, because I've seen this work for friends. My one friend... I mentioned it to her a year before, and she wasn't ready to hear, but after about a year she was ready to try anything and in 3 days her child went from beating the snot out of his little brother all day to being able to play calmly. Medication is needed for a lot of kids, but sometimes it can be other causes and this one is pretty benign to try first. book
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Old 01-15-2013, 09:18 PM   #150
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Re: Pregnancy After Loss (Jan 1-15)

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Originally Posted by Harmony96 View Post
I can barely see the screen to type this b/c I'm over here bawling. My first day alone with three kids was a total disaster. "They" say that if someone has a hard time going from one to two children then it's easier going from two to three, and that if someone has an easy time going from one to two children then it's harder going from two to three. I thought I had a hard time going from one to two, but now I'm having an impossible time going from two to three. My kids have so many behavior issues that I can't seem to get a handle on and I'm very discouraged.
Andrea. Every new baby is an adjustment, I don't think there's any way to predict how it's going to go or how hard it may be.
Take it one day at a time. If the kids are happy to have a bowl of popcorn and watch a movie, let them. It helps to be a bit more lenient in the first couple weeks after baby comes, and especially where you're alone with them now - the older ones do realize that, and they get that mommy is busy sometimes... so they either just take the chance to be rotten when they see mom busy, or they try to be rotten in order to get attention back on them. For my kids, asking them to help with the baby (bringing me things, bringing baby things, talking or reading to baby, etc) is a big help - and of course praising them tons for doing a good job.
And they're going to test the lines, see how much they can get away with now that baby is here and mom is alone with them.
It's normal. Tough, and not fun. But normal.
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