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Old 01-23-2013, 02:29 PM   #11
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Re: Lying manipulative one year old....

My daughter has done this a little bit, she is remembering and reenacting something that she remembers. She does it with lots of things, not just injuries. Like several times a day she will put on her coat and tell me "goodbye" when I ask where she is going she always says "Gabe's house (her cousin)" and then tells me he is sad, and has to go to sleep because the last time we were at their house he was crying and his mom put him to bed.

Certain people and things invoke memories for her and she replays them over and over and over again.

I wonder if one time she was pushed, so she is playing that over and over pointing to kids and acting like it happened. Not to get them in trouble, just because she remembers it happened once and doesn't have the words to say "hey remember when so and so pushed me?"

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Old 01-23-2013, 02:31 PM   #12
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Re: Lying manipulative one year old....

Or if she learned the first few times something DID happen that she could get the toy, now she is making connections that the behavior SHE exhibited got her that thing. Again not so much to get them in trouble, but to get her desired result of getting the toy.
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Old 01-23-2013, 04:02 PM   #13
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Wow - no advice, but that is downright debolical and hilarious and I'm sure, frustrating.

What a smart little girl you have on your hands!
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Old 01-23-2013, 10:51 PM   #14
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Re: Lying manipulative one year old....

Maybe try acting out her scenarios with dolls and see what happens? My DD will take a situation and play it out with her toys in crazy ways an hour after something happened. She's 3 though, so they're more indepth.
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Old 01-24-2013, 07:49 AM   #15
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Re: Lying manipulative one year old....

My 14-month-old does the exact same things you are describing. I think some of it is manipulation or exaggeration, as she is definitely our most dramatic and strong-willed child. But the majority, in my opinion, is tantruming. My DD will scream, throw herself down, and point at another child or the toy they are holding--to me that doesn't mean she is trying to make me believe the child took the toy and pushed her over, but rather that she wants it and wants it NOW! Or she will start screaming and flop over when one of the kids goes to play by her--I think she is just MAD they came over, not trying to convince me that they pushed her over.

Either way, I know she understands most English, as it sounds like yours does as well, even though she can't really talk yet. We didn't start timeouts with our older kids until around 18 months, but with this one we have been treating her tantrums like the older kids' tantrums. I say, "You are mad because ______, but you are not allowed to scream and cry about it. Go to your room (or any nearby room) until you calm down". She wll typically launch into an epic tantrum after the door is closed, but will calm after a few minutes. Then I go in and say, "You were in timeout for screaming. No screaming. Apologize to (whoever got screamed at, usually me)". She will give a hug and we move on.

The behavior has definitely decreased since we started doing timeouts for it. It's like she hit the Terrible Two's at 9 months. She has full-blown baby tantrums like I have never seen before in an infant--just like her siblings did at 2/3 years. But she is not hungry, hurt, wet, or tired--I checked all that when she started doing this a few months ago. She is just mad.

Anyway, like I said, my DD does everything you describe your DD doing, and I think it most likely frustration rather than manipulation.

ETA: My sister's son also had baby tantrums starting at 6 months, although her other kids didn't, so it's nice to hear we aren't the only ones . She actually did timeouts starting at 9 months old (once she figured out what was going on and he wasn't sick or hurt or anything). The behavior was virtually gone by his first birthday, BUT whenever she slacks about dealing with it the first time, he will revert back to screaming when he is frustrated and it takes him a few weeks to relearn how to stay calm. He is 5.5 now and still tantrums/screams worse than any child I have ever known, unless she stays on top of him about it (with consequences or rewards). Then he is the sweetest, calmest child

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