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Old 01-07-2013, 05:47 AM   #11
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Re: Health related question (not me)...

Thank you everyone for your suggestions! My mom normally calls me in the morning on her way to work so I will see if she says anything more. She might not. For her this is her worst nightmare and being down in Florida makes it worse. Not to mention that my aunt who is with my grandmother isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer (not that there is anything wrong with that... it just isn't ideal when playing "telephone" like this). I am going to try to find my grandma on Skype today as well as I think she would be best to say how things are.

I will let you know if I find out anything more.

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Old 01-07-2013, 07:22 AM   #12
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Re: Health related question (not me)...

She could be developing mild dementia.

It is fairly common for folks having this issue to eat less and drink less water.

If the doctor found her mildly dehydrated or no one could determine the last time she ate, that is probably the issue.

Sometimes they don't even know what happened. They sit down on the couch and think they took a nap, but they were out for hours.

You might just want someone to keep an eye on her over the next 3-6 months. If more odd signs pop up that seem randomly disconnected, be proactive and have a nurse visit or move her to assisted living. She is alone now and what often happens after a spouse passes is that all of the daily routines that used to get done because someone else was there no longer get done and she forgets.

Just normal old age stuff.

Good luck!
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Old 01-07-2013, 08:12 AM   #13
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Re: Health related question (not me)...

My grandmother has a routine now that her husband has gone. She was always the more "spunky" out of the 2. I remember my grandmother working (for instance). I have NO memories of my grandfather working (outside the house). She goes to church 3 times a week (Jehovah's Witness) and has other routines. Considering her age, she is really doing quite well and has a lot of "get up and go" in her.

My family (this side) has a long history of living in their home till they literally die. Her mother died of a heart attack (in the home), her MIL died of unknown reasons in her home (I remember that day well, I was about 14 at the time). The only one that was put into a facility was my great grandfather (grandma's FIL) and that was because of his Alztimers (sp?). He wasn't there long either before he died. Obviously my grandfather also died in the home. He did hospice till he died when he refused treatment for his cancer (he was already very weak by that point).

I think what bothered me most about this is it was my fear with getting pregnant again. I have 2 other grandmothers that are still alive, but neither of them I am close to. In fact one, I refuse to let my son meet (she is REALLY messed up!). I hated seeing my mother go through something that should have been so happy for her (the birth of her first grandchild that we could take home) and be torn between being here for me, and feeling like she needed to be in Washington for her father, and feeling like she really should work down in Florida to afford any of it. My mother made me promise that when grandma goes, that I find a way to go out there for the funeral. She understood why I couldn't with grandpa, but she said she needs me for this. I have no problem with that, provided I am not pregnant. I am my mother's only child.

Mom didn't call me today. I guess she doesn't know anything new. I will see if Grandma comes on skype soon.
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Old 01-07-2013, 11:38 AM   #14
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Re: Health related question (not me)...

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Originally Posted by 3 ladybugs View Post
My grandmother has a routine now that her husband has gone. She was always the more "spunky" out of the 2. I remember my grandmother working (for instance). I have NO memories of my grandfather working (outside the house). She goes to church 3 times a week (Jehovah's Witness) and has other routines. Considering her age, she is really doing quite well and has a lot of "get up and go" in her.

My family (this side) has a long history of living in their home till they literally die. Her mother died of a heart attack (in the home), her MIL died of unknown reasons in her home (I remember that day well, I was about 14 at the time). The only one that was put into a facility was my great grandfather (grandma's FIL) and that was because of his Alztimers (sp?). He wasn't there long either before he died. Obviously my grandfather also died in the home. He did hospice till he died when he refused treatment for his cancer (he was already very weak by that point).

Dementia is kind of like autism, it means a broad spectrum of disorders, but generally most elderly people develop some form of it. It doesn't mean that they have Alzheimer's (whose definitive diagnosis is still pronounced after a brain biopsy at death).

My grandmother was exactly the same way. Spunky, had a great life of church and family in the years after my grandfather passed away, but she was 12 yrs his junior so she lived a good 25 years all by herself with no problems.

I stopped by to visit her on my drive out to Vermont from California (she lived in TX) and was with her for 3 full days before I noticed anything amiss. I got up one morning and she had a pan going. I said grandma did you just cook breakfast? She says nope. I ate hours ago. OK. So I shut the stove off. She just forgot. No problem. The next day after coming in from a long walk, I saw the phone off the hook. I said grandma, did the phone fall or did you take it off the hook? She said a man called trying to sell her something so she left it off the hook. Nothing odd about that though I did wonder how long it had been off the hook. As soon as I hung it up, it rang. I picked it up and it was my aunt. She asked us where we had been. She had been calling for 3 hours and wondered what we were doing. So I knew how long the phone was off the hook. Hmmm...

But otherwise, nothing special in my week long visit. Just odd things. I did tell my aunt then that I thought someone should just swing by and check on her once a week or so, just to make sure she was ok. She laughed. Nothing's wrong with that crazy old woman. G-d is afraid to call her home. ok then.

2 years later, my aunts and uncles all loaded up in their cars and moved grandma back to California from TX because she needed more attention. 12 years later, she now lives with my aunt (the one who called that day) and she needs round the clock care. My aunt swears she will out live us all, but grandma cannot take care of herself anymore. Healthy as a horse, just too much forgetfulness to be alone.

It is different for every person, I get that. My grandfather's sister lived alone until she was 96 and then her 94 yo sister moved in. They took care of each other until the older one passed away 8 years later.

Just saying. If you notice other odd things, you may just want to keep a closer eye on her. She may not even know she needs help. Everyone ages differently. My other grandmother had a stroke at 56 and never woke up again. Complete opposite experience with her.

I wish you and your family the best.
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