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Old 01-10-2013, 12:41 PM   #1
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Need advice, quick, please!

I've been a lurking around for a bit and sorry for not introducing myself sooner, but time is of the essence now. I will try to make this as brief as possible. DS2 weaned a couple months ago and I got my first PP AF about 2 weeks ago. DH and I decided to start trying to have another one and I've been taking BBTs and monitoring my CM and based on my increase in EWCM I'm guessing I could ovulate any day here now. The reason we decided to try now is that I would like my kids spaced about 2 years apart, if possible. DS1 and DS2 both have birthdays at the end of October so if we had another, the due date would be around the beginning of October. Don't really want to try next month since that would put my due date right by my first 2 DS's birthdays. My Mom is really busy with her job from November-early January, and it helped so much with the last two having her visit for a bit when each of them was born. So, if I wouldn't get pregnant this month, we'd be looking at several months before we would try again. (We would have to wait until I would be due in Feb. or later.)
Here's the problem. . . I just found out yesterday that my sister is pregnant with her first baby. They aren't sure but she is probably about a month or so along. But you start counting weeks from the first day of your last AF, right? Which means that I would be due only a few weeks after her. I know it would be hard for family members to get off work to come and see my baby if they had just taken off to see hers. (We live 2 states away) Also, if we would have that close of due dates, would that mean I wouldn't be able to go see her and the baby when she gives birth since it's a 7 hour car ride? I also have lots of baby clothes that I could possibly loan to her but that wouldn't work well if we both ended up having the same gender baby at nearly the same time. They are a low-income family and could use the help.
But then the other part of me thinks about how I am getting older (I'll be 32 in May. . . I know, not ancient, but definitely not getting any younger--we want 1-2 more kids and I would prefer to be done before I'm 35) and shouldn't be waiting around to have more children. I didn't really struggle too much with conceiving the last two, but you just never know what might happen in the future. DS2 I conceived after ovulating on CD66 so that makes me kind of nervous for if I were to have irregular cycles again in the future.
I REALLY REALLY want to try for another baby but don't want to take away from my sister's moment either, or make things inconvenient on the family due to timing issues. My biggest fear is that I'll wait and then we'll have trouble conceiving later on for some reason. What should I do? TIA for any advice you can give me!

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Old 01-10-2013, 12:53 PM   #2
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Re: Need advice, quick, please!

hmm. That's a tough one. Not much help. I wonder would you still let your sister borrow your newborn clothes knowing you were going to need them in 5 months?

Since your sister is probably first she would still have her moment... if you are close with your sis it might be fun to be pregnant together.

32 is not old but I am 33 and trying to #2 and I think my progesterone is all out of whack. We have been trying for 4 months.

I can't decide. I think trying for a Feb baby is def not an issue. Maybe best for your mom to be able to help both of you out. With your kids close together she may help your sister out more with them so close together (it being her first) but it could also depend who your mom is closer with. But you also could give life a shot now and just see what happens. They say even with everything timed perfectly its still only about a 50% shot.

Your family sounds loving and supportive. I would imagine either way would work out okay.

Oh and about not being able to visit sis. That does stink a little, though it may not be too bad of a ride. Not the same but my SIL had her baby around 11pm. My DH went to the hospital but I did not because of my 5 month old was sleeping upstairs. At the time I did feel a little gypped. DS and i went to visit during the next day though and then I was fine for me. But something to think about.
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Old 01-10-2013, 01:04 PM   #3
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Re: Need advice, quick, please!

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hmm. That's a tough one. Not much help. I wonder would you still let your sister borrow your newborn clothes knowing you were going to need them in 5 months?

Since your sister is probably first she would still have her moment...

32 is not old but I am 33 and trying to #2 and I think my progesterone is all out of whack. We have been trying for 4 months.

I can't decide. I think trying for a Feb baby is def not an issue. Maybe best for your mom to be able to help both of you out. With your kids close together she may help your sister out more with them so close together (it being her first) but it could also depend who your mom is closer with. But you also could give life a shot now and just see what happens. They say even with everything timed perfectly its still only about a 50% shot.

Your family sounds loving and supportive. I would imagine either way would work out okay.

Oh and about not being able to visit sis. That does stink a little, though it may not be too bad of a ride. Not the same but my SIL had her baby around 11pm. My DH went to the hospital but I did not because of my 5 month old was sleeping upstairs. At the time I did feel a little gypped.
Thanks for your reply! I suppose you're right about the clothes. Might work just to help her do some garage saling. My sister lives in the same town as my parents, so they would get to see her baby pretty much all the time. Part of me thinks we should just give it a go, and if it's meant to be it'll happen. Do you know what the rules are on car travel in your last month of pregnancy? Thanks again for your input. Will definitely be pondering everything you've mentioned. :-)
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Old 01-10-2013, 01:09 PM   #4
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I'm gonna be no help. I say just make a baby!!! All the stuff you mentioned sounds so trivial. That's just my opinion and it's not meant to sound snarky!
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Old 01-10-2013, 01:13 PM   #5
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Re: Need advice, quick, please!

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Thanks for your reply! I suppose you're right about the clothes. Might work just to help her do some garage saling. My sister lives in the same town as my parents, so they would get to see her baby pretty much all the time. Part of me thinks we should just give it a go, and if it's meant to be it'll happen. Do you know what the rules are on car travel in your last month of pregnancy? Thanks again for your input. Will definitely be pondering everything you've mentioned. :-)
There are no rules, frequent stops =) We are from 8 hours away - I did the drive in my 3rd trimester as well as when the baby was 2 weeks old - expect it to take longer (I think 8 hours turned into 11-12 hours with all of the walking around/nursing/peeing but not terrible).
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Old 01-10-2013, 01:14 PM   #6
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Re: Need advice, quick, please!

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Thanks for your reply! I suppose you're right about the clothes. Might work just to help her do some garage saling. My sister lives in the same town as my parents, so they would get to see her baby pretty much all the time. Part of me thinks we should just give it a go, and if it's meant to be it'll happen. Do you know what the rules are on car travel in your last month of pregnancy? Thanks again for your input. Will definitely be pondering everything you've mentioned. :-)
with sis in the same town as your mom I'd say go for it. I really wanted to get pg during the last 4 months so I am really bummed. This month we have to take off. Will ttc next month, but then maybe will take another month or 2 off before going full steam ahead again (but that is just for selfish reason of me not liking the due date). It really stinks not getting pg when you want to.
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Old 01-10-2013, 02:01 PM   #7
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Re: Need advice, quick, please!

Thanks, ladies, for all your advice. I was sure everyone would come on here and tell me how selfish I was being. I appreciate your reassurance!
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Old 01-10-2013, 02:04 PM   #8
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Thanks, ladies, for all your advice. I was sure everyone would come on here and tell me how selfish I was being. I appreciate your reassurance!
It's def not selfish at all!!
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Old 01-10-2013, 02:06 PM   #9
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Re: Need advice, quick, please!

Honestly, I would just relax and ttc. When it happens is when it is supposed to happen and all the other stuff will work out just fine.
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Old 01-10-2013, 02:33 PM   #10
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Re: Need advice, quick, please!

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Honestly, I would just relax and ttc. When it happens is when it is supposed to happen and all the other stuff will work out just fine.
I would say, just take it one step at a time and when you and DH feel personally (not looking at others) ready then go for it. You're not being selfish at all. I just know for me personally I would just try when my husband and I are ready without thinking of others because I know that things don't always work out the way we want or plan. Everything will fall into place eventually and you just deal with it as it comes.
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