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Old 01-19-2013, 01:43 PM   #1
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crying baby landlord issues WWYD/vent

I am fuming right now.

We have a 2 year old and 7 month old. The 7 month old has been having a patch of rough nights. Could be teething, could be new awarness of being able to call us in whenever she wakes up, could be that she's learning to crawl...who knows....but she is having rough nights. As all babies do at times. And by rough I mean like she'll wake up at 1:30 or 2 crying to nurse, then at 3 or 3:30 and (not hungry) cry on and off for 30 min/45 min before going back to sleep and then back to sleep. So its not AWFUL. Its not like hours upon hours of inconsolable screaming. But it's loud, it's a crying baby, we all know what that sounds like. We all know its not fun.

There have been maybe 3 or 4 nights of this (Not in a row). Our landlords (youngish couple with no kids) live below us. They have been complaining (their bedroom is right below the baby's) and asking us to take the baby out of her bedroom and move her into our bedroom, or switch her and her sisters bedrooms.

We haven't really been doing CIO (although we would if we had our own house) but kind of just letting her fuss for a few minutes to see if she'll settle, then going in to pat/give paci/reassure for a few minutes. But it almost makes things worse, as we all know the moment when you think you have them settled back down and so you tiptoe out only to hear 30 seconds later a shriek that is even harder to soothe than the first initial fussy cries. We're trying to be middle of the road about this. We don't want to nurse/rock her all night or co-sleep, but we know CIO would be rude to the downstairs neighbors so we are trying to teach her to settle in her crib, with help from mom and dad if needed.

I don't feel like we should have to do what our landlords are asking us to do. We are not a cosleeping family. There is no way that would ever work for us. When she was in our room in the bassinet, we all slept horribly as we'd all wake each other up all the time. Nor am I a nurse-all-night mom, for an almost 8 month old, and if she knew I was in the room all night, she'd be wanting me all night.

I also don't feel like we should have to switch our kids bedrooms. It would be such a pain, as we have our china cabinet in the baby's room (our apartment is TINY) and it would not fit in the toddler's room, nor could we put the toddler bed in the room with the china cabinet for obvious reasons.

My thoughts are we pay them $1275 for renting this tiny little place, and babies cry. so they can just deal with it, there are many ways they could deal with it without bossing us around. I feel like telling them don't tell me what to do, or where my children should sleep. These are my kids, not yours. If you don't like having people live above you, you shouldn't have bought a 2 family house.

I just want to be able to parent my kids the way I think is best and not have people trying to bully me about my little crying baby. SHE'S A BABY.

Am I out of line? My husband just called them and told them "We will continue to try to calm the baby down as quickly as we can but we won't be switching their rooms." He said our landlord just said "alright." and hung up. ugh.

I wish we could move. I wish NJ didn't have such high home prices or single family home renting prices. I am just so upset about this whole thing. WWYD?

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Old 01-19-2013, 01:50 PM   #2
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Re: crying baby landlord issues WWYD/vent

I had the same senerio with my last landlord. He refused to renew my lease. He could not handle the kids. His wife was worse. Not sure why they rented to people with children if they rented to people with kids if they could not handle kid type noises.

I would just do what you are doing but realize it is ultimately their place, not yours and they can not renew your lease. I learned the hard way. I loved my place too and tried to do what my landlord wanted.
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Old 01-19-2013, 01:55 PM   #3
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Re: crying baby landlord issues WWYD/vent

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I had the same senerio with my last landlord. He refused to renew my lease. He could not handle the kids. His wife was worse. Not sure why they rented to people with children if they rented to people with kids if they could not handle kid type noises.

I would just do what you are doing but realize it is ultimately their place, not yours and they can not renew your lease. I learned the hard way. I loved my place too and tried to do what my landlord wanted.
We will be moving when the lease is up anyway, we don't like the way they treat us. But that's in June
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Old 01-19-2013, 01:56 PM   #4
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Re: crying baby landlord issues WWYD/vent

Because they own your home, if I was in your shoes I would do what I could to not upset/anger them any further.
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Old 01-19-2013, 02:01 PM   #5
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Re: crying baby landlord issues WWYD/vent

I don't know, that's tough! $1200 here you would be able to rent a 4 or 5 bdrm house. Anyway, I see their point. Obviously, thy are being disturbed, or how would thy know. BUT, I think them asking for you guys to switch around bedrooms is out of line. I would try to talk to them a little bit more about the situation and see if you can come up with a comprimise. Did you two have children when you moved in? I can hardly feel sorry for them if they knew you had a baby (or two). I don't know what the laws are, but I would feel they have more of a duty to please you as renters (or customers) than they have as owners to fulfill their own needs. I would just reinterate to them you are trying your best, and it's just a phase. It won't last forever I'm sorry you have to deal with it!
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Old 01-19-2013, 02:02 PM   #6
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Re: crying baby landlord issues WWYD/vent

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Originally Posted by annaelise View Post
We will be moving when the lease is up anyway, we don't like the way they treat us. But that's in June
June is closer than you think!! Hugs
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Old 01-19-2013, 02:04 PM   #7
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That would really bother me. I would not go out of my way to accommodate them. They rented to people with kids, knowing you'd be right above them. They have to deal with it.

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Old 01-19-2013, 02:05 PM   #8
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Re: crying baby landlord issues WWYD/vent

Well, I bet if the landlords posted here and said "the people above us let their baby cry for 45 minutes at 3 am and it wakes us up and we have to work in the morning! We asked them to swap rooms or take the baby out and they won't" that people would advice them that the people with the baby are being rude and the landlord people should be sure to play loud music at naptime and bedtime to be sure they understand that the noise travels!

I think letting her cry on-and-off for 45 minutes is pretty long, personally. Maybe 5-10 to fuss back to sleep, but 45 min is a long time to keep neighbors awake with crying.

Can you have her sleep at night somewhere else? Does your older child wake up so much during the night that disturbing the china would be an issue? Can they just switch rooms for sleeping, but not playing? Or does the crib fit into your room? A pack-n-play in the living room?
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Old 01-19-2013, 02:09 PM   #9
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Re: crying baby landlord issues WWYD/vent

i'm guessing there isn't much sound proofing? Always my worry in apts, some places it's been a non issue and others you hear everything, and I can't imagine going back to that with kids.

if it was a bldg i'd be less concerned but if it's the actual owner and the sound proofing sucks, I think you should do everything you can until June. Imagine if you where them, would be OK with it?
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Old 01-19-2013, 02:11 PM   #10
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Re: crying baby landlord issues WWYD/vent

[QUOTE]
Quote:
Originally Posted by KrisM View Post
Well, I bet if the landlords posted here and said "the people above us let their baby cry for 45 minutes at 3 am and it wakes us up and we have to work in the morning! We asked them to swap rooms or take the baby out and they won't" that people would advice them that the people with the baby are being rude and the landlord people should be sure to play loud music at naptime and bedtime to be sure they understand that the noise travels!


Quote:
I think letting her cry on-and-off for 45 minutes is pretty long, personally. Maybe 5-10 to fuss back to sleep, but 45 min is a long time to keep neighbors awake with crying.
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