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Old 01-03-2013, 10:39 PM   #21
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I think in order to truly be a perfect BTDT doula, they would have had to experienced the entire scope of possibility when it comes to birth. So unless they have had a natural birth, a c-section, a medicated birth, a loss, and an orgasmic birth they couldn't possibly be qualified.
Since that is pretty much no one I have ever met, I would be looking at other qualifications like their sense of compassion, tenderness and desire to support me no matter what happens. They aren't there to increase the likelihood of a certain type of experience, they are there to give the birthing mother a sense of support and companionship, no matter what the outcome is.


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Old 01-03-2013, 10:53 PM   #22
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This is actually something I've been debating lately. I'll be meeting a woman soon who is working towards her doula certification but she has no children. I'm a tiny bit hesitant, but I figure the plus of a doula with no kids is no issues with her having to deal with child care during labor. If she and I click well, we'll probably hire her.
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Old 01-03-2013, 11:01 PM   #23
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Re: What do you think of a doula who has never given birth?

I personally would want a doula who has had a child through natural birth if I was going to have one. However, I live in an area where I couldn't find a doula ... so the reality is, I'd have taken whatever I could have gotten. If I had a choice between someone 3 kids or one with none... I'd take the one with kids in a heartbeat! However, I don't know that I would ask if they had kids.
I would not want a lactation consultant that had never BF. I'm sure the nurse at the hospital had never Breastfed! I had DD on the breast, latched, and she wanted me to unlatch her so I could "try different holds". I think I must have given her the look of death because DH stepped in. He told her that I knew what I was doing and we would call her to let her know if we had any issues. I just think if a person hasn't experienced trying to care for an infant while pumping or getting up every 2 hours to BF because your SO/DH doesn't have any milk.... They might not understand. (Emotionally understand)
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Old 01-03-2013, 11:11 PM   #24
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I'd use a doula who has never given birth over one who had an epidural at 3cm. I'd use an lc who's never had children over one who never even tried to breastfeed more than a few days.

That may make me judgemental, but it would be weird to have somebody who couldn't handle birthing trying to coach me through a natural birth.
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Old 01-03-2013, 11:12 PM   #25
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I'd rather have an experienced, caring and educated doula or LC no matter their personal experience.

What if the doula had X personal experience and can't get past her own POV? She might not be as helpful as someone without personal judgment on an issue whose seen a lot of different outcomes and techniques.
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Old 01-04-2013, 08:11 AM   #26
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Re: What do you think of a doula who has never given birth?

I had the most amazing doula, and she had never had a baby.

She was well-versed on the medical side (she had a background in epidemiology, so was very understanding of the terminology) and very compassionate - she thought of everything! She is now completed her third year of midwifery school and is looking to start a free-standing birth center in our city.
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Old 01-04-2013, 08:16 AM   #27
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Originally Posted by bigmamakelsey
It wouldn't sway my decision. The gift of helping women in labor doesn't come from BTDT, it comes from somewhere else inside.
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Old 01-04-2013, 08:53 AM   #28
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Re: What do you think of a doula who has never given birth?

I think I would be fine with a doula who doesn't have children. I think if our personalities meshed well and she was good at coaching me and calming me then that is what matters.

I would be more hesitant to have a LC that hasn't btdt. For me, when I was having some issues, I wasn't totally sure what was going on so I was having to describe the "feeling" I had to help figure out what the deal was. Nursing in general is kind of a strange sensation to explain to someone that hasn't done it, so I'm not sure I would feel confident that I could make a LC that hasn't actually nursed understand what I was trying to explain. That's probably my own hang up though.
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Old 01-04-2013, 09:10 AM   #29
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I think for me personally I would like a doula who had birth experience, but I would be okay with one without. Same as a LC. You can read and research all day long but sometimes personal experience wins out.

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Old 01-04-2013, 10:50 AM   #30
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I SWORE I would never use a doula who had never given birth. But of course, the doula that I 100% clicked with and loved was childless so I had to eat my words. It was definitely the right decision for me...when she got to my house and I was pushing even though I was supposed to be having my VBAC at the hospital, she jumped right in and helped me bring my sweet baby into the world! Thank goodness she was also training to be a midwife Two years later she was my midwife for my first planned home birth and it was absolutely perfect. I have never met anyone as passionate about birth and as dedicated to helping women.
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