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Old 01-28-2013, 08:34 AM   #1
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What happened to my kid? Vent

DD will be 3 in March. She's mostly normal, if a bit...um...we'll call it "spirited". But geez, for the last week, she's lucky that I can't leave her at the hospital under Safe Haven laws (JOKING!). This child PTed last August...but for the last week, she's had to go to DC in pull-ups. She had multiple accidents yesterday, enough so that I pulled out the PFs again, b/c I don't want to keep buying diapers!

For about a minute, I had been worried about diabetes, but then I remembered that I'm a worrier & a bit of a hypochondriac (by proxy?). Really, though, DD has been using the toilet for months, but all of a sudden, she can't do it herself? She waits until she absolutely can't hold it anymore to tell me she needs to go? She piddles in her undies multiple times a day? WTH?! It's so frustrating! She actually peed on the bathroom floor 3x in the last two days!

DC is busy, she doesn't nap well there, & I know she's tired, but she will.not.go.to.bed Every night, she gets back out of bed AT LEAST 8-10 times. I mean, it's cute, b/c a lot of it is, "You forgot your hugs" & "I need to tell you something...I love you." But it's also frantic screaming 2 minutes after being put down that she has to use the bathroom (& she then does nothing). Or that she needs a drink. Or that being able to see her ponytail holders on her dresser is a problem . I don't want to punish for what I think is some pretty normal, if a bit quirky, behavior...but man, Mama needs some downtime, b/c she so intense the rest of the time--and she needs to sleep, b/c she naps for maybe an hour & she's up before 7 every day. She sometimes drags bedtime+the time she lays in bed & talks to herself until 8:30 or a little later.

And the food...OMGoodness, the food...this kid will eat nearly everything she gets served at DC (breakfast, lunch, & an afternoon snack), then will Hoover down everything in sight from the time she walks in the door until she goes to bed @ 7 or 7:30. Yes, she wants the junk-type, packaged stuff, but we try to balance the indulgences with real food...she just eats an incredible amount! One evening we got home at about 5; from then until bedtime she had two sandwiches, two servings of oranges, two servings of applesauce, a cheese stick, a hard boiled egg, a granola bar, and a banana. And she STILL insisted she was hungry. And she's big (39" & 36lbs), but she's not even really chubby.

And in just the last couple of weeks, she's become so defiant . I know it's normal, but she doesn't listen to her DC teachers (she's the youngest in the preschool room & insists on playing with the "naughty" kids...they're not bad kids, but they're mischievous & at least one I suspect has some behavioral/emotional problems), she's gotten in trouble for pushing & hitting, & she will not listen to any kind of directives from me or DP. Most everything results in incoherent yelling & a wee beast growling/whining "I don't LIKE you!"

Please, please tell me this regressive &/or challenging behavior is normal...that 3 really is harder than 2, as everyone warned me it would be. Is my Tiny Tyrant going through a phase? My gut says probably, but most of the other kids I've been around are either easy-going & never really went through this, or the kids are challenging even at older ages & never really grew out of it. I'm really trying to be supportive & caring with her, & sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't...but it's also really frustrating & sometimes I lose my temper and yell. I made her go to her room last night for a couple of minutes (she has books & toys in there) to give me & DP a few minutes to cool down b/c we were both a bit tapped out. I don't think I can keep going at this rate for a year or more!

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Old 01-28-2013, 08:44 AM   #2
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Re: What happened to my kid? Vent

My 3 yo is the same way. All he does is eat and say no. I am praying we all make it to 4...LOL! I am constantly telling this child to stop and not do something, etc. He is also destructive. Some days I need a stiff drink to deal with him.
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Old 01-28-2013, 08:46 AM   #3
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Re: What happened to my kid? Vent

In my opinion 3 is harder then 2!! My little girl is as you say "spirited"!! It is funny though...When she turned 3 I thought for sure I wouldn't make it...for sure she would be taken away from me or I would leave her at the fire station...that being said we just started approaching one thing at a time. The bed time. Although we have other children one of us lays in her room with her...they NEED sleep! She stays home so I make sure she gets a nap. As for loosing your temper well remember you are not perfect and I personally think a good sit down goes a long way. By that I mean after you have cooled down sit down with your little one and explain that mommy is sorry etc...we will both try harder next time etc...

We are a few short months from 4 and I have been recently noticing that she has become so much more grown up...handling transitions better and developing some patience. So I am hopeful that this looong yr of being three will pay off LOL! Your LO sounds intelligent and I think that has a lot to do with these extreme phases. My oldest did not go through this and he is smart...but at a slightly slower level. Does that make sense?
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Old 01-28-2013, 08:46 AM   #4
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Re: What happened to my kid? Vent

Three year olds are evil

My son turned into a madman when he was three and my daughter is three now and some days makes we wish I were shoveling cow manure instead of being around her all day. I have a one year old and am counting down until when she will turn into a psycho child.

As lame as this sounds- it gets way better once they turn 4. Just keep telling yourself that. It seems like when they turn four the glee that they derived from making you crazy subsides and they start doing other things that don't make you want to tear your hair out.
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Old 01-28-2013, 08:48 AM   #5
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Re: What happened to my kid? Vent

Quote:
Originally Posted by l_Kimmie_l View Post
My 3 yo is the same way. All he does is eat and say no. I am praying we all make it to 4...LOL! I am constantly telling this child to stop and not do something, etc. He is also destructive. Some days I need a stiff drink to deal with him.
I always kid to my husband that I need one of those beer hats with the straws filled with wine so that I can self medicate myself all day
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Old 01-28-2013, 08:48 AM   #6
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Re: What happened to my kid? Vent

She's turning 3. Sorry. It really sucks. At about 2 3/4 my son started getting bit by the 3 bug a little, on his birthday he changed into a 3 monster. ug my least favorite age.
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Old 01-28-2013, 08:49 AM   #7
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Re: What happened to my kid? Vent

On the peeing, I'd have her checked for a UTI.
On everything else, welcome to having a 3 year old!!
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Old 01-28-2013, 08:54 AM   #8
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Re: What happened to my kid? Vent

I think she is the twin of my ds1. He is 3 and is a terror! Defiant! Will walk up to ds2 who is 10 months and walking, shove him down. When he gets in trouble what is his response? "I just needed to push him" and then 5 mins later will do it again! Will look me straight in the eye and do it. Makes me C.R.A.Z.Y.

I wish he would eat everything though. He wants to eat graham crackers and cheese all day long. That's it. A well rounded diet.
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Old 01-28-2013, 08:55 AM   #9
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There's a lot of content in that rant, but I can address the peeing, defiance and food. Utterly normal. My daughter is well into her 4s and frequently waits until the last minute. It's exasperating.
I think the defiance is an annoying manifestation of her asserting independence. I often ask myself, "does this matter? If I let her do this, what's the worst case scenario? If this turns into an argument, who will win?" Of course the friction comes in when it DOES matter and I have to be the law and I have to win.
And the eating. I love it actually, it's been cyclical and self-regulating with no problems whatsoever. She's probably having a growth spurt - the good kind. They are so active at this age. My daughter dances through the house - walking is for babies.
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Old 01-28-2013, 08:55 AM   #10
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Re: What happened to my kid? Vent

3 is definitely the crazy year with girls IMO (and then again @ 9). That all sounds normal to me. Pushing limits and learning how they can take control is high priority.
I would tackle the sleep issue which should help with everything else. Ask the ped about melatonin. My ped suggested it for my ds and it changed his whole little life for the better.
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