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Old 02-09-2013, 01:39 PM   #441
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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So, you never get the "touched out" feeling? I have four young children (ages 5, 3, 18 months, and almost 3 months). The two youngest are nursing on demand. Between that and constantly having four kids climbing on me, I often feel annoyed by not having any personal space. Usually, I'm touched out by about 6pm every evening. And sometimes, I just don't like being touched. There's nothing wrong with that. Explaining about personal space and boundaries with my kids won't cause them to have issues, or think mommy doesn't love them.

On a side note, DS2 has sensory issues and doesn't like being touched most of the time. I certainly hope no one tries to tell him he shouldn't have, or want to have, children because of that.
Thank you to you and everyone else who defended my comment!

Since I obviously shouldn't have procreated in the first place I think I will now gracefully bow out of the conversation.

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Old 02-09-2013, 02:13 PM   #442
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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I think until donated milk becomes more readily and economically available, formula will be the go to for those who need to feed their babies without using their very own breasts. The networks are quite strong in some areas of the country and pretty sparse in other areas.

I'm trying to imagine how one can manage to use a wet nurse unless it's their next door neighbor and they both SAH/WAH.

ETA: You also have to take into account what the freezing process does to the breastmilk that is donated.
One of my friends is currently a wet nurse. She is a SAHM, the other mother is not. So my friend babysits the baby while mom works, they do not live in the same town, but it's not that far of a drive. Friend also pumps so when baby goes back home she uses the pumped milk in a bottle. They've been doing this for almost a year now and will continue for atleast 18 months (last I heard).

I've also thought about being a wet nurse this time around.
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Old 02-09-2013, 02:19 PM   #443
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One of my friends is currently a wet nurse. She is a SAHM, the other mother is not. So my friend babysits the baby while mom works, they do not live in the same town, but it's not that far of a drive. Friend also pumps so when baby goes back home she uses the pumped milk in a bottle. They've been doing this for almost a year now and will continue for atleast 18 months (last I heard).

I've also thought about being a wet nurse this time around.
That's really cool that it works for them!
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Old 02-09-2013, 02:21 PM   #444
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

I would hold my child and bond with them giving them a bottle of formula before I would ever ever ever consider getting a wet nurse who gets to spend that precious time with them.

ETA: course, I'm a SAHM, so I get to be available for every feeding.
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Old 02-09-2013, 02:53 PM   #445
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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agreed 100%. When I needed to supplement I got as much donated milk as I could and then supplemented with formula. People don't realize how hazardous formula really is and I don't just mean with feeding children. I did a whole paper on artificial infant feeding and it really opened people's eyes.
Can you PM me your paper?
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Old 02-09-2013, 02:54 PM   #446
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I would hold my child and bond with them giving them a bottle of formula before I would ever ever ever consider getting a wet nurse who gets to spend that precious time with them.

ETA: course, I'm a SAHM, so I get to be available for every feeding.
I agree. Ds1 was nursed over a year. Ds2 until 2. Dd is 18 months and still going.

But ds2 was a nightmare to nurse. We dealt with everything in the first 5 weeks of his life and I had to stop for my sanity ad his. I was a happier mama to give him a bottle and snuggle him while he was content than to continue nursing with tears and stress.

That being said, he has sensory issues and is on the spectrum and hat may have played a part in our troubles. We'll never know.
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Old 02-09-2013, 02:55 PM   #447
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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I completely struggled with breastfeeding. I bought the best pump and all supplies I could afford, I spoke w/ at least 4 lactation consultants (I had weekly appointments with 1 of them), did tons of research when I was still pregnant and after my baby was born, had nursing covers to help w/ my anxiety of nursing in public, attended a LLL meeting, etc, etc, etc. I nursed my daughter full time for about 3 weeks, then had to start supplementing. At 6 weeks I was working 1 day a week and at 3 months, I was working 6 long days a week. We made it part time to 7 months. I love my daughter more than words can express, but every single feeding caused much pain for me. I had sharp, shooting pains, cracked nipples, was treated for thrush, tried using multiple products (cabbage leaves, breast ice packs, nipple covers, nipple shields, lanolin, etc) to help with the pain and it was just terrible. My supply was low and my daughter was slow to gain weight, so in addition to going to and from the pediatrician's office for weight checks and feeding consults, I ate oatmeal, drank orange juice, and whatever else I could do to make this work. Every bra and shirt hurt me since I was so sore. I cried so much over my failure as a mom b/c I couldn't EBF to 1 year. The first time I gave my daughter a bottle, we gazed into each others eyes and it was amazing. We did not bond until she was about 6.5 months old and I really think breastfeeding had a lot to do with that. Every time I fed her and she'd look away at something else, I would be in excruciating pain and would feel anger towards her. Did you hear that? I had anger towards my baby because she moved her head. I am all for breastfeeding, but usually when I read things about how breast is best, I think how I failed my child. If I knew anyone going through what I went through for as long as I did, I'd tell them to switch to formula. I am done having children, but I'm certain that I'd go through all of that again if I had another child because of all of the mommy guilt. If you breastfed your children for a long time, go you! Really, that's awesome, but PLEASE try not to judge other moms for not nursing. I think most everyone should try it, but if they don't want to or can't, it might be a better option for the mom and baby to just use formula and that's ok.
at the bolded, agreed.
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Old 02-09-2013, 03:00 PM   #448
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Flame away but I think too many people rely on formula because it is so readily there, it is no longer used for it's intended purpose of emergency use. I feel that if more women had to rely on breastfeeding more women would do so.
Either by nursing themselves, using a wet nurse, donated milk ,etc before formula.
Donor milk isn't as easy to acquire as you make it sound. One look at the eats on feets boards and it becomes very clear that there are FAR more women looking than providing. I know this because I have an 11 month old, and I was only able to acquire 2 donors for her, one of whom was a friend. I even posted an ad when I was still pregnant explaining my situation, and I had zero response. So again, it's not as easy as you make it sound. I would be ecstatic if I could find a long term donor, especially since i am pregnant again. But I'm also realistic and know that's not likely to happen
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Old 02-09-2013, 03:03 PM   #449
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"I would give formula before I would use a wet nurse"
People are missing my point if you did not have formula at every grocery, convienient store, drug store or local WIC office where all ya had to do is say hey I can buy a can of that baby formula so I don't have to think or worry about using my breasts for their natural intended purpose, then what would you do?
I am not knocking the use of formula or formula feeding moms but rather the formula companies, etc
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Old 02-09-2013, 03:04 PM   #450
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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Can you PM me your paper?
sure, it's on a thumb drive so I have to find which one it's on. Give me a few minutes!
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