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Old 01-25-2013, 11:19 PM   #1
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Tearing & DTD?

:TMI::TMI::TMI:

Hoping somebody can give me some advice - I tore rather badly when I delivered DD. You'd think I'd be healed up after 16 months, but DH is kind of *ahem* sizable around, and it's putting the kibosh on one particular aspect of our adult lives. We can do lots of OTHER things, and he's enough of a gentleman that he'd probably be okay with just doing the other stuff indefinitely to avoid any discomfort for me... but I kind of miss it, and we DO want to have more kids someday...

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Old 01-25-2013, 11:44 PM   #2
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Re: Tearing & DTD?

Have another baby? That is the only thing that 'fixed' the problem for me. I tore really bad with my DS1, then I was stitched back together wrong. Couldn't squat for months, to pick the baby off the ground I had to kind of roll to the side, get on my knees and hold on to something to help me up :/ Then I had DD and it was awesome. I actually walked to my room after birth and was pretty much She stretched the scar and it was what was needed. Before you could feel this huge lump of scar tissue ( and tmi- when dtd it often felt like it was tearing and it was just terrible) now it is smooth and flat.
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Old 01-26-2013, 06:12 AM   #3
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Re: Tearing & DTD?

For me, it was around 2-1/2-3 years before I didn't cringe upon entry... it was like the first 5 minutes of sex were super uncomfortable and painful and then as long as he didn't pull out too far during sex, it would become better. It just felt like I was about to rip open at any minute. Then gradually, it became better! (happy dance!). (fwiw: I tore all the way back and some tearing to the front... I don't feel like the family doctor stitched me up that well though).

Hang in there. I know it was hard on our marriage to have sex be painful. Frustrating for us both. Maybe go veryyyy slowly the first few times and don't even finish. Then try longer times (but slow still) and so on. It worked for us, but took awhile (I had my other babies by c-section so I never had anymore vaginal births to relieve any scarring)... maybe having sex helped the scarring then?
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Old 01-26-2013, 06:44 AM   #4
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Re: Tearing & DTD?

I had a family member with this issue. She said that tons of lube helped a bit but she ended up having it repaired.
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Old 01-26-2013, 08:08 AM   #5
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Re: Tearing & DTD?

I thought there was a complication from my tear after DD1. Turned out, it was just hormonal, and that estrogen cream would have helped. Are you still nursing? Because as soon as I weaned, it self-corrected after both births.
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Old 01-26-2013, 11:07 AM   #6
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Re: Tearing & DTD?

Talk to your ob. Something like that can be fixed usually!
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Old 01-26-2013, 02:04 PM   #7
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Re: Tearing & DTD?

Yes - talk to your Dr they can give you a cream that helps a lot! I was stitched up HORRIBLY - the worst my OB has ever seen, to the point that SHE filed a complaint on the Dr who did it. I got a cream that helped break up the scar tissue, and was told to massage it in really well. Between the cream and the massaging the scar tissue broke down enough that it is only mildly painful now.
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Old 01-26-2013, 03:37 PM   #8
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Re: Tearing & DTD?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Catbutt Diapers View Post
Yes - talk to your Dr they can give you a cream that helps a lot! I was stitched up HORRIBLY - the worst my OB has ever seen, to the point that SHE filed a complaint on the Dr who did it. I got a cream that helped break up the scar tissue, and was told to massage it in really well. Between the cream and the massaging the scar tissue broke down enough that it is only mildly painful now.
Ah man! I wish I would have known there was something that could help it!!! Glad it's not too late of knowledge for the OP.
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Old 01-26-2013, 04:15 PM   #9
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Re: Tearing & DTD?

I think it should be standard info after any kind of stitching - if *this* is happening after *this* many weeks/months, please check back with me, so we can fix it! So many women have this! I've never needed stitching, so it hasn't been a problem for me, but I've been on a pregnancy forum for years, and I've seen it lots of times.
It's sad, 'cause there are probably thousands of women who never get help.
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Old 01-26-2013, 06:19 PM   #10
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Re: Tearing & DTD?

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Originally Posted by ~Cricket~ View Post
I think it should be standard info after any kind of stitching - if *this* is happening after *this* many weeks/months, please check back with me, so we can fix it! So many women have this! I've never needed stitching, so it hasn't been a problem for me, but I've been on a pregnancy forum for years, and I've seen it lots of times.
It's sad, 'cause there are probably thousands of women who never get help.
Yes, it's upsetting! 2-1/2-3 years of painful/uncomfortable sex (at least at the outside) and it could have got better more quickly with a cream... . I'm so frustrated my old midwife or the doctor who stitched me up never even told about anything to help scar tissue or nerve pain or anything like that.

I will remember this info to share with any mama-friends I know who have gotten stitches, but might be too embarrassed to bring up sex and healing. Like an "incase you got stitches and are having discomfort during intimacy, there is a cream that can help break down scar tissue and help".
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