Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

[MakingHome]

Originally Posted by EmilytheStrange this is what sealed the deal for us. I was having to pump while listening to my baby scream to be held. It dawned on me 'what in the world am I doing?' My child wants me. I put down the pump. It made all the difference in the world.

I'm amazed by women who stick with pumping. I did it the first week when my oldest was in the NICU and have never done it again. I'm sure my experience and all was tainted because of my horrible birth experience, worries about my little guy, and the pain of the actual pump but still I am amazed by those who are able to pump for any length of time. I wouldn't be able to do it, I think.

[EmilytheStrange]

I would have pumped forever if needed..

except that pumping instead of holding a crying baby sounds ridiculous to me.

[JennTheMomma]

Many of my clients will pump for a year or even 2. It is a hassle, but it really depends on how you feel about breastmilk vs formula. I had problems with ds2. He had back and neck issues which made nursing for the first few months difficult, sometimes painful, and it truly was a hassle. But for me, nursing was important for his health and mine, and I can say I am glad I stuck with it. After that it got easy and I nursed until he weaned himself right after his second birthday. Plus I didn't want to buy formula, bottles, have to wash bottles daily, bring a diaper bag with formula/bottles (I rarely use a diaper bag), and so on. Formula was seen more of a hassle *to me* then figuring out breastfeeding ds2. Nursing for many is easy, straightforward and rewarding. For others it may be a hassle at first, but it can get better and be easy with support.

[Treasures From Elf]

Originally Posted by KaleidoscopeEyes Me neither. It makes me sad, it makes me sick and I refuse to be friends with anyone like that.

Welp, you would be glad to know that none of "anyone like that" would every want to be your friend.

And if you react like that to every parenting decision, well, you probably will not have many if any friends at all.

[Bellaroo]

Originally Posted by MyLovely I guess this is the problem with being both crunchy and a feminist. Women already loan their bodies for ten months to grow a human. Not everyone wants to keep loaning their body afterwards, and there's nothing wrong with that. I would also venture to guess that the "excuses" so many deem awful (I want to work, I want a glass of wine at night, I don't want my bobs to sag) are only offered up in the first place because it's so socially unacceptable to say "I really just don't want to breastfeed." I don't think it's sad when babies are formula fed. I think it's sad when moms miserably live off of chicken and rice to maintain a nursing relationship with a baby who has severe food intolerances. I think it's sad when women spend hours a day pumping, not interacting with their kids. I think it's sad when women suffer PPD and try to power through it rather than take medicine so that their baby can keep nursing and not get any medication. I think it's sad when women have to pass up on something they really want to do because their baby won't take a bottle of expressed milk. I think it's sad when women surpass the one year mark and then grit their teeth and fight back tears while their toddler nurses because they're so touched out.

To the bolded: Exactly. Not all of us are gifted in the maternal area. Some of us struggle through pregnancy and don't have the desire to breastfeed. Some of us don't like to be touched a lot and can't imagine having a newborn attached to them for hours on end. I can respect a woman for knowing the limits of her body and her mental health and choosing to formula feed.

If a mum chooses to use formula straight out of the gate, more power to them. I'd much rather a baby be fed formula in a healthy environment than to be nursed by a mum who resents the act.

[aemarques]

This is something I definitely struggle with but have to remember I can't control or influence everyone. I feel VERY strongly about breastfeeding.

Lots of friends are having babies right now and I totally encourage breastfeeding to them. But some give up so easily and I don't think are in the right mind set. Breastfeeding is NOT easy, especially if going to work. Its something that takes a lot of time, dedication and hard work and I believe it is THAT important and should be the only option. Babies aren't meant to drink artificial milk formula to imitate breastmilk. It is not good for them, it simply provides calorie intake to survive. I've read several studies about formula and SIDS because of bacteria build up in the gut.

Formula has never been an option in my mind. If DD was allergic to everything I ate except for mushrooms, I'd only eat them (I hate mushrooms). And if that didn't work or I had serious supply issues I'd ask my sister to pump for me. The thought of feeding my daughter formula disgusts me, I'd find a doner, something, anything. But that's truly how strong I feel about it.

I see moms propping bottles, going out and drinking/partying, just plain old not bonding with baby like they should be. Feeding formula because they need their freedom. If they wanted baby so badly then why?

Society's "norms" are terrible and it drives me insane. Sorry went off on a terrible tangent, just needed to vent, ive seen too many bad moms lately.

[B]And I don't want to be mistaken not saying all formula feeding moms are bad.

[FindingMercy]

Originally Posted by aemarques Lots of friends are having babies right now and I totally encourage breastfeeding to them. But some give up so easily and I don't think are in the right mind set. Breastfeeding is NOT easy, especially if going to work. Its something that takes a lot of time, dedication and hard work and I believe it is THAT important and should be the only option. Babies aren't meant to drink artificial milk formula to imitate breastmilk. It is not good for them, it simply provides calorie intake to survive. I've read several studies about formula and SIDS because of bacteria build up in the gut. Formula has never been an option in my mind. If DD was allergic to everything I ate except for mushrooms, I'd only eat them (I hate mushrooms). And if that didn't work or I had serious supply issues I'd ask my sister to pump for me. The thought of feeding my daughter formula disgusts me, I'd find a doner, something, anything. But that's truly how strong I feel about it. I see moms propping bottles, going out and drinking/partying, just plain old not bonding with baby like they should be. Feeding formula because they need their freedom. If they wanted baby so badly then why? Society's "norms" are terrible and it drives me insane. Sorry went off on a terrible tangent, just needed to vent, ive seen too many bad moms lately. [B]And I don't want to be mistaken not saying all formula feeding moms are bad.

Moms who don't breastfeed aren't bad you say, but they are...

-giving up too easily
-offering food that should not even be an option
-feeding them something that's bad for them
-subjecting their baby to a higher rate of SIDS
-not willing to eat a diet their baby needs them to eat
-not willing to sacrifice their own health to care for their child
-not willing to go to greater lengths to provide breastmilk to their child through lactating women other than themselves (don't forget your donors would all have to live off mushrooms too)
-don't want their babies badly enough
-victim to societies terrible norms
-are potentially one of the "bad" formula feeding moms - they should check with you first though to see if they qualify

Got it!!!

[EmilytheStrange]

Originally Posted by aemarques This is something I definitely struggle with but have to remember I can't control or influence everyone. I feel VERY strongly about breastfeeding. Lots of friends are having babies right now and I totally encourage breastfeeding to them. But some give up so easily and I don't think are in the right mind set. Breastfeeding is NOT easy, especially if going to work. Its something that takes a lot of time, dedication and hard work and I believe it is THAT important and should be the only option. Babies aren't meant to drink artificial milk formula to imitate breastmilk. It is not good for them, it simply provides calorie intake to survive. I've read several studies about formula and SIDS because of bacteria build up in the gut. Formula has never been an option in my mind. If DD was allergic to everything I ate except for mushrooms, I'd only eat them (I hate mushrooms). And if that didn't work or I had serious supply issues I'd ask my sister to pump for me. The thought of feeding my daughter formula disgusts me, I'd find a doner, something, anything. But that's truly how strong I feel about it. I see moms propping bottles, going out and drinking/partying, just plain old not bonding with baby like they should be. Feeding formula because they need their freedom. If they wanted baby so badly then why? Society's "norms" are terrible and it drives me insane. Sorry went off on a terrible tangent, just needed to vent, ive seen too many bad moms lately. And I don't want to be mistaken not saying all formula feeding moms are bad.

but you are saying that. You're just trying to protect yourself at the end. I'm sorry.. but there are a lot of things people choose that I don't like. I most certainly do not go out on public forums and tell them that they and their behaviors disgust me. Or that they don't really want a baby because they make a different choice?

ugh.. I am disgusted.

[MyLovely]

Originally Posted by aemarques This is something I definitely struggle with but have to remember I can't control or influence everyone. I feel VERY strongly about breastfeeding. Lots of friends are having babies right now and I totally encourage breastfeeding to them. But some give up so easily and I don't think are in the right mind set. Breastfeeding is NOT easy, especially if going to work. Its something that takes a lot of time, dedication and hard work and I believe it is THAT important and should be the only option. Babies aren't meant to drink artificial milk formula to imitate breastmilk. It is not good for them, it simply provides calorie intake to survive. I've read several studies about formula and SIDS because of bacteria build up in the gut. Formula has never been an option in my mind. If DD was allergic to everything I ate except for mushrooms, I'd only eat them (I hate mushrooms). And if that didn't work or I had serious supply issues I'd ask my sister to pump for me. The thought of feeding my daughter formula disgusts me, I'd find a doner, something, anything. But that's truly how strong I feel about it. I see moms propping bottles, going out and drinking/partying, just plain old not bonding with baby like they should be. Feeding formula because they need their freedom. If they wanted baby so badly then why? Society's "norms" are terrible and it drives me insane. Sorry went off on a terrible tangent, just needed to vent, ive seen too many bad moms lately. [B]And I don't want to be mistaken not saying all formula feeding moms are bad.

Maybe you should take a look at how caught up you are in yourself. Stop projecting your beliefs and values on other people. Stop making assumptions about how bonded they are with their babies. Stop saying that women should never have children unless they are willing to do anything, no matter how extreme, to nurse.

[Nerissa]

Originally Posted by aemarques This is something I definitely struggle with but have to remember I can't control or influence everyone. I feel VERY strongly about breastfeeding. Lots of friends are having babies right now and I totally encourage breastfeeding to them. But some give up so easily and I don't think are in the right mind set. Breastfeeding is NOT easy, especially if going to work. Its something that takes a lot of time, dedication and hard work and I believe it is THAT important and should be the only option. Babies aren't meant to drink artificial milk formula to imitate breastmilk. It is not good for them, it simply provides calorie intake to survive. I've read several studies about formula and SIDS because of bacteria build up in the gut. Formula has never been an option in my mind. If DD was allergic to everything I ate except for mushrooms, I'd only eat them (I hate mushrooms). And if that didn't work or I had serious supply issues I'd ask my sister to pump for me. The thought of feeding my daughter formula disgusts me, I'd find a doner, something, anything. But that's truly how strong I feel about it. I see moms propping bottles, going out and drinking/partying, just plain old not bonding with baby like they should be. Feeding formula because they need their freedom. If they wanted baby so badly then why? Society's "norms" are terrible and it drives me insane. Sorry went off on a terrible tangent, just needed to vent, ive seen too many bad moms lately. [B]And I don't want to be mistaken not saying all formula feeding moms are bad.

umm wow-- I am not sure what to say.

I am not sure I have ever read a more judgemental post. i have to say i feel very sorry for any of your friends that are havnign babies especially any that use formula.