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Old 02-01-2013, 07:09 PM   #221
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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Originally Posted by doodah View Post
okay that was worth quoting, LOL

yes I see that superior mom thing in many scenarios. Like one mom i know is so gung ho about natural birth that it is annoying to everyone, even other supporters of non-medicated/no-intervention births. But this same mom "tv trains" her kids starting at a couple weeks old. That is what she calls it....tv training. the goal is to have them sit still and watch a one hour movie by 12 months old and yes, she verbalizes this as an official goal that they "work" towards. i really find her to be a very insecure person. she is so quick to talk about births and go on and on yet trains her infants to watch long lengths of tv time. her school ager is addicted to video games. anyway, i find that to be true...that holier-than-thou moms are usually very lacking in other areas and trying to prove something in another area
I can honestly say I have never heard of tv training a kid. My kids needed no tv training because my kids are just naturally tv smart. They self train to tv watching really fast.

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Old 02-01-2013, 07:12 PM   #222
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

I've only read a few posts of this thread because it has gotten out of control but here are my two cents. My pediatrician recommended that I supplement with formula for my son. I know a lot of people think that pediatricians don't always know what is best, but they do have a medical degree while most of us on here do not.

I also think it is terrible for people to judge other parenting unless they are actively putting their children in danger. Formula is not the enemy here. Ignorance is.
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Old 02-01-2013, 07:18 PM   #223
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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I wasn't saying that formula is a toxic substance that babies do not thrive on, I was saying it is not human milk, therefore, it is a substitute and of a lesser quality. There is no denying that breastmilk is more nutritionally suited for human babies.

That said, many, many formula fed babies grow up to be very healthy and fit individuals, myself included. But that does not make the risks associated with formula feeding any less valid. And to be clear, I had a younger sibling die from NEC associated with formula use.
I think what people are saying is that in some instances, there are risks to mother and baby BY continuing to breastfed. its not a black and white discussion
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Old 02-01-2013, 07:50 PM   #224
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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I have to wonder what all the EBF moms feed their kids after they wean. I mean this EBF business is sooo important to many moms, and then their kids wind up eating processed junk for the rest of their lives. How many moms who ebf'd their kids now feed them hot dogs, pop tarts, food dyes, fruit that gets sucked out of a plastic pouch and canned soup, lol! Judge not, y'all! Someone mentioned that some formulas have GMOs. Uhm, hello (and I realize that poster is from Europe and her country may have higher food standards), but good luck maintaining a GMO free diet in the US. Not gonna happen.

So, yeah, I used to get all stirred up about this topic, but no longer. Cheers!
i find this hilarious! and so right on. everyone on the BFing/FFing teams make new teams with the organic/junk food topic and start whacking on each other about other issues. its always something. i find it cool that even very involved dads rarely get involved in that. i think we might benefit by taking some cues from men in the world. i know tons of moms that cannot be friends with other moms that parent differently....but dads seem better able to connect regardless of parenting styles. interesting....
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Old 02-01-2013, 08:09 PM   #225
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

i just want to say kudos to all the many posters who support mothers regardless of their choices to BF or not BF. I found this thread to be more inspirational than disappointing.

just a comment from my own experience....

i found that i bond better with my kids when i am not breast feeding. while i do BF all my kids, i really am uncomfortable BFing and dont find it to be the magical experience that other people have. Its not painful for me, I just dont like it and look forward weaning. I dont at all believe that a child will have attachment issues just because they do not breastfeed. I think BFing is a factor in attachment but certainly not the only factor.
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Old 02-01-2013, 08:12 PM   #226
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

I do think it is sad, mainly that I feel their is stigma attached to breastfeeding in a lot of cases - misinformation, feeling that it's uncomfortable or unnatural, or not being supported by friends or loved one. If there was more support I think more women would choose to right off the bat. If you don't choose to it doesn't make you a bad mom in any sense of the word. I just think it's sad that formula has become so common that breastfeeding isn't even considered by some moms.
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Old 02-01-2013, 08:15 PM   #227
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Breastfeeding does NOT equal automatic bonding. Just saying. For some it's hard. If someone thinks its gross then that's their opinion. I have a friend who was so creeped out by the idea she chose to just formula feed from the start. She was fine when I did it but for her, it just didn't work. She still bonded with her baby.
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Old 02-01-2013, 08:27 PM   #228
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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I think your point about stigma in relationship to bfing is valid...I, personally, think it can work in both directions. If I were to bf in the food court at my local mall, I'd get stares, probably some remarks. But if I were to bottle feed in the food court at the mall in Ithaca (1.5 hrs from me) I get dirty looks for that, too.

But that's beside the point...our society has a complex relationship with breasts and, by extension, breastfeeding. Yes, breasts are intended for feeding; we are, after all, mammals. But we are also thinking, feeling beings. And breasts are sexual. They're an erogenous zone for most women. They're beautiful an sensual whether they have a baby attached or not. And we know that breasts turn many men (and some women ) on...and knowing that you turn someone on is, in turn, a turnon. So there's primary, secondary, and tertiary sexual pleasure that can be attributed to the power of the boob. I get that this saturates our popular culture excessively, but I don't think you can discount that we, as a society, have conflicted thoughts and perceptions about breasts, but that is probably b/c they're dual-use, and occasionally they even have no use at all
Yep....agreed. And, you totally made me
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Old 02-01-2013, 09:20 PM   #229
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I think that breast feeding my kids has been an amazing experience. I love it. I have been nursing for a solid 7 years, no breaks. I'm tandem nursing for my second time. I feel 100% sure that it was the right way for me to go.

However, I have never had any latch issues. I'm a SAHM so I have never had to pump. I've never had to experience some of the challenges that so many women have had to face. I'm grateful to say, I've had the easy road.

That being said, when I hear about women pumping while their baby cries or being in constant pain, or having a hungry baby that won't latch on correctly, I think about how awful it would be and what a toll that would take on mama, baby, husband and other siblings. How frustrating and stressful that would be!!!

I don't think breast feeding has been successful for me due to me being so awesome or having such a superior love for my children. I got lucky and it was easy for me. The ways in which I am challenged by motherhood are the ways in which I truly show how much I love my kids are the things that are hard. Like waking up to feed them and read stories to them when I desperately want to sleep. Or rocking them for hours in the night when they are screaming. Or dragging my butt outside to play with them. And oh my goodness do I have a long list of failures. Long, long list.

I loved the person who posted about pumping while their baby was crying to be held and having the realization of how ridiculous it was. What her baby needed was to be held! That is what made that baby feel safe and loved. What a sweet moment of motherhood that was! Realizing that the baby's emotional well-being was infinitely more important than having perfect milk. What a success that was.

I have a big problem with this idea that breast feeding is like a one time train to excellent motherhood. As if when you don't have a perfect birth, EBF, not circumcise, never let your baby cry for a second you've missed this one time window to bonding. What a load of bull!

Most importantly, I think that life is about being the most loving, generous and accepting person that you can be. It is infinitely more important than breast feeding. Even if they have the perfect diet as a baby, if they have been modeled a rigid, unforgiving attitude towards others by their parents, they will grow up fearful of their inevitable mistakes. They will internalize that the only way to be worthy is to be perfect. What if mommy has the same conditional affection for them that they have for everyone else who doesn't agree with them on every issue?
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Old 02-02-2013, 01:13 AM   #230
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Quote:
Originally Posted by listalees
I think that breast feeding my kids has been an amazing experience. I love it. I have been nursing for a solid 7 years, no breaks. I'm tandem nursing for my second time. I feel 100% sure that it was the right way for me to go.

However, I have never had any latch issues. I'm a SAHM so I have never had to pump. I've never had to experience some of the challenges that so many women have had to face. I'm grateful to say, I've had the easy road.

That being said, when I hear about women pumping while their baby cries or being in constant pain, or having a hungry baby that won't latch on correctly, I think about how awful it would be and what a toll that would take on mama, baby, husband and other siblings. How frustrating and stressful that would be!!!

I don't think breast feeding has been successful for me due to me being so awesome or having such a superior love for my children. I got lucky and it was easy for me. The ways in which I am challenged by motherhood are the ways in which I truly show how much I love my kids are the things that are hard. Like waking up to feed them and read stories to them when I desperately want to sleep. Or rocking them for hours in the night when they are screaming. Or dragging my butt outside to play with them. And oh my goodness do I have a long list of failures. Long, long list.

I loved the person who posted about pumping while their baby was crying to be held and having the realization of how ridiculous it was. What her baby needed was to be held! That is what made that baby feel safe and loved. What a sweet moment of motherhood that was! Realizing that the baby's emotional well-being was infinitely more important than having perfect milk. What a success that was.

I have a big problem with this idea that breast feeding is like a one time train to excellent motherhood. As if when you don't have a perfect birth, EBF, not circumcise, never let your baby cry for a second you've missed this one time window to bonding. What a load of bull!

Most importantly, I think that life is about being the most loving, generous and accepting person that you can be. It is infinitely more important than breast feeding. Even if they have the perfect diet as a baby, if they have been modeled a rigid, unforgiving attitude towards others by their parents, they will grow up fearful of their inevitable mistakes. They will internalize that the only way to be worthy is to be perfect. What if mommy has the same conditional affection for them that they have for everyone else who doesn't agree with them on every issue?
Great post...I totally agree. I'm with you. Bfing has been easy for me and I'm also grateful. If I had to pump we would have issues. I hate pumping and it really messes with my supply. I can totally understand why it would be more important to bond with baby than spend hours pumping.

While I try to make the best choices I can for my family, I know other moms do the same. And believe me, just because I ebf I have plenty of areas that I feel like I fall short in too. I don't expect the mother of the year award just for nursing
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