WYD- In Laws and House Down Payment

[essential1892]

My in-laws offered to pay a down payment on a house for us- they told my DH up to $50000.

Great, right! but here is the back story- we were going to buy their house. 4 years ago they put a huge in-law apartment addition on and we moved intot he main house. We took over paying the mortgage which included the amount for the in-law apartment. We were going to eventually outright buy the house. During the time we lived there we updated parts of the house and took care of all landscaping. My FIL went all mental and we finally had the last straw with his behavior and we moved out. We have been living in a rented townhouse for six months and would love to buy a house to move into when our lease is up in August. I do not talk to my in-laws due to how they treated me and have not talked to them since before we moved in July.

Today my DH was dropping the kids off at their house for a visit and my MIL said that they would give us up to $50000 for a down payment on a house

I am morally opposed to taking money from people who love to hold things over people's heads and brag about how their kids could never survive without their help as is my DH. I want to buy a house on our own without one cent from anyone and then rub my FIL's face int he fact that we did not need his help (spiteful, yes but he is not a nice man).

My question is, what would you do in this situation if $50000 was dangled in front of your face? Would you swallow your pride so that your kids would live in a nice home or would you stick to your guns?

[bumminbeachbabe]

I wouldn't be comfortable with any family member offering that kind of money to me and taking it.

With your history with them I'd decline as politely as possible.

[MintJulep]

In your situation I'd decline.

In my own I'd accept. We have a good relationship. If they offered I would feel bad saying no. But all situations are different.

[mamatoclaire]

If it were me and my family, I would love to accept a gift like that. But from what you say here:

Originally Posted by essential1892 I am morally opposed to taking money from people who love to hold things over people's heads and brag about how their kids could never survive without their help as is my DH. I want to buy a house on our own without one cent from anyone and then rub my FIL's face int he fact that we did not need his help (spiteful, yes but he is not a nice man).

I would run away! Buy a house on your own. This will only cause issues within your family, and that won't benefit your kids.

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[TryingHard]

I wouldn't take their money...

[mmmom]

My IL's gave us 10K towards our down payment but it was something they did for all their children using the money made from the sale of their childhood home.

In your situation I don't think I could do it. It seems kind of like a fool me once situation. They have already tried to control and now that they can't they need a new way in and it seems like they know a house is somewhat of a "weakness" so to speak

((((Hugs)))). Sorry for everything you have been through.

[chandni3]

I think you'll regret it if you take the money. They'll probably feel like they have a right to your home because they "helped pay for it". That they can advice you how to fix up or decorate your home or maybe even drop by whenever they want. It sounds like they'll throw it in your face all the time when you disagree with them and if things go sour again they could suddenly demand you pay them back. I think you'll feel so much better if you do this on your own.

[KrisM]

I would not take it. Seems like they'd hold it over you and continually remind everyone they gave it to you. That's not a gift.

[I_run_with_scissors]

under the circumstances you described, i would decline

[TeachinAuntie]

It sounds like your relationship is bad. If its as bad as you make it sound, I wouldn't take the money, of course, I wouldn't let them see my kids either.