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Old 01-30-2013, 04:12 PM   #1
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Getting some space (personal space)

I have 6 kids 7 and under. Sometimes one of them really needs some space for whatever reason. I don't mean physical space, but it does equate to that. I have 2 boys sharing a room. My 2.5 year old twins and my daughter all have their own room for now. We have a 5 bedroom house. So, when any of them needs time to themselves for one reason or another (in trouble or bad mood or whatever), I just send them to their own room.

One of my 5 year olds, the boy, and my 7 year old son share a room. It is fine most of the time, but today, the 5 year old was really in a bad mood. The 7 year old and my other 5 year old, the girl, where playing in there. So, the 5 year old boy was sitting on his bed playing legos and randomly saying mean things to them and such. (Being a 5 year old boy. ) Of course, telling them to ignore doesn't work. (insert more eye rolling here.) I gave him a couple of chances and then told him he had to leave and go to the playroom. They were being good. He was being mean. I felt he should leave.

I imagine this is going to come up more and more. I have a 3 month old boy who will eventually take one of the 2.5 year old's room and the 2.5 year old twins will share again. And of course, if we ever have more, they will continue to share. I never know exactly how to handle it when I need to send one to his room and the other wants to play or they are fighting and need to send them both or whatever.

How do you handle this? I'd like to hear other ideas and suggestions. Thanks for your input!


Heather SAHM to 6 who are 7 and under, including 2 sets of twins and our last little miracle, a surviving identical twin, born Oct 2012!
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Old 01-30-2013, 04:16 PM   #2
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Re: Getting some space (personal space)

Separate corners....or could you send one in at a time?
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Old 01-30-2013, 09:13 PM   #3
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Re: Getting some space (personal space)

I am a BIG fan of sharing rooms but that being said when I raised my siblings and now with my own children their bedrooms are ONLY for sleeping. No toys allowed except for loveys at night time. They all share a playroom for toys and we have a room for studies. Maybe reorganizing bedrooms so you have more "open" rooms for play or study will give the children more "alone" space. Or you can always have an "angry corner". In my house it is a play tent, when they are mad or frustrated they can go in the tent by themselves and be mad. They can cry or yell or hit pillows, what ever they need to do to get it all out. When they come out of the tent they have to be calm and nice again. It's nice because it gives the illusion of privacy. Best wishes mama, in all this you just have to do what will work for YOUR family so try some things out!
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Old 01-31-2013, 02:54 PM   #4
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Re: Getting some space (personal space)

my three oldest all share a room and finding alone space is tough. it's especially tough when one wants to be alone, they can't tell another to get out of his/her own room.

we also have a separate play room, and no toys in the bedroom, so often the "mad" or "sad" person is able to sit in peace.

I try to gently redirect the other person to play elsewhere until someone is done being mad.
Elaine, SAHM to E (11/07), J (8/09), A (2/11), G (11/12), P (7/14)

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Old 02-01-2013, 05:09 PM   #5
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I am struggling with this as well. Right now, my older two share a room, and the baby has her own room. A few months ago my oldest started wanting "quiet, alone time" so she has been using the spare room in baby's room. We are downsizing our house, and all three girls will be sleeping in the same room after we move. We are hoping to have a seperate play room, and am going to make a couple "one person only" areas throughout the house. We'll see how it works. First we have to get someone to rent us a house.
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Old 02-03-2013, 07:18 AM   #6
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Re: Getting some space (personal space)

On WomenLivingWell's website (love that site!), I saw this on the linkups page and thought of your post! Hope it helps with some ideas...
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Old 02-03-2013, 12:11 PM   #7
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Re: Getting some space (personal space)

We have a really big house, so there is always a room they can go in to be alone if they need the space. I don't know if its a space issue so much as a discipline issue. You are wanting to isolate him b/c of his rude talking. I would have probably made him come into the room I was in, and sit quietly in a corner or on a particular square of the kitchen floor, and stay there until he wanted to talk nicely. If 2 of mine are doing this, I just put them on opposite sides of whatever room I am in. I don't do a lot of time outs, and my time outs are not timed, I do them until said child seems as if theya re ready to come out and act correctly. I also do them in whatever room I am in, wherever I think is the best place at the time (no TV view, just a boring place to just sit).
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Old 02-05-2013, 08:18 PM   #8
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Re: Getting some space (personal space)

We ran into this a lot while we were staying with my boyfriend's family. My daughter was very upset about not getting enough alone time. I tried getting her brothers to do activities with me to stay out of her hair, but I found that didn't work for us. Instead I found it was much easier to find a small corner where one person could do something quietly. If they needed some time alone all they had to do was tell everyone they're taking some alone time. I would keep the other kids away until whoever it was thought they were ready to mix happily with the rest of the population. This ended up being at the table and it worked out great. Since then I've expressed to my kids frequently that if they want to be alone they can go chill with the art supplies (even if they bring something else to keep them busy) or they can sit and cuddle with me for a while. It's worked out really well. Having two boys in one room (which will be three as soon as the baby's out of our room) it can mean they don't feel like they have much privacy, and I'm sure things will change once we have teens in the house that don't want to be bugged by younger siblings all the time, but we'll get there when we get to the point of having teens. Most of our bad tempers have come from needing some space and a little bit of privacy, so this has been fantastic.
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