Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-11-2013, 01:15 PM   #51
carriek38's Avatar
carriek38
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Ponyville
Posts: 9,213
Re: So tired of the screaming/crying!

Quote:
Originally Posted by leyash View Post
Okay... first of all, my kids do not eat a lot of junk food. Honestly, everyone just needs to get that out of the "reasons" that he's acting this way. I'm not trying to be rude being honest. Yes, there are days that he has substandard choices (I can't control what they serve at school), but 90% of the time, the things that he consumes is healthy. Lastnight for dinner he had strawberries, blueberries, string cheese, pomegranate, and half of a deli sandwich (lettuce, olives, pickles, cheese, turkey, wheat bread). THOSE are the kinds of things that he eats when he's at home. His behavior does not change, regardless of what he eats. On the days that he has pizza at school, vs. a chef salad, the behavior is still the same. I REALLY don't think it's what he's eating.
I think what others are suggesting, though, is that the results of cleaner eating are cumulative...that you wouldn't necessarily see a difference if he had his cheese and fruit and sandwich today vs Yoohoo & Pop-Tarts yesterday, but that in three months, after eating cleaner, with fewer preservatives, dyes, and refined sugars, that you might be surprised at the changes in his behavior.

And that might not work for your family, & that's fine, but if you've read more than a few threads around here, it's pretty predictable that cleaner eating is going to be suggested. Repeatedly. So is sleep. Partly b/c of the nature of DS, partly b/c of the pivotal place each of those things holds in a young kid's life.

Advertisement

__________________
Carrie. Wifey to F, Mama to Baby Bear, Nugget, and Teeny.
carriek38 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2013, 01:16 PM   #52
Blessed2005's Avatar
Blessed2005
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 1,397
My Mood:
Re: So tired of the screaming/crying!

I was gonna' say he sounded tired, but I guess you figured that out since he fell asleep. My DS will be 5 on the 16th, he is completely polite and pleasant......UNLESS he's tired. 5 is so hard, they are getting to old for naps and it makes bedtime hard, but sometimes it makes daytime HARDER.

Also, you don't get a "bad mom of the year award" we all get fed up with our kids at times and it's normal. Don't feel bad, anyone that doesn't admit to irritation with their kids is lying to you.

I didn;t read this whole thread b4 I posted, I saw a few food related posts....hope you aren't feeling beat up Mama. Hope I didn't add to it.
__________________
Ashley enjoying life with my husband and best friend Ross . SAHM to Sterling(7), Evie(4) and Abel(1). Life is GREAT!

Last edited by Blessed2005; 01-11-2013 at 01:41 PM.
Blessed2005 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2013, 02:18 PM   #53
leyash's Avatar
leyash
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 4,913
Re: So tired of the screaming/crying!

I wouldn't say I'm feeling beat up... it's just hard to hear. I feel like I am doing what I can, and I definitely try to make sure my kids are eating healthy as much as possible. I don't even know that eating HEALTHIER is possible for us, because we are on assistance as it is. I stretch that as far as it will go, and don't know that I could do any better, really. It's just hard to hear that regardless of how hard you are trying, you're STILL not doing as good as you could be.

Meh. I'm not taking it personally. I'm pregnant, and pissed off at the world. It's to be expected.
leyash is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2013, 07:38 PM   #54
nicolemariep's Avatar
nicolemariep
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Washington State
Posts: 1,273
Re: So tired of the screaming/crying!

Oh mama, I get it. My 4 year-old astounds me with the caliber of bratty tantrums he can throw. I just had my 3rd baby 3 weeks ago, and I was at the end of my rope for the last few weeks of my pregnancy. I don't know about you, but pregnancy hormones decrease my patience by about 75%.

I think you have the right ideas about punishments (time outs, writing sentences, etc), and some lifestyle tweaks (earlier bedtime, different food) may make a difference, but honestly, they may not. I don't think it's a problem-solution equation. I think it's a developmental stage that he's going through, and with consistent parenting it will pass.

Remember, you will get your patience back after the baby is born (not sure how much longer that is for you).

Hugs mama.
__________________
Nicole; spunky, sassy mama to my two little wild ones: Logan (9-08) and Liam (11-10) and Grayson (12-12)
I blog about the hilarity that comes along with raising my boys!
nicolemariep is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2013, 10:08 PM   #55
toys2teach's Avatar
toys2teach
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 1,257
My Mood:
Re: So tired of the screaming/crying!

My daughter is 4 ( also a middle child). She has a lot of similar behaviors and I have also looked into ODD. However I have decided that even if she shows signs of ODD I am convinced it is more my parenting. My other 2 kids just have different personalities than she does. I have to handle things differently with her. Like you, I have great intentions to remain calm through her tantrums, but then I find myself yelling and stomping around having my own tantrum. I mean seriously how can I teach her that her behavior is not ok when I react with the same kind of behavior?!?!

My advice would be stay as calm as possible and give him as much love and attention as possible. In the middle of fit I can ask my daughter if she wants to snuggle with me on the chair or play a game and she will say yes and her mood will completely change. It also have 2 other kids- they can play at the table with puzzles or color while her and I have special time. Each of our kids needs this one on one time every day. I am just now learning how imperative that is to their behavior.


Also I recommend the book Have a new kid by Friday. One thing he suggest is not letting your kids argue with you. You want a peaceful home. Like another poster said, when her kids complain about snack she says "ok then don't eat" and says this very calmly and walks away. After that you don't talk about it again. You ignore them completely on the subject. They know your choice and you will not let them argue with you about it. I love the theory- I need to try it more in my home actually!

Hang in there mama!
__________________
Montessori/Waldorf inspired toys. Kid friendly nativity sets,educational games,stacking puzzles,matching/sorting/counting games and more!
http://www.etsy.com/shop/made4munchkins?ref=si_shop
toys2teach is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2013, 08:49 AM   #56
mcpforever's Avatar
mcpforever
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Bama
Posts: 11,738
My Mood:
Re: So tired of the screaming/crying!

For all of my kids, we have behavior issues if there isn't enough protein and fat to balance out the carbs. It doesn't matter if the carbs are from whole grain, fruit, or brown rice. They still struggle if they don't have the protein and fat to prolong their energy and avoid the low blood sugar crash.

I know you said that your DS still slept less for 6 days during your break, but he was on break and not being worn out by the demands of school. My 4K and 5K kids are like that. Unless we are just going nonstop during break time, they tend to need less sleep when they aren't at school. And remember: sleep begets sleep. Some kids have a time they are always up in the morning regardless of when they went to bed, so you (general) have to work backwards from that if that is the case.
__________________
Melissa-Wife, mother to DS 4/02 and DD 4/07, DS 7/08 DD 7/13
ISO: my lost shaker of salt
mcpforever is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2013, 10:16 AM   #57
leyash's Avatar
leyash
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 4,913
Re: So tired of the screaming/crying!

He is in the diningroom writing sentences for 20 minutes now. He's been sent to his room twice, and stood in the corner four times. This is just in the last couple of hours.

It's going to be a long day. I'm already exhausted, and I have a lot to do today.
leyash is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2013, 10:19 AM   #58
leyash's Avatar
leyash
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 4,913
Re: So tired of the screaming/crying!

The oldest also has been sent to his room twice. It's going to be a LONGGGG weekend, but I am hoping that if I can remain absolutely consistent, without showing anger (which is hard for me), then I will see results next week... if not sooner.
leyash is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2013, 11:56 AM   #59
leyash's Avatar
leyash
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 4,913
Re: So tired of the screaming/crying!

Now it's my oldest today!

I went out in the garage to help my aunt bring in a shelf that she wants DH to work on/fix. Anyway, I walk back into the house, and I see my DS1 punch DS2 in the stomach. They were playing... DS2 had DS1 in a headlock, and DS1 was punching him in the gut.

Number one, DS1 is significantly older/bigger. He's 11, DS2 is 5. So, he's been told NUMEROUS times to keep his hands off of him, because even playing, he can still hurt him. That's the SECOND time today I've had to say something (normally, this isn't a huge issue most of the time).

This morning I was like, "well, I think I am going to take them to the park to get rid of some energy" because they obviously have loads of it today. It's rainy, cloudy, wet, etc. So obviously that is not going to work.

Now DS2 is in the corner because he didn't put the lightsaber up like I told him to (because he's chasing DS3 around with it), so I took it and put it away FOR him and told him he'd be lucky if it didn't go in the trash (he was walking around hitting things with it). So he proceeded to scream and cry... so off to the corner he went. He's been in there about 3 minutes and he's done crying... but he's still staying there until I'm ready.

DS1 is sitting in the chair in the livingroom (about 10 feet from me) because I told him to put the dog in her kennel because she wasn't listening to me (seems to be a pattern around here today!), so he nudged her with his knee while he was putting her in there. She's a larger lab/pointer mix, so it didn't hurt her, but it's beside the point. He wouldn't be paying the vet bill if he WERE to hurt her, I would. Not to mention it's unacceptable because you don't hit animals, and she didn't deserve it. The kennel IS her punishment. Anyway, so now he's sitting there until I can think of something to punish him with. Nothing really seems harsh enough at this point.

I'm absolutely frustrated. Just wanted to give you guys a play by play of what weekends look like for us. Regardless of how consistent I am, regardless of what kind of punishments I use, nothing is working. Try as I might, I have not reacted in anger today, and it seems to be worse today than the last 3-4 days. They just AREN'T listening.

This post took me about 20 minutes to write, due to needing to be a parent. I. am. so. frustrated.
leyash is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2013, 11:00 PM   #60
MamaWillow
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Southern Oregon
Posts: 4,584
My Mood:
Re: So tired of the screaming/crying!

Mama, I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time with them. It sucks, especially being pregnant.

So this morning they were awful...just to stick with the eating theme here, do you remember what they ate for breakfast? Is it possible they didn't eat enough, or not enough of the right stuff, so everyone is in a bad mood? I'm just asking since you did mention that pop tarts are for breakfast, and yoohoo, etc. My kids are a total wreck if they have even a teaspoon of maple syrup on french toast. They can't handle a lick of sugar in the morning. If they don't have a decent breakfast, they will all be running around misbehaving, screaming, and completely falling apart by 9am. And by a decent breakfast I mean protein (an egg or sausage) and whole grain (oatmeal, brown rice, whole grain toast). Fruit, syrup, or anything sweet in any way is a deal breaker and throws them all off. I know you don't think your kids eat a lot of junk, but just think about what they had for breakfast and how they are acting today.

I am also pretty intolerant to anything bad they do if I haven't eaten right. It's hard because I am so busy, and I may not feel hungry, or it's often just easier to not eat because I don't feel like I have time. But I can really feel myself getting edgy when I need to eat something substantial, like eggs or toast or oatmeal. Cold cereal just makes me feel even crabbier. I'm pretty sensitive to carbs and have to get the right protein/carb ratio in order to feel right. It took me many years to figure this out. Just a thought, they may not be so terrible if your patience wasn't stretched thin.

And the other thing is that I notice if I'm edgy at all, my kids pick up on it and it's all a disaster around here. They can sense when I'm in a bad mood, or whatever, and it rubs off on them. When that happens I just have to change the scene: go somewhere, get out, go for a walk, go to the mall, the library, whatever to change the scene and sort of wipe the slate clean. When we stay at home all day we all end up cranky and cooped up. Even on a rainy/cloudy/nasty day, we will get bundled up with rain boots and at least go for a quick walk. Make it an adventure...take a magnifying glass or a jar or two and look for interesting things: bugs, leaves, flowers, etc. Just 15 minutes outside can really reset their moods. Then if they are cold and wet, come in and have a nice warm bath, that's always fun.

Just some ideas, hopefully something may help. I wish nothing more than for you to have some peace and happiness!
__________________
Rachel, SAHM to a 9yo teenager , a 4yo charmer , and a toddling koala bear , and wife to my hard-working hubs. Mostly AP, co-sleeping (with all 3!), BFing, quite crunchy, thrifty, curly-haired mama. Loving my life.
MamaWillow is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.