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Old 01-05-2013, 03:15 PM   #1
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So whats the big deal with making sure babies gender conform?

There was a recent thread here (in the craft section) about if a boychild could wear a brown onesie with a camo applique heart. I was struck by how many posters stated that they would not allow their kid to wear it (or maybe only inside...certainly not out of the house). Or posters that wanted to ask their DH before giving an opinion. Or just a flat out NO.

I have noticed similar rigid gender expectations in some of the name threads. Like feeling boys names have been tainted if they have become popular among girls, or can be interpreted as too girly.

So, I don't get what the big deal is honestly. Is there major social censure where some of y'all live towards baby boys who are not presented as uber masculine? (I live in the Bay Area so its not something I encounter here). I'm genuinely curious what would happen if you dressed your kid in purple or named him Ashley or something.

I honestly don't get it...

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Old 01-05-2013, 03:20 PM   #2
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Re: So whats the big deal with making sure babies gender conform?

Yea I don't know. We have pink hoodie towel my baby boy will use, wash cloths. One guy I know said he would have taken pink shoes too small for mine I bought for his boy.
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Old 01-05-2013, 03:20 PM   #3
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I put girly things on DS all the time, and he has had pink blankets, pink boppy, and a pink swing because he's the only boy in the family. I don't care and I think it looks cute on him.

My mil never spares me her "why are you trying to make him gay?" comments but I ignore her.

It sickens me that in our society it's okay and even encouraged for girls to be Tom boys but it is offensive and a faux pas for boys to even hint at being somewhat "girly."
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Old 01-05-2013, 03:21 PM   #4
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I always dressed DS as a 'boy' when he was a baby because sometimes it's hard to tell when they are little and I hated having to correct people. Now that DS is old enough to speak for himself, he wears what he wants and I let him correct people if they call him a girl. It's the blond curly hair that confuses some people.

Some people feel strongly about gender roles and some don't. DS has baby dolls and a kitchen, and he also has sports stuff and power tools.
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Old 01-05-2013, 03:23 PM   #5
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Re: So whats the big deal with making sure babies gender conform?

I am always on team green when pregnant so my littles are always dressed in gender neutral stuff for awhile. People will usually just ask me...I've never had anyone offended.

Well except for one lady who wouldn't believe that DS1 was a boy because he was "too pretty" lol
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Old 01-05-2013, 03:29 PM   #6
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Re: So whats the big deal with making sure babies gender conform?

I had a girl....then a boy....then 2 girls.....we have a LOT of pink going on in our house....sometimes the only gloves I find are pink...or camo....doesn't really matter for us who wears what...I don't purposely put the boy in a dress or anything...more often than not the younger girls end up in something VERY boy....and most of the time I buy things gender neutral knowing that our whole family will use it, especially speciality clothing items (coats, boots, gloves), carseats. I don't force any of our kids to wear something specific...my DH might have a different comment about all that...
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Old 01-05-2013, 03:35 PM   #7
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Re: So whats the big deal with making sure babies gender conform?

I was adamant before I knew the sex of my foetus that if it were a boy, he would be wearing flowers and fruits rather than trucks and rockets (because I have absolutely no interest in transport, but I like colours, fragrances and tastes.) Flowers and fruits are not sexed! They have both male and female sex organs! And it amuses and pains me in equal measure that organic things are coded "girl" and mechanical things are coded "boy".
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Old 01-05-2013, 03:49 PM   #8
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I honestly dont get it either.
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Old 01-05-2013, 03:50 PM   #9
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Re: So whats the big deal with making sure babies gender conform?

My little ones wear whatever we have saved. So depending on the previous sibling there may be some flowers or trucks. But once they get older they want to wear more of the traditional gender clothing. My did at 1 and a half LOVED tutus and wouldn't hear of a shirt and D's handed down jeans and D's at 2 is not about to put ruffles on to save his life. If he wanted to play dress up that would be fine but he just won't. I do agree with the pp who said that people are always guessing if they are a boy orca girl so dressing them up helps. But not all the time, I had someone ask if did was a bit, she was in a pink very ruffly dress with a headband on. I said no she was a girl and she was like IH it us always so hard to tell when they are little.
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Old 01-05-2013, 04:00 PM   #10
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Re: So whats the big deal with making sure babies gender conform?

My 11 year old boy just got a PURPLE cast taken off... which seems to be a "girl" color.

I think comments (from me or anyone else) are more likely to scar my children about how they are wearing an inappropriate color or whatever, than LETTING them wear the "inappropriate" color.
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