Dh using nursing as an excuse

[mommabritt]

Well, I nursed dd and tried to put her to bed. She wasn't having it and I had a bible study to get to to so I left.

I figure- she's been fed and I wouldn't be feeding her even if I was there so he will have to just work it out.

[abunchoflemons]

I feel your pain/ frustration... mine does too....

[Tris]

Originally Posted by mommabritt Well, I nursed dd and tried to put her to bed. She wasn't having it and I had a bible study to get to to so I left. I figure- she's been fed and I wouldn't be feeding her even if I was there so he will have to just work it out.

Honestly that's the best way sometimes. They figure it out We did as mothers, right?

[Computermama]

Yeeah, I'm getting that. With DD1, it's not that we popped a bottle in her mouth every time she cried, but I think DH felt that he was more equipped to deal with her crying. He was also home a lot more when she was itty bitty, so he developed a rapport with her a little quicker. He worked a LOT when DD2 was tiny and wasn't off until she was a much older baby, so she was unaccustomed to being soothed by him, and she's breastfed, so DH has a tendancy to just look to give her to me when she's upset. And because he doesn't do much to attempt to soothe her, she DOES look to me soothe her, sort of a self fulfilling prophecy.

[mommabritt]

Originally Posted by Computermama Yeeah, I'm getting that. With DD1, it's not that we popped a bottle in her mouth every time she cried, but I think DH felt that he was more equipped to deal with her crying. He was also home a lot more when she was itty bitty, so he developed a rapport with her a little quicker. He worked a LOT when DD2 was tiny and wasn't off until she was a much older baby, so she was unaccustomed to being soothed by him, and she's breastfed, so DH has a tendancy to just look to give her to me when she's upset. And because he doesn't do much to attempt to soothe her, she DOES look to me soothe her, sort of a self fulfilling prophecy.

Yes, it's sort of a vicious cycle.

[qsefthuko]

My husband does the same but I think I enable that type of behaviour. Whenever any of our babies cried I always just nursed them. Because of this I think my husband just automatically assumes nothing else will do the job.

[mommabritt]

Originally Posted by qsefthuko My husband does the same but I think I enable that type of behaviour. Whenever any of our babies cried I always just nursed them. Because of this I think my husband just automatically assumes nothing else will do the job.

That I could understand....but I don't do that. Often times I will take her, we will go into another room and sit down with some books or I will grab a a handful of the boys' Legos and that's enough to calm her. That is something he is capable of.

[MDever]

Dh calls that the first rule of babies When in doubt give baby a nursie. It took until our 4th baby for him to feel really confident in his parenting. Now he will wrestle the baby from my arms.

[mozartswannabe]

Arrgh! I have the same problem. Dh hates giving a bottle if I pump and I hate it too bc then I have to wash all the parts. Dh doesn't hand off and say "here's he's hungry" it's "he wants you" yet I still have to put effort into calming DS. I've been a SAHM for 4 months now and I can't wait ntil DH gets a reality check when I go back to work soon! I feel like it's awful that I feel that way, but DH hasn't been very fair to me.

[OrlaithsMommy]

I know what you mean. My DH gets frustrated that our son cries when he holds him but calms for me immediately. Our DD did the same thing. She grew out of it as she got older and they have a great relationship now. Hang in there!