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Old 07-10-2013, 08:13 PM   #1
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potty training and daycare

DD is 2.5 exactly. near the end of june we decided it was time to potty train. using the N75 method (bare bum all day) she almost instantly started to go in the little potty herself, wipe herself, empty the pot, flush, replace the pot - TOTALLY on her own. this, to me, suggests she's ready for this potty training stuff.

we're having trouble getting her to go on her own when she's in panties. she'll take off her panties because she hates to be wet, but doesn't let us know ahead of time so we can help her. so i try to take her to the potty at regular intervals and that usually works.

at daycare, i sent 5 outfits a day. this is after discussing it with one of the staff who said don't bother with pullups, just send 4 changes of clothing. she already had pullups there and i SPECIFICALLY said those are for nap time ONLY.

well, it's not going well at all. she goes in panties but as soon as she has an accident they put her in pullups/diapers and that's it for the day, they don't even try her in panties after that (as evidenced by the single, or sometimes two, wet outfits that come home that day).

their excuse was "well, she doesn't tell us when she needs to go." um, she's only been at this a couple weeks, i don't think that's an entirely reasonable expectation. when we talked i said clearly that she is independent when bottomless, but when she has bottoms on we just take her to do her thing. they're refusing to do that. i get that they have a lot of kids there but they also have a lot of staff, and she can't be the only one potty training.

where do i go from here? i'm tempted to just not send diapers/pullups after she runs out (which will be soon) and force them all to figure things out. i do not want my kid to be in diapers all day when i'm trying to teach her to go to the bathroom, it's just giving her mixed signals. she won't learn by not doing it. and i don't think it's a matter of readiness because if it was, it wouldn't be so consistent at home.

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Old 07-10-2013, 08:25 PM   #2
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Re: potty training and daycare

I would not want to wnt a kid that was peeing in their underware that many times a day. They would be in oullups after the first accident.

If you are sending that many outfit changes and expecting daycare to deal with 5 or more acccidents in a day, IMO, that is not fair to daycare nor does it seem like your dd is completely r3ady to be in underware 100% of the time.

My daycare wont do underware until they are consistantly useing the pottyand staying dry
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Old 07-11-2013, 11:41 PM   #3
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Re: potty training and daycare

Being honest...I would not do that many outfit changes either. For my own kids...the second pair of wet clothes in 4 hours means you go back in a diaper and we try again tomorrow.
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Old 07-11-2013, 11:45 PM   #4
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I feel for u, I'm in the same boat except DS is 23 months. In his current room they sit him on the potty only once a day. I did originally send 5 outfits/ underwear but he's now back in diapers. I had hoped that they would at least try for a week but it seemed like the put up w only one accident.
He did well for the one week potty training at home but started resisting right when he went back to DCP.
I'm resigned to waiting for the next class where they schedule potty learning 4 times a day. It's the 2-3 year old class.
I know that depending on the DCP some are better at working w u or teaching potty early. The more Montessori types usually do.
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Old 07-12-2013, 06:29 AM   #5
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Re: potty training and daycare

This is my problem with daycares. If they are caring for children potty training ages, they should expect to have to potty train. And that means dealing with multiple accidents. Children cannot learn without accidents. They are the children care providers. They are with them all day, and if they don't participate, the child could be 4 before they are potty trained!
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Old 07-13-2013, 08:41 AM   #6
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Re: potty training and daycare

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Originally Posted by crunch!910 View Post
This is my problem with daycares. If they are caring for children potty training ages, they should expect to have to potty train. And that means dealing with multiple accidents. Children cannot learn without accidents. They are the children care providers. They are with them all day, and if they don't participate, the child could be 4 before they are potty trained!
It is not the daycares job to potty train and I dont' know any daycare provider (and I personally know a lot) that has the time or wants to clean up pee/change clothes on a kid that is clearly not ready. IMO multiple accidents a day means the are not ready,

I think that is the problem with so many people that have to have their kid potty trained. If they are not having accidents then sure I am fine with underware, but with multiple kids-nope not going to happen.
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Old 07-13-2013, 10:13 AM   #7
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Re: potty training and daycare

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Originally Posted by crunch!910 View Post
This is my problem with daycares. If they are caring for children potty training ages, they should expect to have to potty train. And that means dealing with multiple accidents. Children cannot learn without accidents. They are the children care providers. They are with them all day, and if they don't participate, the child could be 4 before they are potty trained!
Agreed. I'm grateful to be able to stay home with my kids right now and not have to send them to daycare. If I did have to though, I'd want to use a daycare that was willing to work with my kids to support what I was trying to do at home, whether it was introducing solids, PT, teaching them to share, etc.

Do you have the option of another daycare provider? If your DD is consistent at home with you guys I'd say now sounds like a great window to be working on PT. You will want to get everyone on the same page so she can settle into a routine and realize that this is the way it is and be consistent in every situation.
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Old 07-13-2013, 10:25 AM   #8
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Re: potty training and daycare

I am a daycare provider. I dont allow underwear here until a child is 2 weeks accident free. It is a HUGE sanitation issue to have a child having multiple accidents a day plus a large chunk of time for me to clean the child, the clothing and the floor (or furniture or carpet) after every accident. It is disgusting when the other kids walk thru or sit on the accident of another child. If a child is having 5 accidents a day and 15 minute clean up at each one....thats a lot of time that I am giving to one child and NOT giving to the others. Now imagine that scenario with a roomful of 2 and 3 year old kids potty training. Do you really think any parent in their right mind would send their kid to a daycare that smells of urine and where the staff is constantly cleaning up bodily fluids? the same room where kids play on the floor, where food is prepared, where kids take naps? please take a moment to think about what you are really asking your daycare to put up with it.

I would ask to discuss their potty training policy. You need to know exactly what they are and are not willing to do. Any good daycare is going to have the policy outlined in writing to handout to parents. I wouldnt expect them to put up with so many accidents. but I would expect them to offer potty times at multiple points during the day....not just stick your kid in a diaper and let them soil themselves.

another thought.....A LOT of kids take longer to potty train outside the home. It is very common. So I wouldnt necessarily think they are lying if they said your child is resistant at daycare, does not communicate need to go, does not tell them after the fact, or will not go on the potty when given the opportunity.
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Old 07-13-2013, 10:31 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nerissa View Post
I would not want to wnt a kid that was peeing in their underware that many times a day. They would be in oullups after the first accident.

If you are sending that many outfit changes and expecting daycare to deal with 5 or more acccidents in a day, IMO, that is not fair to daycare nor does it seem like your dd is completely r3ady to be in underware 100% of the time.

My daycare wont do underware until they are consistantly useing the pottyand staying dry
I agree.

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Originally Posted by luvsviola View Post
Being honest...I would not do that many outfit changes either. For my own kids...the second pair of wet clothes in 4 hours means you go back in a diaper and we try again tomorrow.
Agree with you, too.

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Originally Posted by doodah View Post
I am a daycare provider. I dont allow underwear here until a child is 2 weeks accident free. It is a HUGE sanitation issue to have a child having multiple accidents a day plus a large chunk of time for me to clean the child, the clothing and the floor (or furniture or carpet) after every accident. It is disgusting when the other kids walk thru or sit on the accident of another child. If a child is having 5 accidents a day and 15 minute clean up at each one....thats a lot of time that I am giving to one child and NOT giving to the others. Now imagine that scenario with a roomful of 2 and 3 year old kids potty training. Do you really think any parent in their right mind would send their kid to a daycare that smells of urine and where the staff is constantly cleaning up bodily fluids? the same room where kids play on the floor, where food is prepared, where kids take naps? please take a moment to think about what you are really asking your daycare to put up with it.

I would ask to discuss their potty training policy. You need to know exactly what they are and are not willing to do. Any good daycare is going to have the policy outlined in writing to handout to parents. I wouldnt expect them to put up with so many accidents. but I would expect them to offer potty times at multiple points during the day....not just stick your kid in a diaper and let them soil themselves.

another thought.....A LOT of kids take longer to potty train outside the home. It is very common. So I wouldnt necessarily think they are lying if they said your child is resistant at daycare, does not communicate need to go, does not tell them after the fact, or will not go on the potty when given the opportunity.
And this is a big reason why. I'm sure you'd be mortified of you found out your daughter splashed in little suzie's pee, or sat in a wet chair because Johnny had an accident. IMO (and I'm not a provider), that's asking way too much of your daycare.
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Old 07-13-2013, 12:08 PM   #10
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DD is in a big center daycare 4 days/week. Has PLing taken longer than it might if I was sah? Sure. But it's doable.
ITA with Doodah - cleaning up DDs pee is no biggie for me but I don't have the state looking over my shoulder plus 6-8 other 2YOs all running around! DCP has been SO great with CDs that I wanted to make PLing as easy as possible for them.
We did not switch DD to trainers at daycare til I thought she stood a good chance of doing well. Like OP she was bare butt at home rather frequently. I did realize that was kind of holding us back, so started "requiring" undies more frequently at home.
The TTT pullup trainers are awesome imo. I added a PUL backing to the soaker and make them out of scraps and upcycled stuff. They'll hold one pee pretty decently and DD always leaks in sposie pullups so dcp is on board with them. I left a couple pocket dipes in her bin with the simple statement "if at any time you really want to use these - seems sick, having a bad day, etc - feel free." Everything - trainers, undies, clothes - just goes in the wetbag.
OP are you sending DD in undies and shorts? We did a solid two weeks of dresses just to eliminate ONE frustration! GL, it can be so frustrating sometimes so I feel your pain!
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