Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-02-2013, 01:50 PM   #1
FormallyMichele's Avatar
FormallyMichele
Registered Users
Formerly c****f
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,247
My Mood:
She's almost five and recently she won't do anything we ask her. We aren't really strict parents, but sometimes she has to do what we ask her----clean up your mess, take a bath, brush your teeth---BASIC health/hygiene tasks.

Lately it's all "I don't want to" or straight up "no I'm not going to do that."
It's making me crazy and my DH who is skeptical of non-spanking gentle discipline has started to threaten her with spankings and I'm not ok with spanking her. Advice?

For example: today she says she's not feeling well so she's laying on the couch and her sister keeps pulling her hair (she's 1). I'm trying to clean my bedroom and she keeps shouting "come make DD2 stop pulling my hair."
I explain to her that her sister thinks she's playing because she's making a loud noise when her hair gets pulled. To just say "touch easy. Love gentle" and she will stop. But she won't so it keeps happening. I take DD2 away and she keeps coming back. DD 1 won't sit up or do anything to keep it from happening. I suggest her going to her room and laying in her bed so her sister can't reach her and she won't. She just lays there and screams when DD2 pulls her hair(very dramatically). I can't make DD2 stop. She's just a baby. I'm trying to clean my room. I have to keep coming in there and saying "DD1, be gentle with sister. Touch easy." Because DD1 just won't listen to me. So finally I pick her up and put her in her room because it was just getting ridiculous. She throws a screaming fit because she didn't want to be in her room.

Advertisement

__________________
Mother to two lovely ladies
I make unique custom jewelry.
A $1 from every purchase helps to buy children's books for my local library. See fanpage for more information!

Last edited by FormallyMichele; 01-02-2013 at 01:59 PM.
FormallyMichele is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2013, 02:04 PM   #2
CarrieMF's Avatar
CarrieMF
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Alberta/Saskatchewan
Posts: 6,545
My Mood:
I would have ignored her after you gave her ways to make it stop.

What kind of consequences does she have if she doesn't do her basic hygiene?
__________________
Carrie
CarrieMF is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2013, 02:22 PM   #3
nonipie's Avatar
nonipie
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Chicago
Posts: 6,183
Re: What to do about my DD??

Yes I would ignore that. In the other cases I would thin she has the option to do it herself or face natural consequences. I agree that there is no point in threatening a consequence (spanking or otherwise) if you don't intend to follow through. For me with your examples with the mess if you don't clean up your stuff I keep it. You won't brush your teeth like a big kid then I will do it for you which my 6 year old hates. If I have to treat you like a baby or you choose to act like one then you also don't get privileges reserved for big kids like dessert or staying up later etc. Whatever the case may be. Straight up telling me or DH no though gets an immediate trip to TO. They are free to express their opinions and feelings ( I don't think that's fair, I don't like that idea are fine things to say) but outright disrespect I can't tolerate but that is just how we do it here. Point is be consistent and don't give her more attention for it.
__________________
Married to my soulmate Chris since 2004 Mama to big boy D 8/12/06, Big Girl M 3/7/10 and my sweet new boy E 9/10/12!

ISO:MM Optimus Prime, MM Time Lord and Supreme Dalek
nonipie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2013, 03:34 PM   #4
iwiamandaiwi's Avatar
iwiamandaiwi
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,218
Re: What to do about my DD??

i agree. unless she was being violent with her little sister i would tell her once what she should do to remedy the situation and then I would ignore her complaints and simply tell her that i explained that your sister is too young to understand why she should stop and if it is bothering you that much then i have told you what you can do to fix the problem. if you choose not to listen to me then she is going to keep pulling your hair and that is your own choice.
__________________
Breastfeeding , Cloth Diapering, Babywearing Mommy, to Dylan Michael (September 2007) Aiden Edward (March 2011) and anxiously waiting for Katherine Sophia due in MAY!
iwiamandaiwi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2013, 04:53 PM   #5
FormallyMichele's Avatar
FormallyMichele
Registered Users
Formerly c****f
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,247
My Mood:
Quote:
Originally Posted by iwiamandaiwi
i agree. unless she was being violent with her little sister i would tell her once what she should do to remedy the situation and then I would ignore her complaints and simply tell her that i explained that your sister is too young to understand why she should stop and if it is bothering you that much then i have told you what you can do to fix the problem. if you choose not to listen to me then she is going to keep pulling your hair and that is your own choice.
Yeah. I was worried she might hurt her sister. She's never hit her or hurt her---we have a zero tolerance policy on hurting others--but you never know. I would have felt rather bad about ignoring her and then DD2 getting hurt.
__________________
Mother to two lovely ladies
I make unique custom jewelry.
A $1 from every purchase helps to buy children's books for my local library. See fanpage for more information!
FormallyMichele is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2013, 04:09 AM   #6
lovebear's Avatar
lovebear
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 111
Re: What to do about my DD??

Do you have a playpen for DD2? You may need to put her there so DD1 won't complain anymore. If DD2 keeps pulling DD1's hair and you still ignore DD1's complaints, she might likely to hurt her little sister. At her age, she tends to be lazy when asked to do something.
__________________
Loving Mom to Maegan(07/17/08) and Ter(07/08/12)
*~ Need a sitter/nanny? Check out the TopSitters.com. They helped me when I was in a bind.~*
lovebear is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2013, 02:27 PM   #7
FormallyMichele's Avatar
FormallyMichele
Registered Users
Formerly c****f
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,247
My Mood:
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovebear
Do you have a playpen for DD2? You may need to put her there so DD1 won't complain anymore. If DD2 keeps pulling DD1's hair and you still ignore DD1's complaints, she might likely to hurt her little sister. At her age, she tends to be lazy when asked to do something.
Haha. There's no way she'd stay in a playpen.
__________________
Mother to two lovely ladies
I make unique custom jewelry.
A $1 from every purchase helps to buy children's books for my local library. See fanpage for more information!
FormallyMichele is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.