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Old 01-20-2013, 02:00 PM   #1
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Play date etiquette ??

Update in post 28

5 kids and we've never been invited to a 'playdate'. Till now! A mom from dd1 dance class invited dd1 to come play in 2 weeks. Besides church friends and very close friends we've never done this and I'm not sure what to do???

I stay with her right? I would NOT drop off and go personally....is that how these work??

Is only dd1 invited and what do I do with my other 4 kids? (She has 1 child).

Am I suppose to bring something? Snack? Gift? Help I know NOTHING about playdates!!

Oh and to complicate it all my dd is deaf and this family doesn't sign. Not sure how that will play out :/

Update in post 28

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Old 01-20-2013, 02:15 PM   #2
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Re: Play date etiquette ??

When we do playdates it is for mom + all kids to come over. Sometimes I bring a snack over or have snacks prepared for the guests coming over. Usually the kids all scatter and play and the other mama and I camp out on the floor with the littlest ones.
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Old 01-20-2013, 02:29 PM   #3
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Re: Play date etiquette ??

I would not bring your other children unless it was discussed ahead of time. We usually drop the Kidd at playdates. But, given your daughter's potential needs! I would probably plan to stay.
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Old 01-20-2013, 02:31 PM   #4
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How old is DD1? Can't see sigs from my phone sorry...

She probably does not expect you to stay if she is over 5 or 6. I doubt she wants 4 littles running around, especially since she only has 1. Does she know you have four other kids?

I would call and ask, or email. If DS was, say, 6, and I invited a friend of his for a playdate, I would not be happy if mom stayed with four other kids. JMHO

By then they are usually drop offs ( based on my friends with older kids).
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Old 01-20-2013, 02:37 PM   #5
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Re: Play date etiquette ??

Normally at 6 I would think the invite would be just for her and you. Usually by that age kids have friendships on a more personal level. With littler kids the invite is usually for everyone. Obviously given the situation you need to go. If you don't have anyone to watch your other littles. You need to clarify with the other mom that it's okay to bring them. I know how my house looks after a play date with 3 kids and a meal for the moms. It's a lot of work. Even when they help clean up. If I invited over one little girl and 4 more kids showed up I'd be a bit annoyed. If the mom told me a head of time I could prepare better.
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Old 01-20-2013, 02:45 PM   #6
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Re: Play date etiquette ??

I would send just her. If you have someone to watch the other kiddos then you could go to. My ds is non verbal and autistic and he usually does ok with play dates. I still want to go with him but I try not to unless I know it's a situation that will lead to him getting in trouble.

Let the mom know of a few important signs or bring a simple signing book for dd and them to use as a reference.
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Old 01-20-2013, 02:51 PM   #7
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Re: Play date etiquette ??

I wouldn't expect you to stay for a 6yr old playdate. If your daughter has developed a friendship with this other little girl who doesn't sign, she must have figured out some way of communicating?

In this situation I might expect the other mom to stay for a few minutes to make sure her daughter knew where our bathroom was and how to get in touch with me if there was a problem.

I bet she'll be fine. 6yr olds have pretty simple needs so I'm sure the other mom can figure it out for an hour or two.

So protocol.. Generally you take her to the door, communicate important info about how to reach you, what time to pick her up, allergies... usually by the time that is done the kids have run off to play...
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Old 01-20-2013, 03:22 PM   #8
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I agree with the others who say the mum is probably only expecting your daughter. But it doesn't hurt to talk to her and admit this is your first playdate for DD and ask HER these questions.

Do you have Skype? That might be a great way to have DD get a hold of you if there's a communication problem.

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Old 01-20-2013, 03:25 PM   #9
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Re: Play date etiquette ??

At 6 the other Mom is possibly assuming you'll drop your dd off. But since she's deaf, maybe not. If you're not completely comfortable dropping her off, call the Mom and ask if it is ok if you can stay for a bit to make sure she's ok (and let her know you have 4 other LOs that would need to come along). I personally never care if a parent stays for a playdate - I totally understand if we've never played with that child before. Many of dd1's first playdates were at the park so I could get to know the Mom a little bit before dropping her off. Basically - talk to the Mom. Any Mom is going to remember their first playdate and how nervous they were. Assuming she's a nice person, she will do her best to set your mind at ease.
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Old 01-20-2013, 04:08 PM   #10
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Re: Play date etiquette ??

Alternatively, I'd probably call and say that I have x extra kids and suggest that she & her daughter come over for a playdate/coffee, then after you see how they interact together (esp with the communication), you'll know whether you're comfortable leaving your daughter at her house or not. If they were in school together all day, I'd probably be a little less concerned, but since their only interaction is at dance class, I would be more cautious.
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