Am I terrible because...

[You Tell 'Em]

No, you're not terrible It's your birth mama I had an epi with my first, no issues with baby or myself (except for some tearing, but I had the same tearing with my second which was a homebirth). I'm planning a hospital birth this time (natural) but heck, if I'm in hard labor 10+ hours there you betcha an epi will cross my mind

The big difference for me (after birth) was with the epi, I looked/felt like a truck ran over me. With my second, once I was rehydrated I felt amazing and looked like normal.

[carlycurry]

That does NOT make you terrible. Birth plans are a totally personal decision up to the individual woman. I personally don't want to be in all that pain and like to save my energy for pushing, so, for me, an epidural is what I choose.

[amb2j]

Dont make yourself want something you dont. Do what you know works for you and want that :-)

[craigwick]

Originally Posted by peep_erz While getting an epidural sounds appealing to me I am more freaked out about it wearing off too early or my body not responding the correct way and me feeling the pain anyways.

I had an epi with my first and felt nothing (they had to use forceps as I couldn't feel to push!) and I did have the epi with DD2, but she had other ideas and was born before it kicked in! Was I ever mad! I'm over it now, as recovery was way quicker that time. Do whatever works for you OP!

[EmilytheStrange]

of course it doesn't make you terrible.

I think the important thing is to make an informed decision. And if that's the decision you're making, then it's fine.

Honestly? It's very tempting to just go in for a repeat csection. I could schedule family to fly up or really any childcare, I would be on base rather than an hour away.... there are a ton of other factors that it would simplify. but I am making a different choice.

but I understand the temptation to do things differently. I understand why people make the decisions they make. As long as they're making the decision with knowledge in their tool belt, then it's their decision to make.

[happysmileylady]

I think you first have to realize that it doesn't have to hurt. Our bodies are not broken, we are not put on this earth to suffer through childbirth. If you work with your body it really doesn't have to hurt. The US is one of the few (only?) country that believes it hurts this bad. It's all media and old propaganda from when we went from a normal birth at home with midwife society to a hospital society

I am sorry if I offend you with this, but as a mama who has had two births with epidural and two births without...That statement is a bunch of bullarky. It may have been "uncomfortable" for you, but for me, labor and delivery SUCKS. My body contracts for WEEKS, doing nothing, and that hurts. THen, as it turns into real labor, it hurts worse and still takes hours and hours to go from 1cm to 7 or 8cm. THen, I go from there to 10 within minutes and baby pretty much flys out. The whole experience for me is just awful. I know all about the breathing and the walking and the tub and all of that. It HURTS. A LOT. It IS suffering for me. It's not media and propaganda brainwashing. It's real genuine pain. And to go along with that...I don't enjoy pregnancy all that much either. The pain of pregnancy, labor and delivery and three of the very top reasons I am not having any more children. Please never tell anyone ever again that labor only hurts because they have been brainwashed by the media.

To the OP, no you aren't terrible for wanting an epidural.

[gingersnappy]

Why not just keep an open mind?
If the pain gets too great, just ask for the epidural! Let your midwives or nurses know your "plan". I just gave birth at the end Dec, and had planned on all natural birth but wasn't hell bent on it. Good thing too... My water broke, then was in labor for 36+ hours and wasn't dilating like I should. At first, I stuck it out, then opted for Fentanyl ( which barely did anything), then wound up with oxytocin and an epidural. Thank god for the epidural. The epidural allowed me to rest pain-free so I could actually push effectively later... no side effects from the epidural and I was able to stand relatively soon after... wish I had the epidural after 10 hrs of labor!!

[qsefthuko]

Originally Posted by Pixi6s I think you first have to realize that it doesn't have to hurt. Our bodies are not broken, we are not put on this earth to suffer through childbirth. If you work with your body it really doesn't have to hurt. The US is one of the few (only?) country that believes it hurts this bad. It's all media and old propaganda from when we went from a normal birth at home with midwife society to a hospital society I've only had one child and there were a few uncomfortable things. It was really hard work. But nothing natural really hurt. (a few things the midwives had to do did!) I'd recommend taking a HypnoBirthing class (stupid name) it's about letting go, going to your happy place and letting your baby come. At least read the book. http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/re.../dp/0757302661 This of course isn't for everyone. If you can't let go of the idea that it's going to hurt like hell, than it is going to and you should do what is best for you.

I hate say this but my labors were excruciatingly painful. For some women it simply is. For others(my mama) it isn't that bad. I totally get wanting pain killer as my labor was the worst pain I have ever had barring the c section recovery. It isn't bad to not want to hurt. Being scared or apprehensive can also accentuate the pain(perhaps this was my problem).

[The Fancy Pansy]

Originally Posted by Kiliki I love natural birth, personally, for myself. But I don't see why you should try to *make* yourself want one. If you've read all about the pros/cons and risks of epis, and you are comfortable having one, laboring in bed on your back, then do it your way. That's what informed consent is all about! Knowing the pros/cons and risks associated and making whatever choice fits YOU best. Know what else? I've had 3 natural pain-med-free births. I am planning my 4th in the next 6 weeks. Sometimes I think to myself, "I wonder what it would be like to just go get an Epi, get hooked up, watch TV for a few hours, maybe take a nap, and then push a baby out of my vag.... be catered to for a few days, brought my meals, get to watch cable, have visitors and flowers delivered to my room....hmmmmmm" While I believe in natural birth being the best choice, it certainly isn't without its own set of "cons"! Do what works for you, mama. Don't base your decision on what others will think.

Wow, that sounds amazing. But has anyone ever had that happen? I know I didn't with my natural OR my epi birth!

Originally Posted by peep_erz If you don't want it you don't want it. While getting an epidural sounds appealing to me I am more freaked out about it wearing off too early or my body not responding the correct way and me feeling the pain anyways. I know my body has a high tolerance for drugs so I would hate to get the epidural and expect pain relief but get pain anyways. In that situation I would not only be in pain but I would be pissed off! Lol. My mom went natural with all of her kids. She said it sucks but it isn't the end of the world either. I trust her so my birth wish is to try natural.

Normally I take twice the amount of any pain drug or anesthetic in order to even remotely work, but the epi worked for me perfectly, no adjustments needed.

My mom said the same thing, BTW. But my mom's body obviously handles childbirth a world differently than mine.

Originally Posted by RunawayBunny I don't think that makes you terrible at all. I think if you make an informed decision than you shouldn't feel guilty or bad about it. If what you are really looking for is someone to talk you into a natural birth I am sure there are plenty of links and videos and statistics that mamas can direct you to. I have had a few doulas say that 7cm is a pretty magic number and if you can hold off until then the risks are reduced (no clue if there is any data to back that up), but maybe thats something to look into to help ease your mind? I will say that you should never count on the labor/birth going a certain way (as I am sure you know). I was all for the epidural with DS. Instead I had problems starting about a half an hour after I got it. It started out spotty and then made my blood pressure crash. Around 7cm they had to turn it off. I was not at all prepared to mentally handle the pain. So my focus with this pregnancy was to prepare for a med free birth just in case.

I was actually just reading a bunch of epi stats, and the possibility of the epi not being effective goes up once you hit 7 cm. My hospital won't give it after 7 cm. I got mine with my second birth right when I was at 7.

Originally Posted by Pixi6s I think you first have to realize that it doesn't have to hurt. Our bodies are not broken, we are not put on this earth to suffer through childbirth. If you work with your body it really doesn't have to hurt. The US is one of the few (only?) country that believes it hurts this bad. It's all media and old propaganda from when we went from a normal birth at home with midwife society to a hospital society I've only had one child and there were a few uncomfortable things. It was really hard work. But nothing natural really hurt. (a few things the midwives had to do did!) I'd recommend taking a HypnoBirthing class (stupid name) it's about letting go, going to your happy place and letting your baby come. At least read the book. http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/re.../dp/0757302661 This of course isn't for everyone. If you can't let go of the idea that it's going to hurt like hell, than it is going to and you should do what is best for you.

I agree with the below poster. I had a natural birth. I did everything "right". My body can't handle it. Just like some people could have a tooth extracted without meds and deal with it fine...everyone's pain threshold and body/circumstance is vastly different.

Originally Posted by happysmileylady I am sorry if I offend you with this, but as a mama who has had two births with epidural and two births without...That statement is a bunch of bullarky. It may have been "uncomfortable" for you, but for me, labor and delivery SUCKS. My body contracts for WEEKS, doing nothing, and that hurts. THen, as it turns into real labor, it hurts worse and still takes hours and hours to go from 1cm to 7 or 8cm. THen, I go from there to 10 within minutes and baby pretty much flys out. The whole experience for me is just awful. I know all about the breathing and the walking and the tub and all of that. It HURTS. A LOT. It IS suffering for me. It's not media and propaganda brainwashing. It's real genuine pain. And to go along with that...I don't enjoy pregnancy all that much either. The pain of pregnancy, labor and delivery and three of the very top reasons I am not having any more children. Please never tell anyone ever again that labor only hurts because they have been brainwashed by the media. To the OP, no you aren't terrible for wanting an epidural.

I'm right there with you.

Originally Posted by qsefthuko I hate say this but my labors were excruciatingly painful. For some women it simply is. For others(my mama) it isn't that bad. I totally get wanting pain killer as my labor was the worst pain I have ever had barring the c section recovery. It isn't bad to not want to hurt. Being scared or apprehensive can also accentuate the pain(perhaps this was my problem).

AFM: My first was born all naturally. I used the birthing ball, different positions, bath, etc etc etc, none of it helped at all, and the actual birth was traumatically painful. Literally traumatic. Everything went "right", but my body canNOT handle that.

My second birth I was in serious painful labor for 48 hours, with contractions ever 6-8 minutes for 48 hours before they finally regulated to 4 minutes and I got to the hospital at 6-7. Got the epi asap. That birth was my healing balm. The experience was amazingly peaceful, and what I believe birth was meant to be like, before humankind went and messed everything up (thanks, Eve).

I was looking up risks, and without being able to find exact comparison numbers, it looks to me like I'm more likely to have a serious injury or death from driving to the hospital than I am to have a serious complication from getting an epi.


OP: If the epi was the horrible thing some people make it out to be, doctors wouldn't allow or support it. There's a lot of epi hate out there, misinformation, and fear mongering. Is an epi for everyone? Absolutely not! But it is for some, and it can be an amazing thing.

[Kiliki]

Originally Posted by The Fancy Pansy Wow, that sounds amazing. But has anyone ever had that happen? I know I didn't with my natural OR my epi birth!

Honestly, if my first birth would have been with more caring staff, and cable TV, it would have been nice. The hospital staff and their stupid protocol and their condescending treatment are what ruined it for me.

I could totally see it being peaceful and relaxing with the right staff.