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Old 04-28-2013, 07:58 PM   #1
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Visitation Schedule?

First, forgive me MODS if this is in the wrong spot. I couldn't find a single-parents board.

I've recently moved back home, and therefore close to my son's father (roughly 15min away actually). Our only court order for visitation was from 3 years ago when I lived 3hrs away and says he gets him the first week of each month and we split holidays. When I moved 8hrs away from him we agreed outside of court, and without changing the official agreement, to do 2 weeks every other month and split holidays. Now that I'm closer we both agree that arangement doesn't make much sense.

I'm proposing every other weekend, after work Friday to suppertime Sunday, 10-6 every Wednesday, and splitting holidays. I'm also offering to let him take him for random family events or vacation. He's good with that but wants to do every other week for the whole week from June-August instead. That just seems like a lot of upheaval for DS who already suffers from stress induced pseudoseizures and a major issue with change among other health issues.

Rambling aside, what does your visitation schedule look like for your 4ish year olds? I know each state is different and each judge decides something different but I'm looking for a baseline to go off of.

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Old 04-28-2013, 09:20 PM   #2
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Re: Visitation Schedule?

Our agreement is verbal only, but while ds was a baby I was always there to supervise, then it was quite a while before ds started to visit....but around 3.5 years he started doing fairly regular every other weekend trips. We still stick to that, and just work out who gets which holiday they want, and if one has plans on the other's weekend, we just work around it. This summer we are coming into a disagreement though, because while ds's dad isn't working, I want to split our summer like your ex wants to do, every other week, but his dad really doesn't want to. He just wants every other weekend, no extras. I figure we'll end up compromising with 1 week a month in addition to his regular weekends.
Not that I don't love my little ray of sunshine, but I have summer classes and daycare gets expensive, plus ds really loves his time at his dad & grandma's house.
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Old 04-28-2013, 09:40 PM   #3
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Re: Visitation Schedule?

first of all I want to say I am jealous. Mine doesn't pay worth crap and I wouldn't let him be around my daughter too longf. Anyway, we have friends that do every other weekend basically I think all year .... so I would say weekends and year long and every other holiday give or take for sicknesses and stuff like that.
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Old 04-29-2013, 05:53 PM   #4
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Re: Visitation Schedule?

My nephew is 6, but the agreement has been in place for about 4 years now. My sister & his dad live 10 minutes apart.
He goes every other weekend from 3pm Friday until 6pm on Sunday. Then every Wednesday from 3pm until 7 or 8.

They switch holidays every year. She gets him Mother's Day, he gets him Father's day.
Whoever gets him on Christmas eve as to return him by noon-ish Christmas day.
He is supposed to go to his Dad's for a full week in both July & August, but they never take him for the full week.
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Old 04-30-2013, 05:58 PM   #5
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Re: Visitation Schedule?

My boys always struggled with switching back at night so we did all our switches in the am.
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Old 04-30-2013, 06:04 PM   #6
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Re: Visitation Schedule?

I think if you live close, 50/50 is the best option for the child. You can alternate who gets Wednesdays each week to make it an even split. So, one week, you'd have Sunday am to Wed, then the next week you'd get Sunday to Thursday.

This is a short enough time that there are minimal adjustment issues once the routine is established, and it is long enough for each parent to get real time with the child and create their own bond. I detest schedules that are every other weekend with a weeknight every week because THAT creates upheaval (Wed night at one house, Thursday at the other, then back to first house for Friday and Sat night every other week).

For holidays, we alternate Thanksgiving and Christmas every year, but when we lived close, we alternated years with Thanksgiving, and alternated Dec. 18-Dec. 24 one year, then Dec. 25 to Jan. 1 every year so we shared the winter holiday time. When we lived closer, we also did longer summer visits to accommodate vacations.
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Old 05-10-2013, 02:52 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by Sigkap714 View Post
First, forgive me MODS if this is in the wrong spot. I couldn't find a single-parents board.

I've recently moved back home, and therefore close to my son's father (roughly 15min away actually). Our only court order for visitation was from 3 years ago when I lived 3hrs away and says he gets him the first week of each month and we split holidays. When I moved 8hrs away from him we agreed outside of court, and without changing the official agreement, to do 2 weeks every other month and split holidays. Now that I'm closer we both agree that arangement doesn't make much sense.

I'm proposing every other weekend, after work Friday to suppertime Sunday, 10-6 every Wednesday, and splitting holidays. I'm also offering to let him take him for random family events or vacation. He's good with that but wants to do every other week for the whole week from June-August instead. That just seems like a lot of upheaval for DS who already suffers from stress induced pseudoseizures and a major issue with change among other health issues.

Rambling aside, what does your visitation schedule look like for your 4ish year olds? I know each state is different and each judge decides something different but I'm looking for a baseline to go off of.
My step daughter is with us every 1st 3rd and 5th week end of thw month beginning Friday afyer preschool and ending Sunday at 4. Some holidays are split and the rest are celebrated with the parent who is scheduled to have her. The mother is not cooperative at all and doesn't work with us without the attorneys threats so that's all be where able yo manage. We live a little over an hour away from her.
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Old 05-22-2013, 08:16 AM   #8
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Re: Visitation Schedule?

I say every other weekend and slit holidays, and if events come up deal with them as needed that's what I do works great. Just try to work together and everything will be fibe
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Old 05-22-2013, 09:32 AM   #9
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Re: Visitation Schedule?

Just thought I'd update. After his threat to take me back to court failed (I told him to go for it) he agreed to every other weekend and each Wednesday evening. The holidays will still be split as usual and special occasions will be dealt with as they arise. This was supposed to start this week but he doesn't have time to get him today and can only take him Sunday this weekend. *sigh* Some things never change.
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