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Old 02-04-2013, 01:14 PM   #321
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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I see what you're saying. That is kind of a tough line to walk though, espeically when you are firmly in one camp it's hard not to point out certain things. Almost like justifiying yourself. And that is true all over the board.... The ERF car seat pushers will show you videos of kids that died while forward facing, the anti-circ people will scream mutilation, the spanker people will scream abused, warped children. And just so no one gets offended at those things....I am not an ERF, we had DS circed, and we do spank.

So how do you get your point across without downing the other side. Even just "breastmilk is best" can set off some people who are sensitive if they are going through that struggle right now or have been through it recently. And it makes it that much harder since you can't hear somebody's tone. I guess if I had my way I'd tell everyone to put on their big girl panties and move on. Not everyone has to agree with you about everything and that's okay.
I think you just speak your point with tact. These threads will always have debate but carefully chosen words are more palatable than calling something garbage.

Making your point with compassion for those who may be hurt by your point is a classy thing to do. Catch more flies with honey, KWIM?

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Old 02-04-2013, 02:07 PM   #322
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

I lose respect for anyone that doesn't even try to breastfeed. It doesn't necessarily make them a bad mother, but it does make them a mother that could have chosen the best for their child, but instead chose an inferior method of feeding. And that is just something I cannot understand when I work so incredibly hard and strive every day to do what is best for my children - not to mention overcame so many obstacles to be able to still be breastfeeding my current 9 month old. But, I've also failed to breastfeed a child despite my efforts. Part of it was out of my control, part of it was a lack of support and education, so I feel for mothers that tried and just didn't have enough support or truly are not able to.

All that said, I try my best to advocate and be a supportive person that helps others with breastfeeding, but don't belittle anyone that still chooses formula. In the end, I try to be compassionate.

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Old 02-04-2013, 02:09 PM   #323
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

Every time I think Yes! This thread is moving forward! I read something like this "I lose respect for anyone that doesn't even try to breastfeed. " and it makes me want to hurl.
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Old 02-04-2013, 02:14 PM   #324
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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I lose respect for anyone that doesn't even try to breastfeed. It doesn't necessarily make them a bad mother, but it does make them a mother that could have chosen the best for their child, but instead chose an inferior method of feeding. And that is just something I cannot understand when I work so incredibly hard and strive every day to do what is best for my children - not to mention overcame so many obstacles to be able to still be breastfeeding my current 9 month old. But, I've also failed to breastfeed a child despite my efforts. Part of it was out of my control, part of it was a lack of support and education, so I feel for mothers that tried and just didn't have enough support or truly are not able to.

All that said, I try my best to advocate and be a supportive person that helps others with breastfeeding, but don't belittle anyone that still chooses formula. In the end, I try to be compassionate.

http://www.thealphaparent.com/2011/1...aby-is-my.html
I find this very contradictory. I can only guess your first statement is intended for people that you know for a fact why they choose not to bf. That is the only way this makes sense to me.
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Old 02-04-2013, 02:28 PM   #325
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

I don't judge FF unless they are women who go around saying "BF is so gross." or something like that. Otherwise, I figure I don't know their reasons for FF and it's their choice to make. I get to choose how I feed my baby and they get to choose how to feed theirs. Not a big deal. I don't say negative things about FF, either.
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Old 02-04-2013, 02:44 PM   #326
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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I find this very contradictory. I can only guess your first statement is intended for people that you know for a fact why they choose not to bf. That is the only way this makes sense to me.
I'm with you. That post seems very contradictory to me too.
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Old 02-04-2013, 03:03 PM   #327
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I lose respect for anyone that doesn't even try to breastfeed. It doesn't necessarily make them a bad mother, but it does make them a mother that could have chosen the best for their child, but instead chose an inferior method of feeding. And that is just something I cannot understand when I work so incredibly hard and strive every day to do what is best for my children - not to mention overcame so many obstacles to be able to still be breastfeeding my current 9 month old. But, I've also failed to breastfeed a child despite my efforts. Part of it was out of my control, part of it was a lack of support and education, so I feel for mothers that tried and just didn't have enough support or truly are not able to.

All that said, I try my best to advocate and be a supportive person that helps others with breastfeeding, but don't belittle anyone that still chooses formula. In the end, I try to be compassionate.

http://www.thealphaparent.com/2011/1...aby-is-my.html
so you lose respect for.someone because you assume what? That you know their reasons?, their reasons are unimportant? You have an holier than attitude?
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Old 02-04-2013, 03:50 PM   #328
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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I'm with you. That post seems very contradictory to me too.
Maybe the idea is that even though she may lose respect, she keeps her mouth shut in front of those as she silently forms her opinions.
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Old 02-04-2013, 03:54 PM   #329
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Every time I think Yes! This thread is moving forward! I read something like this "I lose respect for anyone that doesn't even try to breastfeed. " and it makes me want to hurl.
Thumbs up!!!!!!
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Old 02-04-2013, 04:47 PM   #330
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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Every time I think Yes! This thread is moving forward! I read something like this "I lose respect for anyone that doesn't even try to breastfeed. " and it makes me want to hurl.
Exactly.

Some women don't even try to breastfeed because their life depends on meds that aren't safe while breastfeeding... or their mental health depends on dangerous meds... or because they've had a mastectomy... or because they were themselves victims of sexual abuse and they have issues regarding breasts and sexuality that they just can't get over. Those are all very personal, private matters that they might not want to share. Women in those situations shouldn't feel like they have to choose between airing their dirty laundry or losing the respect of their peers.

BTW, in order to get respect, you also have to give it.
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