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Old 01-09-2013, 08:43 PM   #1
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UPDATE - I need to get a grip and chill out

Here are some pics/story of everything else that has been going on. (so ppl can understand what I am talking about)


Today I feel better. I boo-hoo cried like a little baby last night. I cried so long and hard my eyes swelled. This morning I looked like I'd been in a bar fight, but without the bruises. lol.

I feel a bit better. One day at a time.

Thanks mamas. For reading and caring.

*************


I need some tips to help me get back right in the parenting game. I need to get grounded again.

I am mega overloaded with crappy, unavoidable "life" stuff right now, and my poor kids are really suffering as a result. Not only are they getting less attention than they need and deserve, but my personality already is typically very impatient and sarcastic, so I am having a near impossible time toning it down and checking myself.

My almost 6 yr old, who is my clone, is very emotional, impatient, and is clearly affected by all the random craziness we are dealing with, and she is bearing the brunt of my frustration b.c I just cannot handle her personality right now.... I can't even handle my own...

Tonight, I helped her clean her room and it was peaceful until I threw away a BROKEN hairclip and she had a meltdown. Over a BROKEN hairclip. It was well past bedtime. She and I are both already stressed out. And normally I would have just talked it out with her, but she just kept screaming. So I gave up and let her throw her fit in her room. It took an hour and a half for her to calm down, but she did come apologize. At that point, I was so embarrassed by her behavior (my in laws are here and they never visit and don't "get" kids), and so angry with myself for not handling it well, that I couldn't even graciously accept her apology. Instead I mumbled something, gave her a half-hearted hug and told her to go to bed.

I suck. I feel like I am ruining my kids. Oh, and I know I am being melodramatic. I don't mean to be. I just can't help it. Everything feels one hundred times bigger than it is b.c I am 31 wks pregnant.

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Old 01-09-2013, 08:48 PM   #2
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Re: I need to get a grip and chill out

Totally there with you. Also pregnant and hormonal, lacking sleep, upheaval in our lives, and being a harsh mommy. I hate it.
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Old 01-09-2013, 08:54 PM   #3
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Re: I need to get a grip and chill out

my kids deserve so much more than I am capable of right now. I am so disappointed with who I am for them lately. I wish I could fast forward six weeks so this insanity would be over and we would be back to taking trips to the park and homeschooling and story books... not screaming matches and bath time battles and mealtime issues. Ugh. I am sorry to vent. I think I do that a lot lately on here.

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Totally there with you. Also pregnant and hormonal, lacking sleep, upheaval in our lives, and being a harsh mommy. I hate it.
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Old 01-09-2013, 09:20 PM   #4
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Totally there with you. Also pregnant and hormonal, lacking sleep, upheaval in our lives, and being a harsh mommy. I hate it.
Me too. To some extent it won't settle down til you're less stressed. A break really helps me. An afternoon to myself, a bubble bath, whatever to help me recharge.
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Old 01-09-2013, 09:27 PM   #5
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I understand. We just moved our household and the kids had nonsense to shoulder. What can we do? Try for a better day tomorrow. Like geckmum said in a different thread, imagine what you can do to make life better for each member of your family (you, too) and aspire to it every day. The kids are going to be ok. My daughter had a breakdown tonight because I wanted her to wear a white T-shirt to bed. Ummmm ok. I told her she was going to have to get over it. We can't talk our drama girls through every single roller coaster ride.

I hope you have an easy Zen delivery when the time comes.
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Old 01-09-2013, 09:32 PM   #6
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Re: I need to get a grip and chill out

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r. What can we do? Try for a better day tomorrow. Like geckmum said in a different thread, imagine what you can do to make life better for each member of your family (you, too) and aspire to it every day..... We can't talk our drama girls through every single roller coaster ride.

I hope you have an easy Zen delivery when the time comes.
Ok your post made me cry. Thank you I am obviously severely sleep deprived lol.
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Old 01-09-2013, 09:50 PM   #7
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I'm sorry mama. I'm feeling the same way right now and I'm not even pregnant. Hope it calms down for you soon. Hugs!
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Old 01-09-2013, 10:39 PM   #8
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Re: I need to get a grip and chill out

You're pregnant and your in laws are there. You deserve a medal for not gutting and broiling everyone.
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Old 01-10-2013, 07:48 AM   #9
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Re: I need to get a grip and chill out

Oh mama!! I wish I could give you a giant hug and then we can trade problems for awhile. A change of pace might do us both good!

After the kids go to bed every night, I sit down and have a really hard time not beating myself up over how I handled this thing or that thing and it usually involves the kids. I feel terribly inadequate as a parent because so little of me is left by the time I get home from work. We have had a lot of stress in our lives and a lot of things happening out of our control and it makes DH and I snippy with our kids and sullen with each other.

And it's the dead of winter. I hate winter. I had horrible morning sickness all of last winter and everything about winter reminds me of that time and how miserable it was.

I wish I had some awesome piece of advice that could help both of us. I guess all I can do is wake up every day and vow to have a better one. One of my resolutions this year is to play with my kids more often. Last night I was on track to do this and I was at the piano playing and singing to the kids and my oldest was getting really bossy, so I quite playing, then she begged me to come back, and by the time we were done I realized I wasn't listening to her and doing my own thing, so I can see why she seemed bossy. *sigh* So even my best laid plans aren't going quite how I played them out in my head.

I need a break but one isn't coming anytime soon. So, the best I can do is vow to make today a better day. Do one better than the day before, then one better the next day. That's all I got.
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Old 01-10-2013, 07:54 AM   #10
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Re: I need to get a grip and chill out

I feel you here. I sat in my bathroom and cried lastnight because I actually told my oldest DS I was tired (literally, exhausted) of parenting them. All of this started because I had to tell him THREE TIMES to go to bed. The first time, I walk in and he's coloring... in bed. So I tell him to put the stuff away, it's time to sleep. NOT EVEN 3 minutes later, he's playing with a flashlight in the room. DUDE - REALLY?! I just don't understand why it's SO impossible to listen! It just really isn't that hard. Anyway, I cried and cried. Who the heck says things like that to their kid? Evidently I do. I've got to get some patience, and get this anger under control. I go from 0-60 in no time.

I'm 23 weeks pregnant... so hormones/fatigue are playing a big role, I'm sure.
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