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Old 01-10-2013, 08:21 PM   #31
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Re: So tired of the screaming/crying!

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I am right there with you mama. Since she turned 5 it's been major draaammmmma city. Sad face, whining, saying "all you ever want to do is make me SAD!" Oy!

The only thing I have found that helps is to be super silly when she gets the whinies and fussies. Like i will respond to her in a very exaggerated whine, complete with sad knuckles dragging on the floor and it usually gets her giggling and in a better mood. I learned that trick from the book Playful Parenting. Being playful is generally the last thing I feel like doing but it usually lightens the mood a bit :-)

I know you were looking to just vent and not give advice but sometimes I can't help myself. When mine complain about snack options I just say in a dull uninterested voice "okay, don't eat." and go about my business. That usually stops the complaining about food and they just eat whats there.

Okay, no more advice...I personally hate the screaming and whining and general drama queen stuff, so I can relate to what you're dealing with!
I will do that sometimes. Except... when he starts whining/crying, I will look at my oldest DS and say, "Dang! Do you hear that?!" And act like I can't find where the noise is coming from. It usually atleast gets a smile... then sometimes it backfires and he gets even more angry because he feels like I was picking on him, lol. I can't win with that kid!

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Old 01-10-2013, 08:23 PM   #32
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Re: So tired of the screaming/crying!

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If its been happening with your pregnancy maybe it's really an insecurity about the changes coming with a new baby...I'm not sure how to figure that our, but maybe try some one on one time talking to him about it? And then just consistency I guess, and giving a lot of positive attention any time he behaves respectfully.

Can you get his daddy to step in some too? Sometimes DH has to "protect me" from my emotional response to DS. My mom told me once that God gave us husbands to protect us from our kids (not sure what that says about me & my brothers, lol)
Honestly... I think it has a little to do with the baby. He asks often "How much longer until we get our baby." The time is getting shorter, I'm getting bigger, and his behavior is getting worse. I think he is anxious about what changes it is going to bring, but doesn't know how to express it.

I would love for my husband to step in, but really... I think that's 3/4 of the problem. I run to him often because I get too angry, don't wanna deal with it anymore, etc. Then dad comes in, lays down the slap hand, and it's done. They KNOW that he's all about business... so they don't really "fear" me, or think that I will do anything, which is why I've GOT to be consistent in my punishments, which is what I've been doing lately... hoping that it starts to work soon!
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Old 01-10-2013, 10:08 PM   #33
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Could it be he's just not handling the transition back to school very well? We are going through this with our 5 year old right now. She returned to school on Tuesday. Every morning has been a battle over what to wear, then I deal with tears when I'm dropping her off (which is very very unlike her.) When I pick her up, I get to deal with dirty looks, crossed arms, and stomping feet because she doesn't want to leave school (note the tears I JUST dealt with 3 hours prior.)

She's been an emotional bundle of joy at home. Lots of meltdowns, fits, screaming, etc. Bedtime has been awful, which certainly isn't helping us the following morning. I'm trying really hard to just ride this out, with the hope that she'll get back in to the swing of things by next week. This behavior is extreme, even for her dramatic personality, so I just try to remind this is temporary! And, in the meantime, I'm treating my pregnant self to some good ole Ben & Jerry's phish food at the end of the day!
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Old 01-10-2013, 10:17 PM   #34
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Re: So tired of the screaming/crying!

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Could it be he's just not handling the transition back to school very well? We are going through this with our 5 year old right now. She returned to school on Tuesday. Every morning has been a battle over what to wear, then I deal with tears when I'm dropping her off (which is very very unlike her.) When I pick her up, I get to deal with dirty looks, crossed arms, and stomping feet because she doesn't want to leave school (note the tears I JUST dealt with 3 hours prior.)

She's been an emotional bundle of joy at home. Lots of meltdowns, fits, screaming, etc. Bedtime has been awful, which certainly isn't helping us the following morning. I'm trying really hard to just ride this out, with the hope that she'll get back in to the swing of things by next week. This behavior is extreme, even for her dramatic personality, so I just try to remind this is temporary! And, in the meantime, I'm treating my pregnant self to some good ole Ben & Jerry's phish food at the end of the day!
I honestly don't think so. He loves school. He hasn't said anything about not liking it (except today when I told him to put his folder in his backpack and close it). He really does enjoy it. This is not NEW behavior for him, it's just... a BILLION times worse in the last few weeks. It's just progressed to this point where now... it's constant.

I really can't help but blame myself, because one of the things that I am NOT supposed to be doing, is responding to his anger, with anger, and yet I do. I will do SO well for hours, and then I finally just lose it. This afternoon I was like, "Are you KIDDING ME!?" I just couldn't handle it anymore... I start huffing and stomping, and I finally just told him, "I need you to leave me alone for a few minutes. You really made me angry, and now I don't even care to talk to you."

It was a horrible thing to say, and an even more horrible way to react, but it is SO. FRUSTRATING. After HOURS of this I am worn out, and can't handle it anymore. I really think I am just going to have to be extremely calm with him, be consistent in my punishments, and just see if it... goes away. Ugh.
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Old 01-10-2013, 10:21 PM   #35
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Is it possible for you to a. Get a break and b. have some happy light hearted one on one time with him?
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Old 01-10-2013, 10:24 PM   #36
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Re: So tired of the screaming/crying!

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Is it possible for you to a. Get a break and b. have some happy light hearted one on one time with him?
A break is out of the question. I mean, I get a break from him from 7:30am to 2:30pm while he's in school.

One on one time with him is not really possible... I have no one to watch my other two kids, so it's just not really likely. :/ I've thought about maybe letting him stay up with me a bit later than the other two, and maybe watch a TV show with him or something, but I don't know if he'd really care for that. I'll have to come up with something.
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Old 01-10-2013, 10:56 PM   #37
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Re: So tired of the screaming/crying!

It sounds to me like he is just going through a phase, possibly related to the baby, but maybe not. My oldest, who is now 7, went through this at 5. I was so surprised because he was throwing serious tantrums at 5 and it seems totally off to me. 5 was too old in my inexperienced opinion to throw tantrums. Now he is 7 and still does it sometimes. Shows what I knew! Mine never did or does it for anyone else either. At 5, I was wondering if there was something more going on. But, it passed. He still does it every now and again, but not like at 5.

Anyway, I've talked to a lot of moms who's 5 year olds start showing this attitude and throwing fits over simple things. I was over at a friends house recently. Her son was acting up and she said, "I don't know what's up with him lately." To which I responded, "he just turned 5." She laughed but acknowledged that it was true. 5 year old are testing their parents in a different way and it is hard to deal with.

Just keep letting him know it's unacceptable to talk that way to you or to anyone else. I do have a much longer time out for my 5 year olds. I don't send them up for any less than 10 minutes, usually more. I don't really feel like 5 minutes is enough time for them to calm down and get over whatever was bugging them. At least, it isn't for my kids. And, if they come down still huffing and puffing, I send them right back up. That's just me. Every parent is different. It sounds like you are addressing it which is what is important. It may take time or you may have to change your strategy.

Oh and for him not doing the consequence, I don't let my kids get away with that. If they won't go to their room, I physically pick them up and take them. If they won't write sentences, they will sit there until they do. If they won't stay on the bottom step (where I sometimes have kids sit for time outs), I send them all the way to their room. Also, I tack on more. If I wanted you up in your room for 10 minutes and you throw a fit about going, you are still going, but now it's 15 minutes and will keep going up. My kids have to walk up without yelling disrespectfully on the way or I add 5 minutes for everything they say. If he won't write for 10 minutes, he can sit there until he does and he can write for 15 instead. I've found that upping the anty so to speak encourages them to take the consequence and do it without too much complaint.

I know you were just venting. When my son was 5, I felt the same way. to you!
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Old 01-10-2013, 11:00 PM   #38
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Re: So tired of the screaming/crying!

Thanks, Heather. I am definitely going to have to try different things to see if something else might work better. I'm anxious about this weekend, because it's hard enough to handle this behavior for 4-5 hours when he gets home from school before bed... I can't imagine how hard it is going to be dealing with it ALL weekend. We'll see.
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Old 01-10-2013, 11:10 PM   #39
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My friends daughter did this. The Happiest Toddler on the block worked well for her 5 yr old
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Old 01-11-2013, 12:46 AM   #40
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Can you move bedtime up a little? The fact that he falls asleep every time that he is in his room too long makes me think he might need a little more sleep. Maybe a growth spurt or something. Try moving it up 15 min at a time until you find a sweet spot.

My other suggestion is to try to be very matter of fact and non emotional. Don't let him have power over your emotions. It will just feed the behavior. Just be like, "this is the way it is. You did x, so now y happens." And stick to it.
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