Closed Thread Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-31-2013, 04:24 PM   #121
bumminbeachbabe's Avatar
bumminbeachbabe
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Oregon
Posts: 4,346
Quote:
Originally Posted by JennTheMomma

Yes I know. I was just stating that *most* women with PPD do not commit suicide or harm their children. As someone who had PPD it bothers me when people make those comments when they are normally referring to the very rare case of PPP. People get the two mixed up a lot.

To the bolded I'm not sure if you're referring to opinions I made or to ones a PP made. Because I dont' judge those who formula feed, I just didn't want people to mix up PPD and PPP.
I don't think you're being judgmental. It's some of the other truly awful posts that I've seen in this thread. Honestly, if I had a friend who chose to discontinue our friendship because I don't conform to her parenting beliefs is a friend I don't need. We all know that formula is second best, but second best is better than nothing.

Sent from my iPhone using DS Forum

Advertisement

__________________
Anjuli, recently separated mom to Bubbles, my 5.5 year old wild man, Squidge, my almost 3 year old daredevil, and Lou, my 7 month old newbie
bumminbeachbabe is offline  
Old 01-31-2013, 04:26 PM   #122
FindingMercy's Avatar
FindingMercy
Registered Users
Formerly: Evie'sMama
seller
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 2,479
My Mood:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Treasures From Elf

Anyone who goes on breast feeding is best on my FB is immediately hidden. I just won't deal with it. Sad thing is, I used to be just like them, until I had to go through this journey with A.
It is amazing what a little personal experience does for your viewpoint and tolerance of things people say.
__________________
Married to Scott and Mama to Evelyn (5) Annabelle (3) and Abraham (1)

I blog about our family, trans-racial adoption, gluten-free cooking, and crafting

FindingMercy is offline  
Old 01-31-2013, 04:27 PM   #123
ashley84's Avatar
ashley84
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Iowa
Posts: 2,611
My Mood:
Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

I'm a strong proponent of breastfeeding. I nursed my son to 13.5 months. I'm currently 6-7 weeks pregnant and exclusively nursing my 4 month old. I'm seriously considering tandem nursing when the new baby arrives, but I might wean my daughter before then too. We'll see.

That said, I think we push breastfeeding WAY too hard these days. I had to do a three month internship with CPS in my state to finish my bachelor of social work degree in 2010. I had three different cases where breastfeeding moms used drugs or alcohol and some level of the substance was found in the baby's bloodstream. These moms should have formula fed. Two of them had lengthy criminal histories that were loaded with past drug charges. I shudder to think that they might have asked for formula in the hospital, but a well-meaning nurse or LC suggested the breast instead.
__________________
Liz (12 yrs), Jake (Feb '10), Josie (Sept '12), & Josh (Sept '13)
My 365: http://toomanyjs.blogspot.com/
ashley84 is offline  
Old 01-31-2013, 04:28 PM   #124
sandhillcranes's Avatar
sandhillcranes
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 5,800
My Mood:
Quote:
Originally Posted by MyLovely
I guess this is the problem with being both crunchy and a feminist. Women already loan their bodies for ten months to grow a human. Not everyone wants to keep loaning their body afterwards, and there's nothing wrong with that. I would also venture to guess that the "excuses" so many deem awful (I want to work, I want a glass of wine at night, I don't want my bobs to sag) are only offered up in the first place because it's so socially unacceptable to say "I really just don't want to breastfeed."

I don't think it's sad when babies are formula fed. I think it's sad when moms miserably live off of chicken and rice to maintain a nursing relationship with a baby who has severe food intolerances. I think it's sad when women spend hours a day pumping, not interacting with their kids. I think it's sad when women suffer PPD and try to power through it rather than take medicine so that their baby can keep nursing and not get any medication. I think it's sad when women have to pass up on something they really want to do because their baby won't take a bottle of expressed milk. I think it's sad when women surpass the one year mark and then grit their teeth and fight back tears while their toddler nurses because they're so touched out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by EmilytheStrange
I would have pumped forever if needed..

except that pumping instead of holding a crying baby sounds ridiculous to me.
Yes, yes and yes!!!!!

I hated pumping but I did it and I did it for a lot longer than most. I did it when DD started sleeping thru the night and I would lay awake alone listening to the pump.I couldnt get my medela pisa (a $279 pump) to pump as much as a hospital grade so we were renting the hospital grade. $80 a month and IDK how many times another mother would tell me how much cheaper breastmilk was. Or how time saving it was. I remember pumping one day with my toddler hanging on me, pulling me, begging me to play while my infant sat in my lap and I was holding my tatas. I am sensory and I couldnt stand the sensation of pumping with the pumping bra (which also cost quite a bit of $$) so before someone flies in to suggest that, it was tried.. At some point, you make the best choice for YOU and your whole family. I eventually stopped pumping bc I got over the idea of being wondermom, and settled for the mom who spends time playing with her kids, not holding her ta-tas.

I hope everyone feeling so superior on this thread never comes across something they fail at. They might just not know how to handle the stress, pressure, disappointment and judgement.
__________________
I'm Tia... and I love my family so much they should pay rent in my mind
If I haven't left you feedback, please pm me .
sandhillcranes is offline  
Old 01-31-2013, 04:32 PM   #125
EmilytheStrange's Avatar
EmilytheStrange
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Mountain Home, ID
Posts: 7,418
My Mood:
Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

Quote:
Originally Posted by Treasures From Elf View Post
My sister had PPD. It developed into PPP after she was put on an anti-depressant.











This is something I wrote almost a month ago, it still applies. Though when I say I was just like BFing advocates, yeah what I've seen on here takes the cake. I was more, try it, if you can't, oh well.

I have to admit I hate when people say crap like that. Short of EPing, my daughter just couldn't do breast milk, she is just NOW at 8 months leaving speech therapy, she literally could not form a suction to get milk out. Literally starving. I put her on formula, cried my heart out, and put myself on anti-depressants.

Then, I'd come and read stuff about how awful it is that mother's prop bottles, like in the store. All I could think of reading that was, "You do NOT know what the person's situation is." For me, yes I propped while I was shopping, it was the only way she would sleep and if I then had to put her in her carseat she would wake up and scream the entire 15 minutes home. But, on top of that, it literally broke my heart every time I had to feed her a bottle, and propping helped the pain.

I actually pawned some of the feedings off to my older two to help me deal with the heartache.

When a child can NOT take breast milk straight from the tap then Formula becomes the BEST for that child, no if ands or buts about it. It is unrealistic to expect every mother whose child can't get enough BFing to pump. Not every mother can do it. Many moms work. And donor milk is not always an option either. Asking a mother to get donor milk, when their finances might not be able to handle it is awful. And guilt tripping them is even worse.

Anyone who goes on breast feeding is best on my FB is immediately hidden. I just won't deal with it. Sad thing is, I used to be just like them, until I had to go through this journey with A.
I was too.
I simply couldn't understand women who made these choices.
I probably said some highly judgemental things myself.

but our personal journies teach us compassion. I wish we didn't have to go through those things. I do not even wish those things on people I see who are so harsh and judgemental - but I do wish there was a way to impart real compassion to them. I am happy for them that they get to live in their little world of perfect perceptions. I am a bit jealous of them.

but my journey is mine. and I simply kiss my daughter and remember that I do what's best for her. Not what's best for people on the internet.
__________________
SAHM to Magnolia May (09/10) and Luke Russett (04/13) and wife and best friend to my airman.
EmilytheStrange is offline  
Old 01-31-2013, 04:41 PM   #126
JustSomeChickVee
Banned
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,662
Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

Quote:
Originally Posted by sandhillcranes View Post
Yes, yes and yes!!!!!

I hated pumping but I did it and I did it for a lot longer than most. I did it when DD started sleeping thru the night and I would lay awake alone listening to the pump.I couldnt get my medela pisa (a $279 pump) to pump as much as a hospital grade so we were renting the hospital grade. $80 a month and IDK how many times another mother would tell me how much cheaper breastmilk was. Or how time saving it was. I remember pumping one day with my toddler hanging on me, pulling me, begging me to play while my infant sat in my lap and I was holding my tatas. I am sensory and I couldnt stand the sensation of pumping with the pumping bra (which also cost quite a bit of $$) so before someone flies in to suggest that, it was tried.. At some point, you make the best choice for YOU and your whole family. I eventually stopped pumping bc I got over the idea of being wondermom, and settled for the mom who spends time playing with her kids, not holding her ta-tas.

I hope everyone feeling so superior on this thread never comes across something they fail at. They might just not know how to handle the stress, pressure, disappointment and judgement.
lol holding her tatas. this is pretty much why I don't think I'll be BFing. lip ties are supposedly genetic.... and that's evident in my family. my dad and his siblings all have them and had latch issues. Both my sister and I had them. and my son had one... I personally don't want to clip a lip tie, that's very painful. While I am a strong proponent of BFing and extended BFing, and for those lurking in SS I would not want to be with someone who feels that either is gross or wrong, my experience with DS was a NIGHTMARE. and he suffered for it. There would be times where i would be trying to pump and feed him at the same time. or he would just be screaming while i pumped... or the one time i was at my mom's and i was starving and she had to feed me food while i pumped and attempted to rock DS at the same time. I spent hours a day pumping and not bonding with him the way I could have. and that bonding issue effects us still. I don't want him AND my next child to suffer that way.

ETA: I'll probably try but considering the latch issues, the supply issues i had even on domperidone which i will not take again, and the fact that i had a breast reduction, I'm not going to push it the way I did with DS.

Last edited by JustSomeChickVee; 01-31-2013 at 04:42 PM.
JustSomeChickVee is offline  
Old 01-31-2013, 04:46 PM   #127
GreenDahlia's Avatar
GreenDahlia
Registered
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 593
My Mood:
Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kätzchen View Post
Meh. I have smelled infant formula, it's disgusting. I would feel ashamed of myself if I fed my baby genetically modified food byproducts as their sole source of intake. That said, I tend to be an overachiever. I'll support breastfeeding as much as possible, because, it is and always will be far superior. It's a shame that [ideal human] nutrition comes second to so many.
And what if your daughter was unable to breastfeed? Would you be ashamed of her for using formula? I can't believe that you are so incredibly focused on the feeding aspect that you have lost sight of compassion for other human beings. Show me two people. One formula fed and one breast fed. Try to tell the difference. Now show me two people: one who is raised in a loving, compassionate home. One raised with abuse and neglect. I guarantee you'll be able to tell the difference. Tell me again why nutrition is THAT important?

Quote:
Originally Posted by bumminbeachbabe View Post
I don't think you're being judgmental. It's some of the other truly awful posts that I've seen in this thread. Honestly, if I had a friend who chose to discontinue our friendship because I don't conform to her parenting beliefs is a friend I don't need. We all know that formula is second best, but second best is better than nothing.

Sent from my iPhone using DS Forum
I agree completely.
__________________
Erin
Lucky to be Brian's wife
and mama to Nora (3 years) and Lucy (11 months)
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
~Mae West
GreenDahlia is offline  
Old 01-31-2013, 04:51 PM   #128
Computermama
Banned
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 13,800
My Mood:
Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

I will admit that this is something that I put my judgypants on for. I'm not proud of it, and it shouldn't matter but something in the back of my head says "Really? You're not even going to try?"

Ultimately I do believe that every mom should do what's best for her and her family, and what I think doesn't matter. I could NOT nurse my oldest, I was simply in too much pain and there was too much trauma from her birth, I gave up after three weeks. I not only don't regret it, but still think 5 years later that it was the right decision at that place and time with what support I had. I do wish things had been different, and that I could have nursed her, but in the situation I was in, I made the right decision - I became a different mom when I could stop stressing over breastfeeding.

And before everyone gets down on me, I feel the same even about my mother. She tried everything with me, finally got me latched well, healed up, but because the doctor wasn't happy with my weight gain he strong armed her into formula feeding. From the way she describes my babyhood I think today I'd have been diagnosed with GERD. Fast forward 2 years and she went straight for the formula with my sister. I know nursing me was traumatic, I know she simply didn't want to go through that since the doctor had her convinced that her milk was not good enough, but part of me is sad she didn't even try. I'd like to say that I'm the kind of person who could just shrug it off and tell people that it didn't matter, but to me it does. Outside of medical reasons, I really do think that every mom should try it. Especially FTMs - how do you know you don't want to if you've never given it a shot?
Computermama is offline  
Old 01-31-2013, 04:53 PM   #129
mcpforever's Avatar
mcpforever
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Bama
Posts: 11,738
My Mood:
Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

Quote:
Originally Posted by sandhillcranes View Post

I hope everyone feeling so superior on this thread never comes across something they fail at. They might just not know how to handle the stress, pressure, disappointment and judgement.
I was just thinking this as I read through all of the "I'd never stoop to such a level" comments. Thank you for writing it for me. It is truly heartbreaking to find yourself in a position you have preached against. The guilt, the depression, the tears all disconnect you from your child far more than not having them on the boob. And really what good is raising a perfectly physically healthy child if they are missing out emotionally?
__________________
Melissa-Wife, mother to DS 4/02 and DD 4/07, DS 7/08 DD 7/13
ISO: my lost shaker of salt
mcpforever is offline  
Old 01-31-2013, 05:07 PM   #130
JustSomeChickVee
Banned
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,662
Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kätzchen View Post
Meh. I have smelled infant formula, it's disgusting. I would feel ashamed of myself if I fed my baby genetically modified food byproducts as their sole source of intake. That said, I tend to be an overachiever. I'll support breastfeeding as much as possible, because, it is and always will be far superior. It's a shame that [ideal human] nutrition comes second to so many.
Uh, sorry, my homemade formula tasted like breast milk. And it was free of GMOs.

You do realize there are organic commercial formulas as well, right?

you're an over achiever? so, because you breastfed successfully, you're an over achiever? i wonder how many issues you actually dealt with....
JustSomeChickVee is offline  
Closed Thread

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright © 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.