If you vacation without kids...

[kimb96]

Dh's sister and bil take ds several times a year for a few days to a week at a time. He spent 3 nights with them over Christmas break. They do not have children of their own. My parents have taken ds for a night or two but my mom is battling leukemia so they aren't able to anymore. Dh is 53 so his parents are older. Mil has been in a wheelchair for 10 years and fil took care of her until he died 2 years ago. They were never able to take ds but sil lives close by and would take ds to their house every day when he stays with them.

I don't think it's a cultural thing, every family is different. Growing up, my sisters and I got to stay with my mom's parents for a week each in the summer. We lived 4 hours away and didn't get to see them a lot so that week was a real treat. They would only take one of us at a time so my parents still had the other two. My parents didn't take a single vacation without us growing up. My dad's mom worked full time so she couldn't take us for extended periods. I have fond memories of all my grandparents even though I didn't spend lots of extended times with them.

I try my best to accept my family as they are. You can't change people and dwelling on it just causes family strife. My mom favors my sister's kids and it used to burn me up. It is what it is. My mom is a great grandmother and ds isn't aware of her favoritism. He thinks the world of her. My mom is oblivious to how she treats the grandkids. Everyone else sees it but she doesn't.

Dh and I have taken 4 weekend getaways without ds. It is nice. We have enjoyed it. I try to connect with dh daily, not just on weekends away from ds. It takes work. There have been times in our marriage when all we talked about was ds. That's not healthy. We do make time for each other almost every day after ds goes to bed. Sometimes it's the rest of the evening, sometimes it is just 15 minutes.

Do you have any friends that would be willing to watch your kids? I wouldn't hesitate to ask my best friend but she does work. I have taken her dd when she had surgery. We are close and I know she would help us out if I asked.

[SaraElise]

It didn't happen often, maybe once every few years when my dad was already going somewhere fun on a business trip and just had to pay for my mom, but we would stay at grandparents.

I know DH's family on the rare occasion his parents would go somewhere split the kids up between different family and friends because no one was will or able to take all 9 of them.

I'd love to do something with DH eventually, maybe a cruise, but not until the kids are older. I've had a hard enough time leaving them at home with DH for a weekend, I can't imagine leaving them with someone else for a full week while they are still so little. (not that there is something wrong with doing that, *I* just have a hard time with it)

[photocat]

We went skiing/snowboarding last winter and the boys went in ski school, youngest ds was just old enough. That gave dh and I time during the day by ourselves, but beyond that, I'm with ya, no one I'm happy leaving my kids with for extended periods of time, hours yes, days and nights no.

[Madame Medina]

I've not read all the previous post. But my husband and I switch off with a good friend of ours. It works out so that we each of us gets two long weekends each year. Last year when money was tight neither of us went anywhere. We stayed at home while the kids went to other couples house. It was nice. I never knew our house could be so quiet.

[luvsviola]

We just can't. DH and I would love to go on a cruise for our 10 year anniversary. My mom said no, and DH's mom passed away.

We did a week in Florida alone when DD was 2, but now that there are 3 kids, and my mom is my full time daycare the rest of the time, she needs the school breaks to recover herself.

We can't afford to take all 3 kids, so we are just getting a sitter and going to dinner.

[Suzi]

Like a pp said I would try to find a good friend that you would be to watch their kids for a week.

This is one area where divorce is handy since my ex and his wife are great about rearranging schedules to let us (and them) have time alone together. My parents and fiance's parents are also great help. My youngest is autistic so I'm pretty particular at who can handle him for a long period of time.

One of my good friends has 3 boys. Often I will take 1 or 2 and their aunt will take the 3rd one. Once I had the 3 boys for a long weekend and then the aunt had all 3 for 3 days. My friend has had my oldest for plenty of sleepovers and has us over for dinners at their house regularly so I was happy to do it for her.

And I think vacations for just the parents is fabulous! As a now divorced parent I think it is soooo important for parents to really focus on the stability of their marriage and not just the role of parents.

[eahcapemay]

Wait until they are all old enough for sleep away camp? Lol. My mom wouldn't let me go to camp until I was 13 almost 14 because she would miss me so much. I was dying to go and had a blast when I went. I still don't understand how she felt. Sure I would miss DS but he would have a good time and I would have 4 to 8 weeks of easy living.

[kimb96]

Try a cruise for the whole family. We did a cruise in august and it was the best family vacation we've taken. DS loved the kids club and they had lots of scheduled activities. Dh and I got to do some adult only activities while ds was in the kids club. They would even feed the kids at mealtimes in the kids club. Ds would have spent the entire time in the kids club if we let him.