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Old 01-26-2013, 11:43 AM   #1
corinne76
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Families that went from 2 incomes to 1 after having kids....I need help please

I'm doing some research for a website I plan on launching....oh, not sure when LOL.
But I want it to speak to families that are going down to one income. We've done, but I want opinions from other families. Please?

I have a few questions, answer whatever you feel comfortable with. I'm not using anyone's name or anything, I'm just looking for outside opinions on the subject so please don't worry about privacy or anything. Nothing will be quoted or reused. It just for my own research.

What was your biggest concern when going from two incomes to one?
What resources did you seek out to help you with the transition?
What information would you have liked to see available for families like yours?


For those that take the time to answer, thank you! I appreciate your help very very much

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Old 01-26-2013, 05:11 PM   #2
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Re: Families that went from 2 incomes to 1 after having kids....I need help please

I have trouble with these because our situation is not really the norm. When we went from 2 incomes to one dh was also getting out of the military and moving 400 miles so things were interesting. For us medical insurance was big since it was free in the military and know we were going to have to pay for it. He ended up in a job paying the same, but bringing home less because of medical ins. I had decreased my hours before i quit so we had already primarily using his income and mine was bonus (I was only working about 12 hours a week after having dd for a year). Our cushion was taken away when I quit. We both come from poorer paycheck to paycheck families so not having that cushion caused a lot of anxiety. In our married lives we had not had to live as tightly has we did while single or as children. We had to tighten things back up when I quit. And in the begining it was only suppose to be temp. I would stay home while we were in transition- not knowing where dh would work or where we would need to live.

We didn't seek any official resources. We did stay with dh's parents while in transition and they only charged us $200 a month. But dh being a disabled veteran did have resources, we just didn't use them.

I think tips on tightening the budget and sticking to it. Info and tips on adjusting from going from WOH to SAH. Emotional support in dealing with the depression sometimes involved- I felt useless. Even though I know I am not and I am doing an important job, I was 31 and it was the first time since I was 15 that I wasn't bringing home a paycheck. It was incredibly depressing to me. I can't really talk much about financial aspects because we got really lucky- dh got laid off from his first out of the military job which kept money tight. In a week had another job making double and more than our incomes combined even when I was working a full time professional job. he still works for the same company and makes WAY more money then anybody ever imagined he would. So while we have a tight budget and are thrifty we don't really need to be anymore. So in that aspect I have very experience, we only had to be super careful for about 6 months. Then we were is better position then we had ever been in before. Its been 3 years since he started at this company (3 1/2 since getting out of the military) and we still can't believe the position we're in a lot of times. It just feels so weird. We know we're lucky.
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Old 01-26-2013, 05:44 PM   #3
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Re: Families that went from 2 incomes to 1 after having kids....I need help please

Quote:
Originally Posted by jbug_4 View Post
I have trouble with these because our situation is not really the norm. When we went from 2 incomes to one dh was also getting out of the military and moving 400 miles so things were interesting. For us medical insurance was big since it was free in the military and know we were going to have to pay for it. He ended up in a job paying the same, but bringing home less because of medical ins. I had decreased my hours before i quit so we had already primarily using his income and mine was bonus (I was only working about 12 hours a week after having dd for a year). Our cushion was taken away when I quit. We both come from poorer paycheck to paycheck families so not having that cushion caused a lot of anxiety. In our married lives we had not had to live as tightly has we did while single or as children. We had to tighten things back up when I quit. And in the begining it was only suppose to be temp. I would stay home while we were in transition- not knowing where dh would work or where we would need to live.

We didn't seek any official resources. We did stay with dh's parents while in transition and they only charged us $200 a month. But dh being a disabled veteran did have resources, we just didn't use them.

I think tips on tightening the budget and sticking to it. Info and tips on adjusting from going from WOH to SAH. Emotional support in dealing with the depression sometimes involved- I felt useless. Even though I know I am not and I am doing an important job, I was 31 and it was the first time since I was 15 that I wasn't bringing home a paycheck. It was incredibly depressing to me. I can't really talk much about financial aspects because we got really lucky- dh got laid off from his first out of the military job which kept money tight. In a week had another job making double and more than our incomes combined even when I was working a full time professional job. he still works for the same company and makes WAY more money then anybody ever imagined he would. So while we have a tight budget and are thrifty we don't really need to be anymore. So in that aspect I have very experience, we only had to be super careful for about 6 months. Then we were is better position then we had ever been in before. Its been 3 years since he started at this company (3 1/2 since getting out of the military) and we still can't believe the position we're in a lot of times. It just feels so weird. We know we're lucky.
thank you so much!
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Old 01-27-2013, 07:49 PM   #4
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Re: Families that went from 2 incomes to 1 after having kids....I need help please

We planned ahead to go to one income. DH and I married at 21, and I always wanted to SAHM. We were both finishing our BS degrees, he worked full time, and I worked part time. We lived solely on his income and saved mine. I got a full time job when we graduatued and we continied to just save my paycheck (actually, we put every check to paying off the principal on our house, basically saving it). After four years, we had our first baby at age 25 and had our $120k house paid off. I quit my job and we continued to live (as always) on DH's income. The extra expenses of a baby were offset by our eliminated mortgage--it freed up $1000/month. Babies don't cost that much, either.

With every child born since then, my DH has also received raises at work, so it worked out.

Things that helped: 1) Our parents both totally paid for our bachelor's degrees with the understanding that we WOULD graduate. They both had college funds for us and we could keep whatever was leftover if we earned scholarships or did part at community college. We had enough left to pay for DH's Masters Degree, so no student loans. 2) Both DH's parents and mine provided us with a car in college, cheap but functioning, so no car loans either. I drove mine for 10 years. DH still drives his. 3) Our parents made us take Dave Ramsey FPU when engaged. This provided the foundation for our financial decisions and served us well to this day.

So to answer your questions, we didn't really have any concerns with dropping to one income since that had been the plan all along. We did not seek any supports or information beyond what we had already learned from Dave Ramsey. We purposely waited to have children until we could easily afford it on one income. Our parents' generosity with college and cars certainly helped us achieve that goal many years sooner than it would have otherwise.

Last edited by Melinda29; 01-27-2013 at 07:52 PM.
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Old 01-27-2013, 09:21 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by corinne76
What was your biggest concern when going from two incomes to one?
What resources did you seek out to help you with the transition?
What information would you have liked to see available for families like yours?

For those that take the time to answer, thank you! I appreciate your help very very much
Biggest concern was adjusting our lifestyle. We ate out as we desired, bought whatever we wanted, etc. so, I worried that we would struggle to adjust and end up in debt again. Also, I didn't like the idea of feeling like I wasn't contributing financially or that I was dependent on others.

Didn't seek out any resources. We just did it.

I don't know that there was any information we needed. If we had not been military, information on affordable healthcare would have likely been important.

Most of my concerns and things I sought out were emotionally related.
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Old 01-30-2013, 08:50 PM   #6
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Re: Families that went from 2 incomes to 1 after having kids....I need help please

My son is three months old. I'm quitting my main job next week, so we'll see how it goes. I'll continue a part-time job that pays about $300/mo (it's practically volunteer work) and I think I'm going to pick up a job for about 12 hours per week. But all told, we'll still be making at least a third less than before, and that's not including the added insurance costs.

My husband always says that you either have time or money, but rarely both. When I was younger and just out of college, I had a decent amount of time (few commitments outside of work) but not a lot of money. For the past several years, we've had a good income but we've been super-busy. So I guess, I'm curious. Now that I'm not working full-time, will it feel like I have a lot more time? Or will parenting eat up all that time plus more? I know that I'll be *busy* parenting, but will I be able to multitask to get regular stuff done? Or will we now just be out of time and out of money?
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Old 01-30-2013, 10:04 PM   #7
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Re: Families that went from 2 incomes to 1 after having kids....I need help please

No concern. We planned it this way when we got married. So, when the time came, I just quit.

No resources that we needed.

We didn't need any info since it was always in the plan. I suppose if someone didn't plan ahead for this, info on how to budget or how to cut back would be good for them.
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Old 01-30-2013, 10:28 PM   #8
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Re: Families that went from 2 incomes to 1 after having kids....I need help please

thank you all for your answers! I really appreciate it.

I have a question for those of you who planned to drop to one income all along: Do you find you need to be a bit more conscious about budgeting and what you are spending money on. or do you spend like you did when you had 2 incomes?
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Old 01-30-2013, 10:38 PM   #9
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Re: Families that went from 2 incomes to 1 after having kids....I need help please

Frugal. I only worked in summer but now not as it just isn't conducive to varnishinbreastfeeding. Only thing flexible enough with Bennett work. I didn't make enough to cover child care either so we souls have been siren moretrfor me to work.i'm selling things now and I have a site I do that helps with somethings plus aS my kids only ones on my side my mom helps out a bit if she can for somethings. Each time we have kid a bit more refund so I try to have it drag out as much as I can & budget groceries......save lots with cloth. Thankfully with switching cars has helped some......we just changed allowances too so that helped bring in a bit more monthly. I put all my $ in savings like bday & like as help too..... I don't need anything right now..... just a bit nerve shaking as we switched health to help as well as it was gonna hike up. I would look for assistance when available too.
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