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Old 01-06-2013, 10:48 AM   #11
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Re: If your DH/SO successfully took weight off, how did you help?

My DH gained some weight during ds2's pregnancy and he didn't like it. He was also eating a lot of gas station food and drinking pop when at work. So I just made sure to pack him healthy, but yummy foods and pack him little juices (I know, juice isn't that healthy, but it's better than pop and moster energy drinks. I use 100% juice too, 1 ingredient). We have a panini pan and seriously it's awesome. You can make so many different sandwhiches and it's a nice break from your normal cold, deli meat sandwiches.

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Old 01-06-2013, 10:52 AM   #12
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A few things that have helped with DH is to work out myself, and to allow him time to get in a run or workout. When he sees that I'm working out and getting in shape he feels motivated to do the same. For giving him time to work out, I'll say something like "I'll do the dishes tonight so that you can go for a run". That way he feels obligated to exercise, if only to get out of doing the dishes
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Old 01-06-2013, 11:48 AM   #13
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Re: If your DH/SO successfully took weight off, how did you help?

Those who are the most successful at it have a spouse or best friend doing it too. They do personal training together, or get into hiking or kick boxing together. They make complete dietary changes together, and buy workout equipment that they can both use.

So, instead of inviting him to zumba, look into a cardio boxing class. I don't want my husband to hit ME, but I'd like to hit him...so, maybe a double standard like that wouldn't help him much...but, it'd be fun. (for me)

My husband is a LOT stronger than I am, and has more stamina, so I don't like to hike with him...yet, he has more weight to lose than I do. I can't figure out how that happened. But, I love to hike with my girlfriend because she hikes at a normal pace.

As far as meal planning, you can control some of that... Just like you would if your child needed to lose weight, you'd change your entire menu. Unless he wants some crazy diet, i'd make reasonable changes in the meals, and then portion control is up to him.
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Old 01-06-2013, 11:49 AM   #14
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Re: If your DH/SO successfully took weight off, how did you help?

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A few things that have helped with DH is to work out myself, and to allow him time to get in a run or workout. When he sees that I'm working out and getting in shape he feels motivated to do the same. For giving him time to work out, I'll say something like "I'll do the dishes tonight so that you can go for a run". That way he feels obligated to exercise, if only to get out of doing the dishes
Ooh I like this too. He just got a gym membership & committed to me that he will go 3x/wk. When the days are longer I can have him walk the dog after dinner on the days he doesn't go to the gym.
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Old 01-06-2013, 11:57 AM   #15
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Re: If your DH/SO successfully took weight off, how did you help?

No one else has said it, but ask him what rewards he would like for losing weight, and set up a way for him to cash in on them.

When I want to lose weight, I make a list of 5-10 things I really want: A massage, a new pair of shoes, a night off with friends, a new item for the house, tickets to a concert etc. and then I say every 10 pounds I lose, DH gets to choose from my list and surprise me. I am motivated by the rewards and the surprise of not knowing what I might get. I'm currently doing this now that I am 2 months postpartum

The rewards don't have to be expensive for small milestones. It could be as simple as you making his favorite dinner or giving him a neck rub. Let him make the list and give it to you and you can hide it away. Then, when he looks like he is slacking, pull out the list and entice him!
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Old 01-06-2013, 11:58 AM   #16
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Re: If your DH/SO successfully took weight off, how did you help?

I am currently trying to take weight off and am being successful with DH's help. Here are the things I have found most helpful.

Working out: I like it when DH comes to the gym with me. If he doesn't want to go (which is often as he prefers running outdoors) I appreciate it when he makes my being able to exercise a priority and doesn't give me grief about not being with the family or having dinner ready etc. I used to feel so bad about taking time out of our busy lives to exercise. I put what everyone else wanted to do first. I finally realized that until I made myself a priority, nothing was going to change.

Eating: I am thankful that DH will eat the crazy meals I cook. It is easiest for me to cook one meal for everyone, so that means I eat whatever everyone else is eating. I have started to cook much healthier meals, using ingredients I never have used before (for example, quinoa and bulgur) and he will smile and eat it right along with me.

Drinking water: I drink more water when I am using water bottles. I know it is wasteful, and I know water is free when it comes out of the tap, but I just don't drink it like that. As much as DH hates to see me by bottled water, he keeps his mouth closed because I am no longer buying cases of Coke which I did before my dietary change.

Lifestyle: DH will suggest active things for us to do as a family. Over winter break we went ice skating. It was a lot of fun and it was "exercise in disguise."

Clothing: Last week I had to go out and buy new pants. Normally DH would have groaned about me going clothing shopping- especially since my old pants would have been fine if I used a belt, but he saw how excited I was to buy new pants in a size smaller than I had been wearing and he just smiled and told me I looked great.
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Old 01-06-2013, 11:59 AM   #17
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Re: If your DH/SO successfully took weight off, how did you help?

I love the reward list idea! Thank you!
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Old 01-06-2013, 12:02 PM   #18
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Re: If your DH/SO successfully took weight off, how did you help?

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Originally Posted by jac1976 View Post
I am currently trying to take weight off and am being successful with DH's help. Here are the things I have found most helpful.

Working out: I like it when DH comes to the gym with me. If he doesn't want to go (which is often as he prefers running outdoors) I appreciate it when he makes my being able to exercise a priority and doesn't give me grief about not being with the family or having dinner ready etc. I used to feel so bad about taking time out of our busy lives to exercise. I put what everyone else wanted to do first. I finally realized that until I made myself a priority, nothing was going to change.

Eating: I am thankful that DH will eat the crazy meals I cook. It is easiest for me to cook one meal for everyone, so that means I eat whatever everyone else is eating. I have started to cook much healthier meals, using ingredients I never have used before (for example, quinoa and bulgur) and he will smile and eat it right along with me.

Drinking water: I drink more water when I am using water bottles. I know it is wasteful, and I know water is free when it comes out of the tap, but I just don't drink it like that. As much as DH hates to see me by bottled water, he keeps his mouth closed because I am no longer buying cases of Coke which I did before my dietary change.

Lifestyle: DH will suggest active things for us to do as a family. Over winter break we went ice skating. It was a lot of fun and it was "exercise in disguise."

Clothing: Last week I had to go out and buy new pants. Normally DH would have groaned about me going clothing shopping- especially since my old pants would have been fine if I used a belt, but he saw how excited I was to buy new pants in a size smaller than I had been wearing and he just smiled and told me I looked great.
I know I need to do better about cooking better meals. I will work on that. Family activities are a good idea, too, even if it's just all of us going for a walk.
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Old 01-06-2013, 12:23 PM   #19
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Re: If your DH/SO successfully took weight off, how did you help?

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I think one of his biggest issues is portion control so I might casually bring it up ... I like the idea of "teaching the kids" when he is around! That's smart.
With my DH, we're the opposite (I need to lose weight, I'm guessing DH sees the same pattern with me that you see in your DH). Portion control is certainly a challenge, and I'm considering changing our plates. They are HUGE - I wondered about trying to use our side plates as my meal plate for a month and see how that goes before replacing the whole set.

We have sectioned ones for our kids, and it is neat to see how big the 'veggies/fruit' section is compared to the 'meat/protein' and the 'carb/rice/potato/pasta' sections. <-- if DH suggested a plate like this for me, I wouldn't take it well, though.
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Old 01-06-2013, 06:44 PM   #20
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Re: If your DH/SO successfully took weight off, how did you help?

Hehe. I asked DH. Here's what he said.

"Holly asked me what she did that was helpful while I was losing weight. Because I am annoying and wordy, I spat out a bunch of rapid fire info. Then I sheepishly asked if maybe it'd be more useful if I just wrote it down. For context -- I weighed somewhere around 175 when Holly and I got married. Six years of later, Holly was still skinny, but i'd popped up to about 225. A weigh in experience at a doctor's visit shamed me into weight loss, and a year later I'm down to a pretty happy 160. Here's the best stuff Holly did to help me:

Be complimentary when he hits good milestones -- or just when you notice him looking good! We brush it off, but we like to hear it. There's little better for positive reinforcement than knowing your wife is into you. And that can totally include being frisky.

Be flexible with schedule stuff. For me, a big part of losing weight was carving out enough time to walk (and eventually run) an hour or two a day. Holly and I worked together to figure out a way to put a new hour into our schedule. It involved giving up some time/activity on my part -- but it also involved sacrifice from her. If your guy is carving time out to get in shape, try not to make him feel guilty for the time he has to take out.

As a companion to that -- make sure you are being super honest with him if the new schedule *isn't* working. No husband wants to suddenly realize he is letting his family down by being absent.

Take part if he asks you to -- but don't insert yourself too much in an effort to be overly supportive. If he wants you to run with him -- great! If he is embarrassed and would rather do it by himself -- that's okay too. You might think that doing it with him will be encouraging because he will have a partner to keep him accountable; but it might just be scaring him away from getting serious because he's embarrassed by you watching him while he is painfully out of shape. I know you might be thinking "but he's my husband, I see him out of shape doing more than just jogging." Doesn't matter. For some guys, they might love having a team-mate in their weight loss activities. Others might just want to quietly do it on their own.

The food thing is a challenge. Most guys can get their brains around working out, because it is a very guy sort of thing to do. It even has "work" right in the name! Dieting, however, is far less easy to mentally deal with. Don't try to force your idea of a good diet on him, but help him look around for a good plan that might work for him. And be knowledgeable about the one he picks. For me, I didn't do any "special" diet. I just cranked down the calories I was consuming, and stopped eating junk. Holly smartly supported it, and did a great job of helping me find good ways to lower my calorie count and plan things out.

Here's probably the trickiest part -- there's a tough line between being helpful and being frustrating when it comes to keeping him honest about what he eats, or how much he is working out, etc. Holly was amazing about gently reminding me if I was straying without being either aggressively pushy or combative about it. I imagine this line varies depending on the nature of the guy and the fundamentals of how the two of you personally interact.

Holly did all the above, and it was all super helpful for me. But, if I am being very honest, knowing she was finding the thinner me even more attractive than the ... well, less thin me ... was always the best. Maybe that's pure vanity, but it is true nonetheless. Best motivator in the world. "
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