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Old 02-08-2013, 01:52 PM   #421
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

For the person talking about getting touched.

I absolutely HATE being touched. It didn't used to be this way but as time goes on and I've had more children and the number of people touching me increased, this is what happens.

I let anyone under the age of around 6 touch me whenever they need to. Occasionally, I will mention that I need space. Between 3-6, I teach them about personal boundaries.

Older than that, I prefer them to ask. I have valid reasons, that are mine and personal.

If ANY of them are hurt, I am there, tending to them, hugging them and loving on them. They are not lacking in physical touch. I give hugs every day to all of them, multiple times, whether I like to or not. I kiss them every day. I tell them I love them every day.

They are not emotionally or physically scarred.

:twitch:

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Old 02-08-2013, 03:27 PM   #422
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Originally Posted by Treasures From Elf View Post
For the person talking about getting touched.

I absolutely HATE being touched. It didn't used to be this way but as time goes on and I've had more children and the number of people touching me increased, this is what happens.

I let anyone under the age of around 6 touch me whenever they need to. Occasionally, I will mention that I need space. Between 3-6, I teach them about personal boundaries.

Older than that, I prefer them to ask. I have valid reasons, that are mine and personal.

If ANY of them are hurt, I am there, tending to them, hugging them and loving on them. They are not lacking in physical touch. I give hugs every day to all of them, multiple times, whether I like to or not. I kiss them every day. I tell them I love them every day.

They are not emotionally or physically scarred.

:twitch:
Hugs. I absolutely know how hard it can be. My dh is the only one who can touch me as often as he wants. Idk why.
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Old 02-08-2013, 03:50 PM   #423
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

I just wanted to shout out to the moms out there that never tried to breastfeed and dont have any "valid" reasons for not trying.

I think your choice is fine. It may not be what I would or have done, but that doesnt make it wrong. You have not destined your child to a horrible life based simply on the fact that you are not breastfeeding. You can still be a great mom! Dont let all the haters get you down. If it makes you feel better, I promise all moms get judged and critcized no matter what the topic or what the choice.

Last edited by doodah; 02-08-2013 at 03:51 PM.
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Old 02-08-2013, 04:45 PM   #424
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I just wanted to shout out to the moms out there that never tried to breastfeed and dont have any "valid" reasons for not trying.

I think your choice is fine. It may not be what I would or have done, but that doesnt make it wrong. You have not destined your child to a horrible life based simply on the fact that you are not breastfeeding. You can still be a great mom! Dont let all the haters get you down. If it makes you feel better, I promise all moms get judged and critcized no matter what the topic or what the choice.
Amen
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Old 02-08-2013, 09:54 PM   #425
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

personally i breastfeed. we cant afford formula and in my opinion if my breasts allow me there is no reason why i shouldnt. however ever since day 2 its been a struggle. i didnt relies the commitment it meant.

i was molested at a young age and i really dont like the sensation it brings, but i have gotten over my issues and find it to be a wonderful opportunity to bond.

we also had feeding issues in the beginning. breastfeeding is an anxiety of weather i have enough or if i can be away from baby long enough with the milk provided. it also means that i am primarily the sole caregiver at night. i also have to keep a huge mental note on my health. its a huge responsibility and some times a burden.

if i ever had another baby i would probably bf for the sake of it being "the best" but i totally understand why women dont for any and all reasons.
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Old 02-09-2013, 04:03 AM   #426
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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It's fine, I am easily crushed by re-opening a nasty emotional wound. I felt like a failure even providing tube fed milk. I have a hard time with the loss of such a beautiful relationship with my oldest. I am currently nursing my second on demand at 18m and I cherish every moment. I remember the shun I felt in the LLL group, even with my daughter being "breastfed". It hurts, but it's no reason to take your hurt out on others. I was incredibly jealous of people nursing, it used to break my heart.
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Can't we all just be happy that we were able to feed our babies? I think we should invent a new holiday. We could celebrate the achievements of people who somehow managed to overcome their substandard nutrition as a baby and actually make something of themselves.
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Old 02-09-2013, 09:45 AM   #427
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Originally Posted by doodah
I just wanted to shout out to the moms out there that never tried to breastfeed and dont have any "valid" reasons for not trying.

I think your choice is fine. It may not be what I would or have done, but that doesnt make it wrong. You have not destined your child to a horrible life based simply on the fact that you are not breastfeeding. You can still be a great mom! Dont let all the haters get you down. If it makes you feel better, I promise all moms get judged and critcized no matter what the topic or what the choice.
I second the amen
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Old 02-09-2013, 11:02 AM   #428
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Flame away but I think too many people rely on formula because it is so readily there, it is no longer used for it's intended purpose of emergency use. I feel that if more women had to rely on breastfeeding more women would do so.
Either by nursing themselves, using a wet nurse, donated milk ,etc before formula.
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Old 02-09-2013, 11:19 AM   #429
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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Either by nursing themselves, using a wet nurse, donated milk ,etc before formula.
No way would I choose a wet nurse or donated milk before formula. Breast milk is just not that much better. Not unless there is a rare medical issue.

Again, look at a class of Kindergarteners and try to pick out which was breastfed. You can't. It doesn't make that much difference.

I breastfed both kids, 6 months for one and 1 year for the other. But people go way over the top with imagining how horrible formula is in comparison.

And its "intended purpose" is whatever the mother decides it is. Not necessarily emergencies only.
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Old 02-09-2013, 11:25 AM   #430
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I don't understand why or how someone would decide NOT to breast feed (even while pregnant, I mean). It makes me sad. It seems like so many women are giving up early or just never starting to begin with. Nursing has been such and important and wonderful part of having and caring for our five children, and I'm looking forward to breast feeding my new little guy, due in 19 days.

Do you have friends or relatives who have decided in advance NOT to breašfeed? What were their reasons? I do know that some women who have had breast alterations sometimes can't nurse but aside from a true physical inability, why wouldn't a gal at least try it and see?
I didn't and never planned to. They are 8 and 5. Healthy weight and well adjusted. Life goes on.
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