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Old 01-31-2013, 10:21 AM   #31
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Re: Hypothetically if your daycare provider.....

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Originally Posted by kaia.aline View Post

Could you send the test and developmental milestones home with ALL your daycare kids?
I only have three kids in that age group. So, I'd have to get the others for each kid. It's specific to each age by month.

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Old 01-31-2013, 10:31 AM   #32
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Re: Hypothetically if your daycare provider.....

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Not even "bye". He has one sound that he uses all the time. "Aaay-ay-aaay" He says that for everything. He points, so we understand him, he has ideas and knows what he wants, but, doesn't speak. At 24 months, he should have had a minimum of 50 words. (if you count words that he makes up, like "wa" for water) But, he's 27 months, and has NO words at all.

But, it's more than that. I call him to lunch, but, he doesn't come unless he sees the other kids come. I ask him to get his cup, and he just sits there. I am concerned that he either doesn't have any language skills, or he can't hear me.

But, it also makes me angry that the doctor would dismiss it based on what the "provider" said.
This is really sad. For the posters who said it's not your place to intervene, if the parent has NO IDEA their child is so far behind, someone needs to come to the child's rescue. The longer it takes for him to get help, the farther behind he'll be and the harder it will be to catch up.

It does sound like he needs his hearing checked. I've known a couple kids who's speech improved dramatically after getting their hearing tested and got tubes.
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Old 01-31-2013, 10:31 AM   #33
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Re: Hypothetically if your daycare provider.....

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Not even "bye". He has one sound that he uses all the time. "Aaay-ay-aaay" He says that for everything. He points, so we understand him, he has ideas and knows what he wants, but, doesn't speak. At 24 months, he should have had a minimum of 50 words. (if you count words that he makes up, like "wa" for water) But, he's 27 months, and has NO words at all.

But, it's more than that. I call him to lunch, but, he doesn't come unless he sees the other kids come. I ask him to get his cup, and he just sits there. I am concerned that he either doesn't have any language skills, or he can't hear me.

But, it also makes me angry that the doctor would dismiss it based on what the "provider" said.
This makes me very sad.

Re: what you said earlier about her not having a standard to compare him to, like other kids herself or in the family, sorry, but no. I am a FTM and had my kid in birth to three at age 1. I have no kid experience AT ALL. It really sounds like she is in denial.

I also don't really buy that the doctor said that. I mean, yes, she could have said that you brought it up, but that doesn't change the fact that HE HAS NO WORDS!! This would have to come up in a discussion btw parent and doctor regardless of whether you brought it up or not. Either that, or the doctor is a total loser, which is possible, but I think not likely. I get that some doctors may under-refer, but seriously, no words at age 27 months??? Something is wrong, it should be addressed, and I applaud you for trying to help him.

I can see why you would be angry that the doctor seemingly dismissed your concerns, but I do wonder again, whether she unintentionally misconstrued what he said.

They did some sort of evaluation at my daughter's daycare. It was not an official test, just like, they have parent-teacher conferences once a year (in the one yr old room) so they had a check list.

I still think pushing her toward birth to three, perhaps delicately and while talking about the attributes of the program, is the way to go. Maybe she doesn't even know it exists?
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Old 01-31-2013, 10:38 AM   #34
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Re: Hypothetically if your daycare provider.....

I trusted the people we used for 9 years. If they pointed out a concern to me that they've seen in my child compared to 5-10 children of the same age damn right I'd get it looked at. I'd push for testing for sure there's no harm only a benefit for my child. imo. Hopefully, language development will come up at the well visit, it did for us but all peds are different.
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Old 01-31-2013, 10:48 AM   #35
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As previous poster wrote, put it in the form of a question, now that would work on me and not offend. Children who are born in hospitals, don't they have their hearing tested at birth? Sending the test thing home with all children makes sense too. That way she can't be offended if everyone got one. Now if you tell her that and she talks to other moms who didn't receive them, that could start trouble also. So if you do do that make sure everyone gets one.
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Old 01-31-2013, 10:58 AM   #36
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Re: Hypothetically if your daycare provider.....

Okay, here is a point of clarification: What is the mom's attitude to the pedi's dismissiveness? Is she nonchalant, like, "Oh, it's not a problem bc the Pedi said so" or is she more hesitant/questioning/exasperated with the doc?
If she seems AT ALL receptive to your concerns (has she ever said that she agrees/notices the same things?) maybe suggest that "the pedi will take it more seriously if YOU say that YOU have noticed this instead of DCP."

I WOH FT and get 2.5-3hrs with DD M-F including daycare pickup, dinner, bath, bedtime, and repeat calls for water and blankies :-) I would definitely, definitely notice if she was unable to do something, struggling, etc. She has been in daycare since 10 weeks (2YO now) and I honestly can't think of a single time that she did/didn't do something that the DCP had to point out to us (our answer has always been "Yup... been doing that at home too. So cute/weird/annoying/funny..." So if the mom's not sharing your concerns at all... the more I think about it, the more of a concern that becomes. The mom should be aware and should understand (internally, really understand) that these problems should be evaluated.
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Old 01-31-2013, 11:25 AM   #37
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Re: Hypothetically if your daycare provider.....

Ugh first off I am sad for those that wish to spend more time with their children but can't. If I had a dcp that I trusted (wouldn't send my DS to one who I didn't) then I would listen and be as concerned as dcp about these things, It could be nothing but it could be a delay that can be worked on now so it doesn't. My DS was a late talker but now he is just three had 6 months of speech therapy and is doing great. So great he doesn't need it anymore. But at the time of the test it was a very grey area where is was just below what was expected. He got some help and is doing better. I was so happy for the help and would welcome anyone who cares about me and my Ds to speak up if they see a problem.

I think you need to consider this moms personality and relationship with her child before decided to give this test to her and recommend more help from pedi. I want to say yes do it but if she will likely close down on you then it may not be worth it? And from there I may try to keep a daily log for all kids and progress and stuff. Which you may already do? And let her know that you will be there for her if she need help. And if it can be built into your day activities to help this little one.
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Old 01-31-2013, 11:25 AM   #38
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Re: Hypothetically if your daycare provider.....

I don't mean to be stereotyping or anything but is english her first language? Are they new Americans?

I only ask because maybe she just took what the doctor said because that's all she knows, some people trust their doctors 100% and don't question anything esp. immigrants who have not experienced stellar health care.

I'm wondering if there is some way you might suggest you go with her as an advocate to the doctors appointment. Maybe she needs someone with her to ask questions she doesn't think of or can't ask for some reason.

Honestly I would be really concerned for the little boy, that he get tested appropriately and I would probably be VERY frank with the parent and say look here is what I have seen and I really think he needs to be tested.

Hurt feelings or not the little boy needs some help.
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Old 01-31-2013, 11:40 AM   #39
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Re: Hypothetically if your daycare provider.....

I really feel for the provider (OP, right?) in this scenario. It's a tough place to be in, especially when you see the child in a different/group setting for an extended period of time. I know the provider isn't a physician, but then again a physician isn't seeing the day-to-day activities and interactions that could indicate a problem. And being an MD doesn't make you infallible. I was the caregiver for an infant with severe physical issues (missing kidney, heart malformation, pinched trachea) that were linked to cognitive delays, and it took his pediatrician 9 months to find anything wrong! The mom and I were both beside ourselves trying to keep this kid healthy, and the pediatrician just kept refilling the antibiotic Rx.

So might some moms be offended? From PP on here I guess so, but if the concern is coming from a genuine and caring place, and the issues are raised in a respectful manner, then I think it's worth taking the chance in order to get early intervention where needed.
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Old 01-31-2013, 11:45 AM   #40
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I wouldn't be offended. I like the idea of the informal evals done by the pp's dcp and results brought up at a conference. Even if its more informal than that, could you print out a "what to expect at age _" and check off the things? And do one for each child if each age. Then say to each parent, thought you'd like to see how they are progressing or w/e.

I'm shocked at the number of people who'd be all offended and leave your care. I used to teach in preschools and daycares and we had no problem bringing up concerns. Frankly, I wouldn't send my child to someone who wouldn't notice or say things they were concerned about. We had many kids there from 6:30am-6:30pm and they would get home at 7, eat, bathe, bed before 8 ang gym nursery/babysitters on weekends so we spent more waking hours with their kids and noticed more. We had a 3 yr old who had many issues that we believed were hearing related. Mom brushed us off time and again and even the doc did a cursory hearing test. We pushed and it turns out he had severe hearing deficiencies. We had been telling her since he was 2.

I wouldn't even mind if you had done a few of the things on the test and gave me a copy and said, "I'm not an official evaluator but I do this with my kids to make sure everyone is ready for preschool (or w/e) and I have some concerns. Maybe you can read thru and see if you notice the same things?"

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