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Old 01-06-2013, 08:32 AM   #51
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Re: So whats the big deal with making sure babies gender conform?

My husband is that way. He's flip if I tried to put a heart shirt on DS but it doesn't bother me. DS has 2 older sisters so he messes with their purses and makeup and plays with baby dolls sometimes. DH hates it and thinks that if he plays with dolls that he's going to end up being gay. It annoys me that he thinks this way. If DS wants to play with a doll I'll let him and if he wants to wear "girly" colors I don't mind. He's got his own opinion on what he likes.

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Old 01-06-2013, 08:33 AM   #52
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Re: So whats the big deal with making sure babies gender conform?

I like gender specifics. Our boys will have normal, easy to spell boys names, our girls will have normal easy to spell girls names. I don't want them to have to deal with people not knowing if they are a girl or boy the rest of thier life.

We have two boys, all the cousins (except 1) in my family are boys, my friends all have boys. Needless to say we have a lot of boy stuff. There wasn't any reason to have "girl" stuff.

now we have a girl. Frankly i am tired of boys everything so I sold off the boys clothes, except for jeans and a few sleepers, and bought girl stuff after our GN newborn stuff was gone.

I like clothes to be more gender specific.

It is nice for the variety. I have no prolems with the boys playing with her dolls that I pulled out. They definalty more "boy" more because that is all we have.

For me if we had girls first I would have done the same. Sold the girl stuff and bought boy stuff.

I am sure DD will be playing with plenty of cars, trucks, ect as she grows up jusst like I am sure the boys will play dolls ect with her. No big deal.
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Old 01-06-2013, 09:00 AM   #53
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I gave my daughter a "boy" name - I guess she will struggle with statements the rest of her life. Lol.
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Old 01-06-2013, 09:05 AM   #54
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Re: So whats the big deal with making sure babies gender conform?

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I gave my daughter a "boy" name - I guess she will struggle with statements the rest of her life. Lol.
I love your daughter's name - it was on my short list. Is it for Jane Austen, or did you just love it?
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Old 01-06-2013, 09:07 AM   #55
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Re: So whats the big deal with making sure babies gender conform?

Maybe I had to see it? I can't imagine what could be girly about a brown onsie with camo-anything on it. Why on earth would you need another opinion?

We didn't DO anything specific gender wise with our kids. They just popped out all-boy and all-girly types. I have always wondered what our 3rd child would be like if we already have an nth degree boy and an nth degree girl.
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Old 01-06-2013, 09:27 AM   #56
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Re: So whats the big deal with making sure babies gender conform?

I don't need to make sure my kids "gender conform" but I am also not going to ignore the fact that they are different genders.

The reality is that boys and girls ARE different. I recognize that every individual is an individual and has their own preferences. But most things that are labeled "boy things" or "girl things" are labeled that way because those genders typically gravitate towards those things.

And I won't apologize for assuming that my boy will probably like things that are boy things and my girls will like girl things. I am not upset if my kids like other stuff, I am not going to force anyone to play with or wear something just because of their gender, nor would I require that they not play with or wear something for that reason either. But yes, until they have their own prefernces, I will buy "boy stuff " for my boy and "girl stuff" for my girls.

Having said all that, my two younger girls have nicknames that are more "boy sounding," my son's nickname is pretty gender neutral, and currently everyone is dressed in football attire since I like football and we will be watching the game this afternoon. Clearly it's not some deep rooted principle.
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Old 01-06-2013, 09:27 AM   #57
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Re: So whats the big deal with making sure babies gender conform?

I don't need to make sure my kids "gender conform" but I am also not going to ignore the fact that they are different genders.

The reality is that boys and girls ARE different. I recognize that every individual is an individual and has their own preferences. But most things that are labeled "boy things" or "girl things" are labeled that way because those genders typically gravitate towards those things.

And I won't apologize for assuming that my boy will probably like things that are boy things and my girls will like girl things. I am not upset if my kids like other stuff, I am not going to force anyone to play with or wear something just because of their gender, nor would I require that they not play with or wear something for that reason either. But yes, until they have their own prefernces, I will buy "boy stuff " for my boy and "girl stuff" for my girls.

Having said all that, my two younger girls have nicknames that are more "boy sounding," my son's nickname is pretty gender neutral, and currently everyone is dressed in football attire since I like football and we will be watching the game this afternoon. Clearly it's not some deep rooted principle.
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Old 01-06-2013, 09:34 AM   #58
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I just like my girls to look girly cuz well I can.
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Old 01-06-2013, 09:40 AM   #59
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Re: So whats the big deal with making sure babies gender conform?

All studies I have read point to the fact that while sex may be inherent, gender is taught. Gender roles (which include things like trucks=boy and pink=girl) are 100% socialization.

This stuff doesn't just happen on its own. We teach it. Which makes me wonder why we do?

I think its mostly a holdover from different times, but then I wonder why things like kids clothing choices have become even more gender rigid from when I was a kid. I mean hell, 100 years ago baby boys wore dresses until they were like three.

It seems like one of the underlying subtexts is homophobia (turning sons gay). I know being gay is pretty mainstream where I live and teach so perhaps this is why I do not understand the panic.
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Old 01-06-2013, 09:55 AM   #60
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Re: So whats the big deal with making sure babies gender conform?

Nature vs nurture has been debated for a long time interns of shaping who we are and why. I don't think it's at all reasonable to say anything is 100% one or the other. I think it's certainly debatable to say "gender is 100% taught". However, I have no desire to go comparing studies we find on google.

As for why we have gender differences, I dunno. My guess would be that from an evolutionary standpoint, continuation of the species is much easier when the two separate genders are easily identifiable.

Why do most species have clear gender roles? Why do male penguins guard the eggs while the females go hunt?
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