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Old 01-17-2013, 07:05 AM   #51
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Re: Do you clean your teen's room?

No teenagers yet. But, I think it is our responsibility as parents to teach them about cleaniness and the importance of it. It will help them become self sufficient and self responsible and even aware of the importance of cleanliness.

I still clean the girls' rooms, but at age 5,6, and 9 they understand why I have to clean. It started when they wanted to do something, but I had to clean. They said you just cleaned why are you doing it again? I told them it was almost 2 weeks ago and it needs to be cleaned frequently or bugs, dust, and other nasty stuff starts to breed and grow. I showed pictures of dirty rooms and what can grow. They were disgusted and now are a little too much on top of my cleaning, lol. They are starting to do more cleaning on their own, but we don't have strict chores for them. I'm not one for telling, but teaching. Through the teaching, they become more self reliant and willing to do clean on their own. Instead of it being a dreaded chore they have to do.

I don't think having him keep his dirty clothes in the hamper, weekly dust, trash can empty, and vaccuum is expecting too much at all.

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Old 01-17-2013, 07:14 AM   #52
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Re: Do you clean your teen's room?

My first question is why are YOU doing a teens laundry?
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Old 01-17-2013, 07:18 AM   #53
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Re: Do you clean your teen's room?

At a minimum he has to put his dirty laundry in its place (where ever that is in your house) and the dirty dishes in the kitchen on a regular basis (how often you want that to be).

I remember my mom telling me i had to clean my room once in a while, more as a pre-teen. As a Teen I think I kept it neat enough.

Do you vacuum on a certain day. Maybe he has to have his room picked up enough for you to vacuum by that day.

My 3 year old helps pick up the playroom most evenings. He doesn't spend enough time in his bedroom for it to get messy.. but when we get undressed in the evening he puts his clothes in the hamper.
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Old 01-17-2013, 07:48 AM   #54
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My first question is why are YOU doing a teens laundry?
I choose to do all the family laundry. I don't want my washer messed up.
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Old 01-17-2013, 10:05 AM   #55
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Re: Do you clean your teen's room?

I do not clean my 8 year olds room. I will vacuum it when I vacuum the rest of the upstairs once a week and help him dust it every few weeks. I expect his room to be tidy. His bed has to be made daily, his books have to be in their place on the bookshelf and his stuffed animals need to be in their basket. He has no other toys in his room. His backpack is to be on the hook by his dresser and his dirty clothes go in the hamper. He's been doing this since he was 4. I don't mind doing his laundry but he has to put it away.
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Old 01-17-2013, 10:14 AM   #56
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Re: Do you clean your teen's room?

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I choose to do all the family laundry. I don't want my washer messed up.
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Old 01-17-2013, 10:33 AM   #57
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Re: Do you clean your teen's room?

ive never cleaned my kid's room. that's their job
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Old 01-17-2013, 10:35 AM   #58
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Re: Do you clean your teen's room?

ds1's chore is starting and switching over the laundry. when the basket in the bathroom gets full he does it. DH and i put away the laundry together and ds1 puts away his own laundry
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Old 01-17-2013, 11:42 AM   #59
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Re: Do you clean your teen's room?

So long as it's not hazardous to walk through or live in, I wouldn't cause a huge uproar either way. I would not clean a teenager's room. I think it's a huge disservice to your child and the people they will live with in the future.

Furthermore, starting at about 10, my daughter did not want people (adult or otherwise) rifling through her things. I was not allowed to do her laundry or fuss with her room. She kept an impeccable room and it wasn't my inclination anyway, but she just kept her dirty laundry (towels, sheets, and all) in a hamper in her room and told me that she would handle it, and then did. I certainly didn't fight her on it.

My oldest boys "lacked" her obsessiveness and compulsiveness but also kept their own rooms. If the floors were clear enough to walk, their dirty clothes were in the laundry, and nothing was "growing", I didn't harp on it. Before high school was out, they did the bulk of their own laundry. They both own their homes, now, and neither live in squalor.

My mom does not let my younger brothers (18 and under) use "her" washing machine, and they haven't the slightest idea how to do laundry (or cook for that matter, as she also calls the stove off-limits to them). I am thankful that she was not this way when the older two of the three "groups" of children were growing up. She is doing them a huge disservice that I'm glad was not done to me.

That said, my 7 year old's room is in a constant state of clutter. I'm failing him, I'm sure. Sigh.
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Old 01-18-2013, 12:50 AM   #60
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Re: Do you clean your teen's room?

DS is almost 14 (his birthday is on Monday) and as long as their is a clear path from the door to the bed, for safety, I let him keep his room however he wants to. It isn't a biohazard, as food is not allowed beyond the kitchen/living room, but it is definitely a disaster zone. That is how he chooses to live, and his room is his space. No matter how much I have him clean it, it goes right back to that, and I gave up trying to get him to keep it spotless. I do try to make him pick up once a month or so, and do a deep clean a couple times a year. If it tells you anything, we are moving on Monday and it has taken him 5 days to pack up his room. LOL I refuse to clean his room for him, though.

I have to say, though, that I was exactly the same way when I was a teenager. I can honestly say that I may be somewhat messy now (a couple soda cans on the coffee table, very mild clutter here and there), but our laundry is always done, the dishes are always done, and the house is always generally picked up. It definitely took me a lot of time as a young adult to train myself not to be a slob like I used to be, but I did it.

DS does his own laundry. I found that it is easiest for him if I buy him the "pods" so he doesn't have to deal with measuring liquid detergent. If he doesn't do his laundry often enough, a natural consequence is dirty clothes. If I notice he seems to be wearing dirty clothes, I simply ask him "do you need to do laundry?" That usually get a response of "Oh...yeah." lol DS also has other chores, which include washing his own dishes, putting away any clean dishes, feeding and watering the animals, and sweeping the kitchen floor when I ask. He also knows how to cook and bake, as well as how to sew and crochet. He is a very polite young man (opens the car door for me without ever being asked, always says "yes maam -or- sir" without being told to, etc), gets all A's and B's in school, and is such a sweet, generous soul. If a messy room is the worst thing I have to deal with in a teenager, I can live with that.
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