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Old 01-29-2013, 11:42 AM   #31
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Re: Am I terrible because...

I don't blame you.
There is a huge part of me that wants to the home birth/water birth.
I've had 2 epi's and 2 no epi births. I loved all of them, but I didn't like the state of mind I was in during my non epi births. KWIM? I was out of control. I don't handle pain well, and I have extremely fast labors that I had no adjustment period and just freaked out.
I've been going back and forth whether I want an epi or natural again for next time.

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Old 01-29-2013, 02:06 PM   #32
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Re: Am I terrible because...

Your baby, your body, your birth

How can you make yourself want a natural birth? You can read lots of affirming and happy natural birth stories. You can read all the side effects and risks of the drugs and interventions in medicalized birth. You can read stories of women who are affected by the possible permanent side effects of the drugs. You could do none of these things and still determine within yourself that you will do it anyway for whatever reasons you deem valid.

I, however, would probably start with reading the affirming natural childbirth stories.
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Old 01-29-2013, 02:12 PM   #33
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Re: Am I terrible because...

Absolutely not!

I never wanted a natural birth. Props to those who can birth a baby without an epi but it's not for me. I ended up laboring until 6cm drug free (not by choice) and I hated it. Once I got the epi I was really able to enjoy my labor.

I know a lot of moms have had a poor experience with an epi, but I LOVED it. I could still move my legs and feet and was totally aware, just not in excruciating pain.

It's your birth. Do what you want and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise!
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Old 01-29-2013, 02:20 PM   #34
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Re: Am I terrible because...

Not terrible! There's no one right way, IMO. I've done both and there are definitely pros & cons. I had one with my first (after 16 hours of labor & only being halfway dilated), didn't need one with my 2nd, and got one with my 3rd/last (only an hour before she was born). With my 3rd, I felt like I had nothing to prove to myself anymore- I had already had an epi-free birth, and I didn't want the remainder of my labor to be miserable. I don't regret it one bit.

I say just go with the flow!
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Old 01-29-2013, 03:31 PM   #35
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Re: Am I terrible because...

Not at all. I want a natural birth and plan to do it at home, but if it gets too much for me I'd have no shame in going in for an epi. Women should be able to birth however they want without shame, from unassisted in a shoe closet to a planned c-section. Most women have epis, there must be something to them
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Old 01-29-2013, 07:50 PM   #36
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Re: Am I terrible because...

If you want one, have one, if you don't, don't. I had a epi birth with my first, and a homebirth with my second. I'm choosing homebirth again for this one, but you're not bad for wanting an epi.
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Old 01-30-2013, 05:35 AM   #37
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Re: Am I terrible because...

Thanks for the replies. I did want natural at first but now that we know the baby has a cleft palate and all, I just want to focus on the baby and breastfeeding. I don't really care so much now about a natural birth. Also I don't know if I can handle the pain, I couldn't the first time though my labour started off at 5 mins apart and was doing nothing. I was going to give birth with a midwife at the local hospital but I've heard horror stories about their anesthesiologist and so now I'm thinking of going back to the hospital an hour away where I had my daughter. It'll also depend of course on what resourses are available where for our baby. I had a great experience with my epi and was able to go to the bathroom on my own soon after. I just want that again.
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Old 01-30-2013, 07:46 AM   #38
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Re: Am I terrible because...

I know "they" say that the epi can interfere with bf'ing, but I don't know where that info is supposed to come from, and it sure wasn't true for me. My first (natural birth) was the one who had an agonizing time getting her to BF. My second (epi birth) latched on within 30 minutes and was a nursing champ from the start. Anecdotal, I know, but for me, the trauma of natural birth was a serious deterrent in BF'ing, whereas the peaceful entrance of my epi birth fostered an immediate attachment and a wonderful nursing relationship.

Our hospital is an hour away from our house as well. There are 4 other places we could stop on the way if there was an emergency, but it's never been a problem, and our hospital has an amazing nicu and I generally love the staff, especially my OB, so it's totally worth the drive!
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Old 01-30-2013, 01:41 PM   #39
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Re: Am I terrible because...

Quote:
Originally Posted by happysmileylady View Post
I am sorry if I offend you with this, but as a mama who has had two births with epidural and two births without...That statement is a bunch of bullarky. It may have been "uncomfortable" for you, but for me, labor and delivery SUCKS. [...] It HURTS. A LOT. It IS suffering for me. It's not media and propaganda brainwashing. It's real genuine pain. And to go along with that...I don't enjoy pregnancy all that much either. The pain of pregnancy, labor and delivery and three of the very top reasons I am not having any more children. Please never tell anyone ever again that labor only hurts because they have been brainwashed by the media.
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Originally Posted by qsefthuko View Post
I hate say this but my labors were excruciatingly painful. For some women it simply is. For others(my mama) it isn't that bad. I totally get wanting pain killer as my labor was the worst pain I have ever had barring the c section recovery. It isn't bad to not want to hurt. Being scared or apprehensive can also accentuate the pain(perhaps this was my problem).
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I agree with the below poster. I had a natural birth. I did everything "right". My body can't handle it. Just like some people could have a tooth extracted without meds and deal with it fine...everyone's pain threshold and body/circumstance is vastly different.
I sure it does hurt for some people no matter what. But if you go in thinking its going to hurt there is just about no way in hell what it isn't. That is more my point. I like to try to tell people that it doesn't hurt for everyone, so maybe it won't for you. I don't think people who have experienced this say it enough. I will never say it's easy.

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I also have to disagree with this. I was given pitocin after hours of my water breaking and leaking. Nothing was happening and then all the sudden I was in excruciating pain. It was not something that society told me to feel. I barely knew what pitocin was at that point in my life. It was serious, real pain.
Things didn't go prefect for me either, I pushed for 3hrs and got an episiotomy that was later extended (now those hurt like hell) cause he was stuck. I did get pitocin at the end it scared me but they said my contractions were back to 5 min apart (I had no concept of time). I think it just put things back on track in my situation and he was born soon after.

Like I said it is very hard work. I guess I was lucky that the whole labor was just under 24 hours, vrs days that the poster above mentioned.

Like everything with having and raising children its all personal decision and are many strong opinions. I don't think the OP is wrong for wanting to goto a hospital and have an epi, I'm sure that is right for some people. I agree with the poster that mentioned going to the hospital and trying to do it without, knowing its an option if needed.

I believe that people in the US believe labor is going to hurt no matter what. I don't think that should be a fact. It may hurt but, in my opinion, it's not a guarantee.
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Old 02-02-2013, 06:56 AM   #40
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Re: Am I terrible because...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pixi6s View Post
I sure it does hurt for some people no matter what. But if you go in thinking its going to hurt there is just about no way in hell what it isn't. That is more my point. I like to try to tell people that it doesn't hurt for everyone, so maybe it won't for you. I don't think people who have experienced this say it enough. I will never say it's easy.



Things didn't go prefect for me either, I pushed for 3hrs and got an episiotomy that was later extended (now those hurt like hell) cause he was stuck. I did get pitocin at the end it scared me but they said my contractions were back to 5 min apart (I had no concept of time). I think it just put things back on track in my situation and he was born soon after.

Like I said it is very hard work. I guess I was lucky that the whole labor was just under 24 hours, vrs days that the poster above mentioned.

Like everything with having and raising children its all personal decision and are many strong opinions. I don't think the OP is wrong for wanting to goto a hospital and have an epi, I'm sure that is right for some people. I agree with the poster that mentioned going to the hospital and trying to do it without, knowing its an option if needed.

I believe that people in the US believe labor is going to hurt no matter what. I don't think that should be a fact. It may hurt but, in my opinion, it's not a guarantee.
Yes, I read in the Hypnobirthing books how pain in childbirth is not a part of other cultures, but really, I don't think that's true. Even the Bible talks about the pain of childbirth and the curse for eating the forbidden fruit was pain in childbirth. I think some cultures might keep the fact there is pain a secret to not scare new moms, or just that husbands don't know what happens so don't realize there is pain or it's just a taboo subject. Some probably use local pain relief for mothers. Maybe in some cultures there isn't often pain which could be due to the physical build of the women in the culture and the size of the baby and the fact that they have many children or the type of manual labour they are used to gives them a different pain tolerance or helps the baby be born faster. The fact is in most 3rd world countries childbirth is very dangerous and still the leading cause of death of women. The people that have great labours with little to no pain are few and far between and are not the norm. You can't say almost every woman is feeling pain just because she expects it and so it's all really caused by her mindset. I didn't expect to feel lots of pain and I did.
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